wife use to sleep with me and another guy while dating (divorce, affairs)
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Did he ask? Did she say she wasn't sleeping with and/or dating other people? Where was the lie?
They weren't in a exclusive relationship, where is the deception or betrayal?
I'm at a loss to understand this reasoning.
It was the point i made about the girl who willfully presents the image of a wholesome religious girl but has slept with over 1000 people and has slept with a few guys while dating you. The point was because you were fooled by the appearence of her being wholesome and religious your not looking for red flags etc. Thats the lie and deception and betrayal.
Idk why it seems so hard for some people to grasp-
The OP in his first post says she had sex w/ these 2 guys on back to back days when she was with him...
He was unaware of that- she totally misled the guy, & deceived & betrayed him.
And hawaiian has the same thoughts I do on this......
Their relationship was based on a lie.
He was "kept in the dark" for 3 weeks (during which time we don't know how often she saw the other guy, maybe just once), then he asked for exclusivity, and she agreed. How often did they date during those first weeks? Once a week? He was "kept in the dark" for 3 dates? 5 dates? How many dates is too many for him to be kept in the dark? Should she have announced to him on the 2nd date that she was seeing someone else? When would have been an appropriate time? Should she have disclosed it after they pledged to be exclusive? When is the right time?
It was the point i made about the girl who willfully presents the image of a wholesome religious girl but has slept with over 1000 people and has slept with a few guys while dating you. The point was because you were fooled by the appearence of her being wholesome and religious your not looking for red flags etc. Thats the lie and deception and betrayal.
Guys do it to but its called playin
Caveat emptor. Don't make assumptions, and you won't have any rude awakenings.
Is the OP still around? Do we know for sure this is even a legit OP post? What does the OP plan to do about this, and how does he feel about it after reading this thread, I wonder.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart
It was the point i made about the girl who willfully presents the image of a wholesome religious girl but has slept with over 1000 people and has slept with a few guys while dating you. The point was because you were fooled by the appearence of her being wholesome and religious your not looking for red flags etc. Thats the lie and deception and betrayal.
Guys do it to but its called playin
Portrayal of a image? Seriously?
All this is solved by normal adult communication. It is rather easy, actually.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Caveat emptor. Don't make assumptions, and you won't have any rude awakenings.
Especially on an image that doesn't have universally agreed upon definition. Most serious Christians I've met defined their dedication to their religion based on their personal relationships with Jesus more than rules (I've met serious Christians that have stripped and done porn (dated one born again woman like this in Wisconsin)), and "wholesome" can mean anything. Would it surprise anyone if Mary Anne got around more than Ginger? Not me. That isn't deception, just style.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,148,847 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by nolefan9399
First off I have been happy married for 21 years; my wife is the love of my life, I am 43 she is 42. When we started dating 23 years ago she said she was single. Just found out she was but had a sex buddy for about a year and she was still sleeping with him while I was courting her and she said she still slept with him for about a month after we had sex. She even had sex with us on back to back days. I know it was a long time ago but it does hurt knowing I took her on dates but the other guy got the sex. And it does discuss me knowing I got sloppy seconds.
How would you feel about this?
You feel normal. If you didnt feel a pang of jealousy, your statement that she is the love of your life wouldn't ring true, would it?
You cant hold onto the thought forever. You just have to grieve your loss of innocense on the matter, and hold on tight to what makes her the love of your life.
She obviously neither had an exclusive relationship with you or the other guy. You made it exclusive. You won! Would you want her to hold any relationships that you may have had before you struck one up with her against you? Walk a mile in the shoes, then judge it.
Is the OP still around? Do we know for sure this is even a legit OP post? What does the OP plan to do about this, and how does he feel about it after reading this thread, I wonder.
No OP with any sense would still be around.
He probably wanted to have a conversation with other long-married folks about how to work through the emotions he was feeling. Not a bunch of never-married kids talking about how he should dump her.
Hawaiian, I am so sorry I hurt your feelings. My intention was the opposite .
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