What to do about this co-worker I have a thing for? (movies, married)
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Need some advice. I am extremely close to a guy I met at work in July. We both work in a field where the work is temporary, so we will only be working together for a few more weeks at this point.
The two of us hang out outside of work often. We'll go to get dinner together, go to bars, go to the movies... Sometimes it's with friends, sometimes it's just the two of us. We hang out nearly every weekend outside of work. We both have met and have become close with each other's friends. I will even hang out on my own with one of his best girl friend's that he's been friends with since kindergarten.
I know we are very close, and we have a different relationship than either of us has with any of our other co-workers. I know he values and respects me. When we are talking, it's like there is no one else in the room. He gives me his full attention. He asks me genuine questions about my life, my family, my goals for the future, etc.
I really like him a lot, respect him, and am just genuinely happy to have him in my life, in whatever way that is. Right now it's friendship, but I would love more with him. How do I know that this feeling is mutual? I feel like it's possible that he feels the same way, but is maybe afraid to make any moves while we are still working together? Should I wait to see if anything changes once we aren't co-workers anymore?
Need some advice. I am extremely close to a guy I met at work in July. We both work in a field where the work is temporary, so we will only be working together for a few more weeks at this point.
The two of us hang out outside of work often. We'll go to get dinner together, go to bars, go to the movies... Sometimes it's with friends, sometimes it's just the two of us. We hang out nearly every weekend outside of work. We both have met and have become close with each other's friends. I will even hang out on my own with one of his best girl friend's that he's been friends with since kindergarten.
I know we are very close, and we have a different relationship than either of us has with any of our other co-workers. I know he values and respects me. When we are talking, it's like there is no one else in the room. He gives me his full attention. He asks me genuine questions about my life, my family, my goals for the future, etc.
I really like him a lot, respect him, and am just genuinely happy to have him in my life, in whatever way that is. Right now it's friendship, but I would love more with him. How do I know that this feeling is mutual? I feel like it's possible that he feels the same way, but is maybe afraid to make any moves while we are still working together? Should I wait to see if anything changes once we aren't co-workers anymore?
Thanks so much.
Do you know for a fact that you will not be working together indefinitely?
If so, there's no need to wait to have the discussion or initiate a romantic relationship. Being honest, I'm not sure you're 'just friends' or purely platonic at this stage anyway.
If you're spending significant amount of time outside the office with him on non-business related issues, it doesn't make much difference if you're just friends or romantically involved. You're already pretty close if you're spending time individually with his friends; that's not all that common even when people are romantically linked and have known each other for a lot longer than three months.
It seems the feeling is mutual based on how much time he spends with you. To confirm, you can address the situation directly to gauge his interest. Being honest, I think a some of it is semantics; seems like you're already en route to a relationship, though maybe you're going slower with some of the physical elements than you would if you weren't co-workers.
IMO, the question to really ask yourself is how much do you want this person to be a part of your life once your co-assignment is over and if (for whatever reason) a romantic relationship doesn't work out? Based on what you've said, being platonic friends with the guy after you're no longer working together could be an issue. If you take that approach, I'd recommend limiting the amount of time you spend together (especially alone) to avoid hurt feelings, etc.
Do you know for a fact that you will not be working together indefinitely?
Can't say for certain that we won't in the future, but there's nothing on the horizon right now. In our line of work, there's a good chance we'll work together in the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LIS123
It seems the feeling is mutual based on how much time he spends with you. To confirm, you can address the situation directly to gauge his interest. Being honest, I think a some of it is semantics; seems like you're already en route to a relationship, though maybe you're going slower with some of the physical elements than you would if you weren't co-workers.
IMO, the question to really ask yourself is how much do you want this person to be a part of your life once your co-assignment is over and if (for whatever reason) a romantic relationship doesn't work out? Based on what you've said, being platonic friends with the guy after you're no longer working together could be an issue. If you take that approach, I'd recommend limiting the amount of time you spend together (especially alone) to avoid hurt feelings, etc.
The reason I haven't made any moves on him at this point is because I really want to have him in my life longterm, even if it just stays as friendship. So I am playing the laid-back approach, and just letting him come to me. The way I see it is, if he's interested, he'll let me know. And if not, well I know I have a really great friend.
Need some advice. I am extremely close to a guy I met at work in July. We both work in a field where the work is temporary, so we will only be working together for a few more weeks at this point.
The two of us hang out outside of work often. We'll go to get dinner together, go to bars, go to the movies... Sometimes it's with friends, sometimes it's just the two of us. We hang out nearly every weekend outside of work. We both have met and have become close with each other's friends. I will even hang out on my own with one of his best girl friend's that he's been friends with since kindergarten.
I know we are very close, and we have a different relationship than either of us has with any of our other co-workers. I know he values and respects me. When we are talking, it's like there is no one else in the room. He gives me his full attention. He asks me genuine questions about my life, my family, my goals for the future, etc.
I really like him a lot, respect him, and am just genuinely happy to have him in my life, in whatever way that is. Right now it's friendship, but I would love more with him. How do I know that this feeling is mutual? I feel like it's possible that he feels the same way, but is maybe afraid to make any moves while we are still working together? Should I wait to see if anything changes once we aren't co-workers anymore?
Thanks so much.
Yes. A lot of guys are just like house cats. You scratch them on the back of the ear, and they purr and rub up against you leg. You made them feel good, so they make you feel good. It can be that cut and dried. Sorry. Just bide your time to the end of the assignment. Not every amazing connection is meant to be long term or permanent though, so don't build your hopes up too high.
Wait till your last day then start a business together, get married and have some babies.
You guys sound awesome together!!
Don't know if you're joking or serious. But thank you.
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