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I don't usually post on message boards about this kind of thing and I feel a bit silly doing it, but here goes...
Ever since getting out of a long term relationship over a year ago, I have been using online dating. It came as a pleasant surprise when a good looking guy asked me to dance at a friend's wedding and asked for my number at the end of the night.
He contacted me a week later and we went out to dinner on a Saturday night. He picked me up, paid, and we had nice convo. There was no physical contact. He didn't contact me the next day. I decided to text him saying "thanks for dinner again. I had a great time" He responded promptly saying my pleasure and that he did too. We did not speak again for 4 days and I moved on.
On Friday ( nearly a week after our first date), he contacted me again and went out again. Had fun at an amusement park. Again, he didn't initiate any physical contact. I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek when he dropped me off at night- he didn't take that close contact any further.
Anyway, now it's Monday afternoon and I haven't heard from him since our date on Saturday night. All circumstances considered, is it safe to assume he's not interested in me and just move on?
Thanks!
There's this thing you can do called asking someone. Try that.
I don't know.... I sincerely hope I am not coming on too strong. I always worry about that. I spent my college years dating one guy for 4 years so I always worry that my "game" is off... haha.
A few people told me that "I send mixed signals" so the reason I contacted him after the first date is to clarify that if it's the case. I decided I will not contact him this time.
Anyway, I sincerely appreciate everyone's advice- I've never used this forum before; very interesting stuff!
I hear ya.
Not saying you shouldn't contact him, just saying it's only like the second day... Give it some time before you start second guessing him, or your self for that matter.
Good luck!
I sort of tend to agree with this. I like relationships. While I don't mind making some first moves, it seems to me that guy who doesn't contact me for like 3-4 days so early on wants something low stake, low rewards. If I impose myself on him- either physically or emotionally- I am afraid that won't lead anywhere good. Do you all agree or disagree?
Why can't a guy just date people?
I believe many people just want hookup but this guy is enjoying 'dating.'
If you enjoy the dates you have been on then don't ruin that.
Friends first without all the sexual pursuit is a very smart thing. He is a rare breed in that you get to know him as a person. Enjoy that part.
In time it will grow. Maybe he is shy or unable to express himself.
Grab his hand when you are walking with him. Hug him when you want a hug.
I agree with you for him not at least kissing you back when you made the initiative was awkward.
Communication is key. Jokingly ask him, 'Do you like being with me cause I would love to spend more time with you. I wonder what happened to you after a week.'
I sort of tend to agree with this. I like relationships. While I don't mind making some first moves, it seems to me that guy who doesn't contact me for like 3-4 days so early on wants something low stake, low rewards. If I impose myself on him- either physically or emotionally- I am afraid that won't lead anywhere good. Do you all agree or disagree?
I agree with you and I would just wait and see if he contacts you again. You already initiated contact once to let him know you are still interested. I've always tried to be equal with men and up front about showing my interest, but I swear it goes against me when I am too open and try to go 50/50 on initiating contact and dates. 50/50 is great for established relationships, but in the dating game it doesn't work. Unfortunately it is a game for a lot of people.
I agree with you and I would just wait and see if he contacts you again. You already initiated contact once to let him know you are still interested. I've always tried to be equal with men and up front about showing my interest, but I swear it goes against me when I am too open and try to go 50/50 on initiating contact and dates. 50/50 is great for established relationships, but in the dating game it doesn't work. Unfortunately it is a game for a lot of people.
Yeah, that may unfortunately be the case. You would think by the time people reach 30, you wouldn't be left wondering such things. But people, hah!
As for the 2-fer comments some of you made, I am not entirely sure what that means... but I don't think anything dirty was happening with that. The brother is recently married.... I just think I was being "investigated" AKA they wanted to see my profile/pics.
As for the 2-fer comments some of you made, I am not entirely sure what that means... but I don't think anything dirty was happening with that. The brother is recently married.... I just think I was being "investigated" AKA they wanted to see my profile/pics.
I would give it another day and then text him asking how he's doing. See if he responds, and take it from there. I would go on one more date,but if he doesn’t initiate a fourth or show you any affection, I would bail.
]Funny, but I am going through something similar. Had a good seconddate with a man who seemed very interested in me last week. After thedate, he told me what a great time he had and mentioned getting together thisweek before he left for an extended business trip. I texted himover the weekend and he responded, but mentioned he is having texting issues and in-coming texts are delayed for a fewhours. I wrote back and mentioned I was free Wednesday night and never heardback from him. Not sure if he ever received it or not, but so odd afterasking to see me again last week.
This guy was not affectionate towards me either. No hand holding whilewe walked and he was going for a peck on thelips when he walked me to the train, but I turned it into a very quick makeout. He was about to be friend zoned if I hadn’t done that.
IDK, I like men who are men and make the first move. I am all forrespect and chivalry, but being completely unaffectionate is a problem forme. So, this guy may not be for me anyway!
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