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I will not order a faux leather jacket from the Fingerhut catalog (dad)
I will not become confrontational in stores to store clerks (mom)
I will not scrape mold of off cheese and then eat the rest of the cheese (dad)
I will not fix everything in my home with electrical tape and a caulk gun (dad)
I will not clean my floors on my hands and knees weekly (mom)
I will not wash the sidewalks with hot sudsy water (mom)
I will not go to mulitple grocery stores for sales (dad)
I will not be territorial over own lawn when other kids step on it (mom)
Oh my gosh, who will mow the lawn? Ladies, hold on to those lawn mowing men.
Um, but what if our men don't mow the lawn? Do we need to find other men who do mow the lawn? (Somehow I can't imagine Gucci shoe-wearing stepdad mowing the lawn, lol. Oh wait, maybe a riding lawnmower...)
Um, but what if our men don't mow the lawn? Do we need to find other men who do mow the lawn? (Somehow I can't imagine Gucci shoe-wearing stepdad mowing the lawn, lol. Oh wait, maybe a riding lawnmower...)
Hey, don't make me laugh with my cracked ribs (joking, joking).
Yeah, I'd trade them in for the more fuel-efficient, lawn mowing husbands. Maybe they come in hybrids these days. If they are LEXUS hybrids, then my stepfather will join in. [bless his heart, he's so sweet].
Both my parents smoke cigarettes and would have stiff cocktails once they came home from work. I have never smoked cigarettes and I hardly drink alcohol.
1. I will never roll a joint and smoke pot in front of my children (oh, don't smoke pot!)
2. I will never let my husband walk around the house in his underwear like my father had no problem walking around in front of me for years (mind you, I'm a girl)
3. I will never have big wild parties with my children present (and watching friends make out)
4. I will never let my children hear me moaning and screaming and bed shaking during S E X
5. I will never NOT be involved in their education
6. I will never tell my child "I hope you get hit by a Mac truck" as was told to me (yes, she did come after me and apologize later, but that's something you don't forget)
Awe I want to hug you. That's too much for a child to handle.
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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Smoke cigarettes (mom)
Smoke a pipe (dad)
Swear like a drunken sailor (mom)
Ditto on wiping the table with the smelly, mildewy sponge! (mom)
Make my kid do all the housework and cooking (mom and dad) Shellac rocks in the rock garden so they always look like they were rained on [really]! (mom)
Bring home cow manure (for fertilizer) in the car with all the kids in it – pew! (dad)
Make the oldest kid go save the younger one from drowning ("Go save your sister!") (dad)
Cook old smelly bacon (yuck!) – "It's still good!" (dad)
Keep saying, "I KNOW one of my [unmarried] daughters will come home and say: 'I'm pregnant!'" (mom -- and none of us did!)
These are great! How funny! I recognize some of these!
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Do we need to find other men who do mow the lawn? (Somehow I can't imagine Gucci shoe-wearing stepdad mowing the lawn, lol. 
Oh wait, maybe a riding lawnmower...)
