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So, I don't want a repeat of what happened two weeks ago with the person freaking out. I've been talking to someone for several weeks and I'm just not interested. How do you reject someone politely? "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested."
My thing is, I sort of have this thing for someone else, but he lives in New York (near Buffalo). I like him, but I know he's not looking either (he's 14 years older than me and has been burned so many times before and I know lately I haven't been in the right frame of mind either), but it's odd, I like this other person but I want to be friends for now because I'm just unsure about things myself. I like talking to the New Yorker and I like the way he makes me feel, even if we're only friends. This other person, not so much. I just hate hurting feelings.
Honesty is best. Just say, I'm sorry, but I don't feel we are a match/I am not in the right frame of mind for a relationship (or whatever the main reason is). It might hurt, but the truth is always best. Don't worry about staying friends, leave that up to the guy--he might want to distance himself and you should give him that out. It sucks to do, I know, but you have to do it and the sooner the better if you know for sure you aren't interested.
Yeah, this other guy (the non-New Yorker) is a bit creepy. I don't like the vibe I'm getting. He's pushy and seems a bit off.
The New Yorker and I agreed to be friends and get to know each other more. I like the vibe from him because he doesn't push things like the other. The New Yorker knows the stress I've been under lately among some other things. Of course, I don't bombard the New Yorker.
the guy in NY that your smitten by, how would you like him (the least hurtful way) to tell YOU if the situation was you being the rejectee
then do the same thing with the dude youre not feeling
Actually, the New York guy pretty much did say, "I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now. I am not in the position for one and I'm really hurt." I understand that, believe me I do. He's a good friend and I don't want to overwhelm him. But, at the stage I'm in right now... I'm not ready myself.
when does innocent inquiry become harrassment? that would depend on the woman and whether she likes it or not.
to get down to it--- all interest expressed towards women is potentially inappropriate unless of course she likes it.
the old fashioned way of getting around this was to invite her to a church social. such an invitation was an ovature that could not be misconstrued as vulgar.
So, I don't want a repeat of what happened two weeks ago with the person freaking out. I've been talking to someone for several weeks and I'm just not interested. How do you reject someone politely? "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested."
My thing is, I sort of have this thing for someone else, but he lives in New York (near Buffalo). I like him, but I know he's not looking either (he's 14 years older than me and has been burned so many times before and I know lately I haven't been in the right frame of mind either), but it's odd, I like this other person but I want to be friends for now because I'm just unsure about things myself. I like talking to the New Yorker and I like the way he makes me feel, even if we're only friends. This other person, not so much. I just hate hurting feelings.
Jesse,
You cannot prevent hurt feelings and it is best to just be honest and tell them that you are not ready for any sort of romantic relationship right now.
You have to do what is right for you first and their feelings may be hurt however, they should be able to continue to be friends and find someone else or just find someone else. Either way that is their choice and you cannot help how others feel.
You cannot prevent hurt feelings and it is best to just be honest and tell them that you are not ready for any sort of romantic relationship right now.
You have to do what is right for you first and their feelings may be hurt however, they should be able to continue to be friends and find someone else or just find someone else. Either way that is their choice and you cannot help how others feel.
That's true. I'm thinking of my safety too and my safety is #1 priority.
rejection is never nice no matter hows it done; just make it clear, politely or not.
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