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I'm getting tired of reading all of the clueless posters here posting about how they lost "their love" and that their "princess" cheated on them and how it happened because they were the "perfect guy for them."
I'm also disgusted of the LACK of ADVICE threads in this sub-forum. It's basically everyone just complaining about the same thing over and over again. Disgusted.
Masculine energy was founded on a simple principle: Happiness by motivation through passions and hobbies.
NO WHERE in that sentence do WOMEN equate to happiness. Men are "naturally" independent for that sole principle. You can lie to yourself all you want on how "you just want a nice girl" or "want a girl with a nice personality" but I see through that rubbish. You just want a girl to have sex with and potentially get a relationship with. That is fine, but it's HOW you're going after it is what the guys like me have a problem with.
You're lying.
L-Y-I-N-G.
You're lying to YOURSELF and to the GIRL. When a "player" comes along and hooks up(or tries) with girls, he generally makes his attentions clear through subtle hints such as basic attraction methods or he blatantly declares the he does not want a relationship. That is being TRUTHFUL of YOUR actions and not trying to manipulate the other party into thinking something else.
When YOU don't get your way, not the player, then you whine and complain about how she's a b**ch and wh**e and other various names and then you proceed to stalk her. OR you do the opposite, you be overtly nice and get in touch with her everyday non stop about how you were "wrong" and begging her to give you a "Second chance." You stalk her either way.
Why are you stalking her? Why can't you move on? Why are you being a feminine man? Why!?!?!?!?!?
It's because YOU are co-dependent. It's because you do not like yourself. It's because you grew up in a terrible living conditions that you're this way. It's because you are not looking out for yourself. It's those reason why you're behavior is so desperate, it's because you want affection REGARDLESS if you truly care about yourself or the other person. THAT, ladies(I know you're reading this) and gentlemen, is SELFISH. You're the type of guy that wants someone to be there, in short:
You like the THOUGHT of having a girl, not the girl herself.
The second she begins to slip away, you cower and do everything in your power to try and "Win" her back. But the thing is, it's really not her(Generally) it's you being this weak and needy man. It's YOU not caring about yourself. It's YOU not making YOURSELF happy through hobbies and passions. It's YOU relying on OTHER people for happiness.
It. All. Starts. With. You.
A confident and masculine man will not bend over backwards for a girl, especially one he has just met. He will not over analyze situations in regards to women. He's never negative even in bad situations. He will not rely on other people, not only women, for happiness. Why can he do all of this? What makes him so special?
He's focusing on his own life. He's doing what he loves, which are his passions and hobbies. Maybe he loves mountain climbing so he does that, that joy that it brings CARRIES over to his personal life. It's true what they say "do what you love for a living" because that "living" is your LIFE. He does not let anything tear down his own life simply because he's doing what he loves to do. Women are not even in this equation, women are like the icing on the cake. Have you ever wondered why women love men with money/status? No it's not because they're gold diggers(generally)...
It's because he's living his OWN life which is equating to success and confidence. Women like a successful guy. One that is comfortable in his own skin and enjoys what he does. Not You. Not the guy who focuses 100% on women for happiness. Not the guy crying in the corner about your girl dumping you for some jerky guy. Not the guy stalking new girls you meet. Not the guy doing nothing about his life.
Not. A. Loser.
So now you ask: "So how do I overcome this weak and neediness? How do I become more successful with women?"
Right?
.
..
...
....
Wrong. You still don't get it. It's not about women, it's about YOU.
First off, you need to clear your mind to an open sleight and accept that you do not like yourself at this moment. Accept that at this moment in time you basically suck. Point out ALL of your flaws and write ways you can IMPROVE on them. You need to be 100% honest. If you run into a "flaw" that you think can go either way, then it's still something you need to work on. This is basic steps toward being a better person for YOURSELF and OTHERS. People, and women, do not like losers- especially ones whom lie about their intentions, even to themselves.
Here are some flaw examples:
Quote:
Over/underweight/skinny: I need to put some time into working out more. protein powder.
Not enough clothes: Go to the mall and buy some fashionable clothes. (don't go metrosexual on this one please..)
Lack of hygiene: Take a shower at least once a day and brush my teeth at least once a day.
