BF gave me his house key... (dating, girls, love, cheating)
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We've only been dating for 3 months, almost 4. Had a bit of a problem due to me wanting to move for grad school and him wanting to settle down but we're back together. He gave me a key to his home the other day and acted like it was no biggy! I love him but I'm starting to feel a bit suffocated? We see each other almost daily unless he 's on a business trip. I went from being alone and not having to account for anyone in my life to being in a relationship with this guy. Don't get me wrong, I adore him SO much, but I want to slow things down and have time for myself (and friends).
He's 33 and I'm 22. I know he wants to settle down and all that in the near future but I'm not quite there yet. How do I tell him to slow down without offending him and thinking he'll break up again? We broke up once and it sucked. A LOT. Don't want to go through that again. Can I return the key without offending him? I shouldnt have accepted it in the first place but it's too late to be regretting it now. How important is this to a guy? To give a girl his house key.
I think better to sit down and talk how you feel. Comparing to his age his feeling for settling down is not unfair. As you are 22 you are not there yet from your side it is not unfair either. So you both need to talk express how you feel exactly to him. But be decent. If you are not ready you are not ready, he cannot force you for something you are not ready. Breaking up back again again a break is not healthy either. For me break up is a break up no look back again.
And, you're worried he'll break up with you again? You're kinda making a statement by returning the keys, which sounds like you're breaking up with him.
If you want to slow the relationship down, stop hanging around him 24/7 and do your own thing.
Verbalize to him? "I really like you a lot, but I need to do what I need to do." If he's that possessive and won't allow you your space? Then possibly think twice about this guy. He's 33, ready to settle. You're 22, not quite there yet.. perhaps it isn't the right timing. You don't want to stay in a controlling relationship either.
I think a guy giving a girl a key in a situation like yours is just saying hey, I have nothing to hide and you can come over any time. I wouldnt look at it as anything more than that.
It's a key, whoopity do! At least you know he isn't cheating on you. Seriously though I have gotten/given keys after a month even. It's normal for sane people to do things like this. For the love of God don't give it back. Saying you "need space" or something similar? Might as well break up with him.
Thank him for showing such confidence by giving his key to you. However,explain to him how you love him and understand him as someone who is really interested into something serious. Tell him that you are also willing to enter in a serious relationship but you have some things which you need to tackle on. Do not mention friends, tell him about school. Explain that sometimes it may be hard to meet frequently because you will be getting busier and let him share his views. Show him how you love him and ask him in a nice way: what would you do if someone breaks in your house and steals your possessions? Would he jail you for having the keys? Tell him you really care but are also afraid.
We've only been dating for 3 months, almost 4. Had a bit of a problem due to me wanting to move for grad school and him wanting to settle down but we're back together..
So, how is it you two are back together? Did you give up on grad school, just for this guy? Or are you going to grad school locally? That's a terrible reason for him to break up with you. He should be supportive of your goals. The problem is, you two are at completely different stages in your life. You're still in the process of getting an education, and a relationship shouldn't stop you from that. 22 is too young for someone to be settling down, especially with someone who thinks more of his own needs than what's best for you. I hope you're still going to go to grad school. Was it just for an MA (2 years), or for a PhD?
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