How do you feel about married couples having separate financial accounts?

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid

Some people do not actually know how to handle money, though. For instance, people prone to gambling, addiction, consumerism, etc. In that case, it's best to keep the accounts separate, so that the gambling, addiction, consumerism, etc. doesn't ruin the life of the couple completely, AND THUS the relationship.

If one partner has those kinds of issues the "life of the couple" is already ruined.

[Petunia 100]

Originally Posted by Nolegator

I'm still pretty young and not thinking about marriage yet, but I've thought about this a lot lately because my parents frequently fought about money despite being reasonably comfortable. I can only imagine how much worse it is if a household is living paycheck to paycheck.

I think I'd want to keep a separate account, at least for the money I saved and invested prior to the relationship.

You should do whatever works for YOU and your spouse. There's no right or wrong here.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Petunia 100

You should do whatever works for YOU and your spouse. There's no right or wrong here.

EXACTLY.

The unmarried posters on this thread who are so up in arms about this, so determined they will only do things their way, are completely clueless as to what being part of a married couple is all about.

And that's fine. You can't help what you don't know because of your lack of life experience

But it would just be better all the way around if they would stick to reading what others with experience post rather than trying to post about something they know nothing about.

[nikitakolata]

I haven't read all the replies yet, but I think what makes the most sense depends on whether you and your SO share the same mindset about money/finances. My husband and I were raised in pretty similar families when it comes to money. We are both DIYers and would never buy something on credit (except to get the rewards and pay it off right away).

When we first got engaged we had separate accounts, but honestly, reconciling so many accounts just got really annoying. A year later we closed half of the accounts and reduced it to 3 joint accounts. We've never had a real argument about money. I think if we had really different philosophies on spending then the joint accounts would have made sense, but it was just creating extra work for no reason in our case.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76

I think a lot of this also depends on how old you are when you get married. If you are both just starting out - joint everything might be easier and make more sense. If you have been married before or are in your 30's or 40's - you probably have a lot of accounts and whatnot established in your own name and you are used to handling things a certain way. We got married when I was 28 and he was 30 - we didn't have a lot and it was just so much easier to put all our resources together for our bills rather than keep anything separate. And right now, he's the one working and I'm a stay at home mom - and I just can't imagine having to ask him for money for groceries and clothes and everything.

Definitely. We were 37 and 41 when we got married (neither had been married before or shared accounts with a domestic partner), and already had numerous accounts in each of our own individual names when we met. We created a joint account when we were saving for our wedding, and it still exists with a few thousand in it, since we were underbudget for our wedding. Other than that, we have kept our own individual accounts, but given one another access to them.