Trouble talking/stuttering/too quiet: I need to take some time of out my day to read something out loud. Or use something that involves talking to other people(game consoles, computers, etc...) and practice on them.
Bad job: I need to find a better one.
Negative mindset: I need to think more positive.
"When the student is ready, the master will reappear"
Never, ever, stop improving. There is no such thing as being "perfect."
While I think the opening post is more of a rant, than advice, there is a lot of truth there.
However, OP, many people who are newly heartbroken without experience on how to deal with it start focusing on what the other person did to them, and not on what they did to lead to the situation that hurt them. This kind of self perception, looking inward, and not outward, comes with time, patience, and stepping on a lot of broken glass to be honest.
20 something kids, and 30/40 something women who have only had 4 relationships in their lives are the kind of people that you are looking towards.
For example, after my last relationship ended, I was heartbroken and I lashed out in my mind on how SHE could do this. There was a lot of fault for her, but because I've been through relationship ends before, I also focused on what I did, and the problems that I caused to lead to what happened. Now my friends and family all were supportive, and I didn't come here for justification on the way that I felt, but this is why I healed, and moved on.
Never, ever, stop improving is good. Love yourself, above all others, that is good (except your kids). Be happy with who you are, and always look at how you could have changed, and what you could have done differently, those are good things to look at.
Of course, there are just people who had terrible relationships, with terrible partners and were blindsided. That happens also. The best thing someone can do in that case is to look at why they were so blind to this.
You left out the most important one some men aren't attractive to women no matter what they do.
That's ridiculous.
That mindset is only hampering yourself. That negativity and lack of self love is what's holding you back. What you think about yourself will generally reflect on how you carry yourself on the outside.
Everyone can either like you or not like you, there is no "no specific gender likes me at all."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979
And the best advice of all, lower your standards. Ugly women need love also, and I've seen some ugly women with no men.
Never lower your standards that are lower than your own. You deserve the best that you are currently capable of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979
However, OP, many people who are newly heartbroken without experience on how to deal with it start focusing on what the other person did to them, and not on what they did to lead to the situation that hurt them. This kind of self perception, looking inward, and not outward, comes with time, patience, and stepping on a lot of broken glass to be honest.
That's called being selfish, or egotistical.
"I didn't do anything wrong it was all her and what she did!" - the guy's ego speaking. I agree, I does take a lot to admit that you're at fault for mistakes and even more so to improve on it.
That mindset is only hampering yourself. That negativity and lack of self love is what's holding you back. What you think about yourself will generally reflect on how you carry yourself on the outside.
Everyone can either like you or not like you, there is no "no specific gender likes me at all."
Never lower your standards that are lower than your own. You deserve the best that you are currently capable of.
I've seen a lot of ugly guys who only want to date 10's. Thats what I mean by "lower your standards".
I could have sex with fat girls all day long with some of the messages I get from OLD. That doesn't mean I'm going to be doing that, because they are below the standards I have set for myself. It doesn't mean I'm holding out for Mila Kunis either.
I've seen a lot of ugly guys who only want to date 10's. Thats what I mean by "lower your standards".
I could have sex with fat girls all day long with some of the messages I get from OLD. That doesn't mean I'm going to be doing that, because they are below the standards I have set for myself. It doesn't mean I'm holding out for Mila Kunis either.
The only want to date 10's because that's what they think they're capable of. It's their ego speaking not themselves.
Also, looks only matter so far. If you simply dress well and take care of yourself, then you can basically get anyone.
Thats not true. Lose weight, get some nice clothes, make yourself look good. I've seen ugly men look really nice in a well tailored suit.
And the best advice of all, lower your standards. Ugly women need love also, and I've seen some ugly women with no men.
If she is ugly that means im not attracted to her and no one is entitled to love. I never had a girlfriend so if I hade to date a women that I was not attracted to I would just throw in the towel on dating and stop the fight.
OP is that your story or are you talking about the posters in this forum? I have a difficulty to understand, what is the story about ? Some one you met?
OP is that your story or are you talking about the posters in this forum? I have a difficulty to understand, what is the story about ? Some one you met?
Everyone.
I was at that point before, someone else was, and someone else is.
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