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Okay. You're right.
So what should I do? Feelings don't change on command.
How do I DEAL with this problem? Seeing her will only put salt on the wound.
Clearly you do need to stop spending time around the two of them. That just isn't working for you.
You might be able to transfer your feelings, like to Scarlett Johansson or something like that. I once, over a decade ago, was completely crushed by someone who resembled a sort of B-list actor. I went out and rented pretty much every film this actor had ever made and more or less made the switch. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it helped a little bit in a difficult situation.
I think it would be really healthy for you to find something to keep you occupied. Volunteer work? some sports team? after school activities? clubs?
What you are doing is not healthy. You are not in love (despite what you think) you are obsessed. Plus you are taking it to the point where you want your brother to suffer because of some woman you think you love who you really don't know.
I think it's because she had shown me the female companionship/affection I've been longing for through my teenage years.
Though she is physically attractive, I have no lust for this woman.
If you have no lust for her, what is the problem? I have to suspect that you indeed are needing some feminine closeness (totally normal) and she is someone you'd like to be close with. Why not ask her if she'd like to go out with just you sometime, shopping, out to lunch, go see a chick flick, that sort of thing? Also, do you have female friends/relatives you can start spending more time with? That may alleviate some of the stress you are feeling.
I think it's because she had shown me the female companionship/affection I've been longing for through my teenage years.
Though she is physically attractive, I have no lust for this woman.
Hmmm... okay, you enjoy her company. What about channeling this affection for her into something more family-like? What about thinking about her as your big sister instead? After all, if your brother should marry her, she would then be family to you.
I adore my brother-in-law. He's a really great guy, but I have always had only a sisterly affection for him. And I've always had many good platonic male friends all of my life. Since I only have sisters, these guys are like the brothers that I never had.
And it's good to feel love for others, but realize that there are many kinds of love. And it's okay to have close platonic female friends.
Ok, I know y'all here mean well, but it is never healthy to keep feelings bottled up. And I don't mean he needs to tell his brother and the girlfriend all his deep feelings, but they have to come out somewhere.
I just think getting involved in an activity to focus his energies elsewhere is the best thing he can do.
I think it would be really healthy for you to find something to keep you occupied. Volunteer work? some sports team? after school activities? clubs?
What you are doing is not healthy. You are not in love (despite what you think) you are obsessed. Plus you are taking it to the point where you want your brother to suffer because of some woman you think you love who you really don't know.
There's only so much I can do before I just lay down at night and have the thoughts come back to me.
I tried keeping my mind off, but all that results is a deep, sinking feeling when she cycles through again.
If you have no lust for her, what is the problem? I have to suspect that you indeed are needing some feminine closeness (totally normal) and she is someone you'd like to be close with. Why not ask her if she'd like to go out with just you sometime, shopping, out to lunch, go see a chick flick, that sort of thing? Also, do you have female friends/relatives you can start spending more time with? That may alleviate some of the stress you are feeling.
I think I just want her to love and care about me in the sense that I currently do about her.
Going out with her without my brother will only descend me deeper into my feelings.
And no, I don't have many female relatives. Not living here anyway.
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