Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Because those are the worst times in dating for both genders. There's a reason why you never see any under 25 year old woman saying she has problems getting dates
Except that a fair amount of women here who post aren't dating... they are married. Which still falls under relationships and such. There are married men that post here too, but either the married women post more or there are more married women posting.
I am in the above 30 group and dating (I am divorced), but I find dating now to be a lot easier than in my 20s (I have more dates/meet more men). But I am an unusual case I think... in a lot of ways, I was a lot like some of the socially awkward people who post here. I was shy, didn't approach, was quite and just made a bunch of assumptions. But, in time, I came out of my shell. I am still the same person and pretty much look the same (but aged), yet somehow things seem to magically turn around when I changed my interaction with other people.
Dating wise, the problem I run into (mostly) is I just want to date and have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship--I have no plans on remarriage. Most of the guys I meet seem to want to be serious/marriage-minded. I am having a hard time finding someone in between in my age group who wants the same kind of relationship I do. But finding a guy and dating him? That's easy.
Who knows, you may be right and I may have been very popular if I wasn't so shy in my 20s... maybe a lot more popular with men than I am now. But, for me, my reality is that dating and grabbing the attention of men is a lot easier now. I have to imagine there are young women out there who are like what I was like too and dating is hard for them as well and they don't get dates.
But you know, there is a double standard of sorts. This is a generality, but if a young man doesn't get dates, society tends to blame women (women are too picky, out having fun, selecting "alpha guys"). He gets sympathy and told to just keep working on himself and things will improve in time as women will wise up and see what a good catch he is. If a young woman doesn't get dates, well, society blames her. There must be something wrong with her because "it's easy for young women to get dates." She must be fat, or too picky, or something along those lines. It's not the fault of men or something that will come in time, she's doing something "wrong." So there is a bit of a stigma to it and you keep it to yourself, a young woman also blames herself. But as a woman who had a hard time when young, I can tell you that's not always true.
I am in the above 30 group and dating (I am divorced), but I find dating now to be a lot easier than in my 20s (I have more dates/meet more men). But I am an unusual case I think... in a lot of ways, I was a lot like some of the socially awkward people who post here. I was shy, didn't approach, was quite and just made a bunch of assumptions. But, in time, I came out of my shell. I am still the same person and pretty much look the same (but aged), yet somehow things seem to magically turn around when I changed my interaction with other people.
So dating is easier for you in your 30s than your 20s, but you have recently given up online dating, haven't had a date since then, and joined a science fiction book club in hopes of meeting women who will introduce you to men?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
Like I said, I gave up online dating. Bye-bye. I haven't had a date since... then again, it's only been about a month and I also haven't made any attempts to meet new people either. I've been busy with travel and diving this summer. I joined a science fiction book club recently and maybe I will make new friends that way (and maybe, through new friends, meet available men).
So dating is easier for you in your 30s than your 20s, but you have recently given up online dating, haven't had a date since then, and joined a science fiction book club in hopes of meeting men?
Yep, lol. In my 20s, I had one boyfriend. The man who is now my ex (and who is now gay). Didn't have a single date from the time I was 19-25 This summer alone I dated four different men.
I should qualify things. It's easier to get dates, but I wouldn't call them quality dates. So maybe it's wrong of me to call it "easier" since it's not easier over all. Just easier to get the dates in the first place.
And yes, I quit online dating. I was having a hard time with it. Mostly it was me. It was like going on blind dates all the time. I prefer to get to know a guy and then date him if I am interested. Online, you date before you get to know the guy. That way just doesn't mix well with my personality. I quit online dating a month ago and haven't had a date since. But it's only been a month... heck, that's nothing compared to 6 years in my 20s
And to be fair, my new book club is to make new friends. Most of my current friends (all but a few) are married, know other married people, etc. They are all also really busy and I hardly see them anymore. I figure, join a book club for a style of writing I like, make new friends, and expand my social network. I don't expect to meet men in the book club itself, just expand my social circle a bit and "maybe" meet new men that way.
What MrRational said
Hint.. look at the sex distribution by age in the top graphic //www.city-data.com/zips/77063.html
Zip codes of course vary, but this a typical pattern, notice how there are more men than women up till a certain age, then there are more women than men.
I presume you mean these pics:
What I don't understand is why is there a spike of "never married" at age 45? How does that make sense?
Yep, lol. In my 20s, I had one boyfriend. The man who is now my ex (and who is now gay). Didn't have a single date from the time I was 19-25 This summer alone I dated four different men.
I should qualify things. It's easier to get dates, but I wouldn't call them quality dates. So maybe it's wrong of me to call it "easier" since it's not easier over all. Just easier to get the dates in the first place.
And yes, I quit online dating. I was having a hard time with it. Mostly it was me. It was like going on blind dates all the time. I prefer to get to know a guy and then date him if I am interested. Online, you date before you get to know the guy. That way just doesn't mix well with my personality. I quit online dating a month ago and haven't had a date since. But it's only been a month... heck, that's nothing compared to 6 years in my 20s
And to be fair, my new book club is to make new friends. Most of my current friends (all but a few) are married, know other married people, etc. They are all also really busy and I hardly see them anymore. I figure, join a book club for a style of writing I like, make new friends, and expand my social network. I don't expect to meet men in the book club itself, just expand my social circle a bit and "maybe" meet new men that way.
So a couple of questions:
1. In your 20s, did you date online?
If you didn't, can we prove you right by you putting up your 20 year old self vs your 30 year old self and see which one gets more replies?
2. You had 1 boyfriend in your 20s...how many boyfriends did you have in your 30s?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.