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Old 09-25-2014, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
5,042 posts, read 8,063,478 times
Reputation: 1883

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Just wanted opinions, particulary since there is someone who I've been friends with, dated since I've met her 8 years ago and care about truly. But, she's technically obese and long term, just like most obese people, things like heart disease and diabetes are more of a possibility than someone who's HWP. What do you all think, if someone said you were shallow for not preferring fat people, but, the reason why, you don't, for a LTR, is, physical health issues, are magnified that much more and you don't want to stuck in a live in situation or a marriage with that.
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Old 09-25-2014, 12:18 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,060,350 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beenhereandthere View Post
Just wanted opinions, particulary since there is someone who I've been friends with, dated since I've met her 8 years ago and care about truly. But, she's technically obese and long term, just like most obese people, things like heart disease and diabetes are more of a possibility than someone who's HWP. What do you all think, if someone said you were shallow for not preferring fat people, but, the reason why, you don't, for a LTR, is, physical health issues, are magnified that much more and you don't want to stuck in a live in situation or a marriage with that.
I don't think it's unreasonable to want to be with someone who's going to be self-aware of their own health.

You want to be with someone who's going to stick around for the long-haul... healthwise.

It's like saying, "Would I date a smoker?" Probably not. We live two completely different lifestyles.

If they were the occasional smoker, maybe. But, depends. And, are they looking to improve their health in some way? I hope so.

Lifestyle/health are not shallow issues. Shallow issues are more like "He drives a Mercedez instead of a Jag." Or "He bought me a 5 carrot instead of 15" unreasonable expectations.
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Old 09-25-2014, 12:21 AM
 
3,603 posts, read 5,646,781 times
Reputation: 3362
OMG these acronyms have turned English into a foreign language. I honestly have no idea whatsoever what you're talking about.
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Old 09-25-2014, 12:24 AM
 
1,059 posts, read 1,134,054 times
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its the same reason if a women turns down a man because of his weight; no difference. The people who said that you're shallow are the same people who are bitter or refuse to point the fingers to themselves. We are all shallow to an extent. If you find the notion of becoming intimate with her sickening, then you shouldn't date her; no matter if people call you shallow. A physical connection is KEY to a relationship; it differentiates the friendship aspect to a relationship and romantic aspect to a relationship. I also see it being no different then if someone was not going to date someone due to a certain race, income level, or assets. (or lack thereof)


I don't mind chunky ass girls. I actually love them. But i cannot handle a morbidly obese woman; i just can't. I had this particular morbidly obese woman catch feelings for me, and when I didn't reciprocate them, she called me shallow. And this is coming from a woman who only dated black men since white men grossed her out. She also didn't want to date the fatties. (which was weird because she caught feelings for me despite my weight)

At the end of the day, it's your relationship that you would have to take of, not theirs. And if you deem obese women undesirable, then don't date them. And dont worry about what other people have to say, you cannot force attraction.
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Old 09-25-2014, 12:39 AM
 
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
5,042 posts, read 8,063,478 times
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Generally, I am not, but she's the only "obese" woman, that I am attracted to. She's not grossly obese,(5ft 3 and maybe just over 200, like Melissa McCarthy), but, again, possible future health issues, have me skiddish
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Old 09-25-2014, 12:57 AM
 
1,059 posts, read 1,134,054 times
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OH, SO YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO HER?! Then yea, it's pretty shallow, bro. I thought you had no interest in her physically.
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:00 AM
 
35,102 posts, read 47,914,669 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beenhereandthere View Post
Just wanted opinions, particulary since there is someone who I've been friends with, dated since I've met her 8 years ago and care about truly. But, she's technically obese and long term, just like most obese people, things like heart disease and diabetes are more of a possibility than someone who's HWP. What do you all think, if someone said you were shallow for not preferring fat people, but, the reason why, you don't, for a LTR, is, physical health issues, are magnified that much more and you don't want to stuck in a live in situation or a marriage with that.

No because you are putting physical appearance before physical health.
There is a difference in how one presents something.

Diabetes is not discriminatory, it can strike anyone at any time at any age.
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Old 09-25-2014, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,414 posts, read 49,999,859 times
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I would assume that men who turn down women due to the health concerns of being overweight will also turn women who are not overweight down for any other unhealthy habits, practices, or conditions. You know, since they're all about the health.
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Old 09-25-2014, 06:43 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
40,605 posts, read 32,939,151 times
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If you aren't attracted, you aren't attracted. That said, many of the thicker men and women I know can run, climb, and bike circles around the more "in shape" looking people. Being healthy /= thin or lean and being overweight /= being unhealthy (there is of course overlap, but it is a case by case basis).
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Old 09-25-2014, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Paradise
3,488 posts, read 3,018,940 times
Reputation: 5432
This sounds more like a "fear" issue to me. You are afraid to get too close to her for fear her life will end early and you'll end up alone.

Well, what happens if she is "THE ONE", your soulmate and you decide to walk away? In the end, you'll still be alone won't you?

There are A LOT of things that can happen in the future. You could end up getting some weird skin disease that makes you look like Quasimodo...but she could still love you anyway. It's also possible that as you grow older together you make changes in your lives that make you both healthier. Still doesn't guarantee a long life, but it would be happier filled with love.
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