Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
rubbish, you do need to work on your social skills. if you cant approach women, and get them to go out with you, YOU are the on doing something wrong here. i keep saying, its not the approach itself, its how you approach is the key. and its what happens right after the initial approach that women decide whether or not to date you, or even sleep with you.
if you are respectful with your approach, and treat the women like someone you would really like to get to know, you are going to have more success with women than you realize. do it right and you can have women eating out of your hands, and you have to beat them off with a stick.
do it wrong however, and the women will in fact leave you to your own devices.
Or if a guy doesn't approach women to get him to go out with him, maybe he just doesn't give a damn. I had male family members like this and they just don't care.
I don't want to hijack your thread but maybe it's best you don't have a girlfriend right now. Maybe it's not your time. I have this constant problem that everytime I see an attractive girl, I freeze up and cannot lay the game on her. I can talk to people and i can talk to women no problem. But if there's attraction involved, I cannot do it. This same problem happened tonight. This girl was GORGEOUS, (in a nerdy way) and for the life of me, I could not pull the trigger. We were at a friend's party and I remember thinking to myself, "pdizo, how come you cannot do this?'' About four hours into this party, the only words i said to her was hi and a couple of quick comments; there was something that was holding me back. Well luckily I didn't lay the game on her because her boyfriend was sitting at the party sitting in the same room. They didn't show much PDA for one another, but when I put the pieces together, it made total sense that they were at least seeing each other. I also noticed that when I don't pull the trigger, my gut tells me that I shouldn't; therefore, I don't. And it's usually she's with someone or she wasn't a good match.
Sorry for the long story, but maybe it's "the universe's (or God, or whatever) way to tell you that it's not your time. Maybe if you were to get a girlfriend now, maybe the universe knows that you wouldn't know how to treat her right or the girl may just use you. Everyone blossoms at different stages in life so just live life right now. In the mean time, just meet new people and go from there.
And many women can't. Some women don't get attention even from guys they don't fancy. If they wait around, they end up waiting around for decades. I know women like that. I also know women who never get approached, and who decided to take matters into their own hands, and do the approaching. A couple of those women are married now. The ones who have been waiting are still waiting after 20 years.
So have any of those women approached over a hundred guys, either to try to establish a friendship or ask for a number/out on a date, only to end up with one friend through the process?
It's not, but Mogwai has a good point. When a woman talks about having a tough time dating, they are never told by our female posters to seek therapy or anything, they usually get sympathy. That does not typically happen with males in the same boat.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ngroh
It's not, but Mogwai has a good point. When a woman talks about having a tough time dating, they are never told by our female posters to seek therapy or anything, they usually get sympathy. That does not typically happen with males in the same boat.
I think it does WHEN the reasons they are having a tough time are similar: social anxiety, self esteem issues, etc. But often the reasons are different, so the advice is different.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,067,341 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I think it does WHEN the reasons they are having a tough time are similar: social anxiety, self esteem issues, etc. But often the reasons are different, so the advice is different.
Well, you're forgetting that at least in my case,I have never asked for advice on here. Maybe someone else in my situation did, but not me.
Also the arm chair psychologists on here, and redZin who claims to have a degree in the subject are forgetting the several times I have been examined and found to be normal by qualified psychologists:
*psychological examination required to be conducted on all applicants for submarine duty. Found to be of sound mind, stable, no significant issues, cleared for submarine duty by professional psychologists at Navy Medical. The unit which does this has existed for many decades and thus has an excellent record.
* therapy when mother died in 1989 when I was 11 and she was 40. No issues detected.
* examination by a psychologist at the va when I hit my head on something at work found no concerns.
* examinations done as part of a scientific research study at Stanford found no issues other than a slight, barely detectable (10 out of 100 on their scientific scale) degree of social anxiety.
Accusations of mental illness are not only impolite, rude, offensive and insulting, but also are usually made by people who are either unqualified to make such assessments or discredited by the people I listed above, who are qualified and did not find any significant problems.
My point is that having bad experiences with relationships does not indicate mental illness.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
