Men who gave up on women... (how to, love, therapy, attractive)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...How did you give up? How did you finally relax so that it doesn't bother you anymore? How did you clear your head? I mean, I can distract myself from the tense feeling of being lonely for a bit, but it's all temporary. It's as if my brain/subconsciousness is wired to want company, and I'd like to know your secret to stop being wired.
I understand the why, I didn't find an ounce of how in that other thread. I want to know HOW they gave up on women. I want to know HOW they turned off the mental switch in their head that is labeled "Desire for Women".
In other words, how did they stop being desperate?
You will always think about it, you're human, and will always want to be loved and wanted by someone.
But, when you know that no one has any interest in you, and you know you're not attractive looking in any way, there's no point since it's never going to happen.
It'll never go away, so you just deal with it as it comes and work on doing other stuff to occupy your mind.
Some people it's easier and other people not so much. Some guys are super desperate for women and don't sleep well unless they've got one. Other guys are naturally (almost) indifferent. Probably has something to do with breastfeeding haha.
I understand the why, I didn't find an ounce of how in that other thread. I want to know HOW they gave up on women. I want to know HOW they turned off the mental switch in their head that is labeled "Desire for Women".
In other words, how did they stop being desperate?
You stop being desperate by having a life that doesnt revolve around women and simultaneously having options. Is it as life affirming and wonderous as it was back in your more desperate days? No, but it's still a nice treat.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,071,793 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
And probably most of us have. We still get that feeling of wanting to feel loved at times though, which can sometimes be difficult to shake.
Hobbies doesn't kill off basic human needs, it just redirects our attention elsewhere.
Yes, exactly, I agree completely.
Like I said, Stanford said something similar. The lab where I was the subject of an experiment is very famous in the field. They know the latest scientific paradigm because they are a major influence on what the latest paradigms are. And they said that telling someone to not think about Distubing Thought X is not effective, because you can't control your thoughts. The brain generates thoughts randomly from the knowlege you have. So if the thought comes into your head and you don't have a "healthy" method of addressing it, then the problem is not solved. Furthermore, they said telling someone not to think of something just causes them to think of it more, because now they have to think about not thinking about it, right?
So, trying to think of better ways to address Negative Thoughts is called Cognitive Therapy (specifically CAM or Cognitive and Mindfulness). I'm not sure what the cognitive therapy paradigm would tell us about how to deal with the thought that we will never find love. The scientist at Stanford said such a thought is a "thinking error", specifically it is "catastrophizing": assuming a catastrophic outcome to your situation. Well, I'm not completely sure it is true in this particular case. But it's something to think about.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
