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I am in a sexless marriage of 11 years. I (un)fortunately 6 months ago got involved with a married younger female working at the same place. She is young, full of vigor, very sociable person. Sex was amazing, mind blowing for both. She said her husband wanted only her money, he didnt give her attention, she did not love him, they use KY jelly to have sex.
Last month she started pulling back. She says she loves me but loves her husband too. And she can't decide who to be with. She has been married for 2 years.
Her marriage doesn't seem intolerable now that I am in her life and none of the reasons she had told me that were wrong in the first place don't exist any more and she wants to give him another "chance". She is afraid of hurting him and she is too close to her sis-in-law. She told me she is not ready for a divorce but she keeps sending mixed signals.
I have almost come to the verge of divorcing my wife and told her I want a divorce. She has threatened to take my two kids 5 and 2 years, away from me. She doesn't know about the other woman, yet. I am aware that many men wouldn't do this, but felt I wouldn't let the best thing that happened to me get away.
Options were,
1. Continue being friends with benefits and cheating. The insane option.
2. Come clean. Tell our spouses, and get on with life, however terrible it may be. The sane option.
3. Give her husband a "chance". The Russian roulette option.
We chose option 3. last week,
Over the past week, she has called me, drunk texted me, we both have been emotional mess, both miserable. She hasn't decided yet, what she wants to do. We are getting back together on the premise of doing outdoor activity. But I know, she misses me and cant stay away.
I am feeling lost. I have never been so much in love with someone so much. I have been left a complete emotional wreck. I drink in the middle of the day. I cry. Used to drink 1beer in 6 months, before.
My wife wants to fix things with me, but I cant feel any attraction towards her. Years of insults, arguments, and sexless marriage have taken their toll. I am afraid I will be left without my lover and without kids at the end.
Her husband doesn't know about all this, and I cant imagine what I have done to his life. I sincerely feel sorry for him (one of the reasons for breaking up with her, I told her we wont cheat anymore).
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I too was against adultery, but this happened to me. It turned my world topsy turvy.
Never in my life did I think, love at first sight was possible.
I am in a sexless marriage of 11 years. I (un)fortunately 6 months ago got involved with a married younger female working at the same place. She is young, full of vigor, very sociable person. Sex was amazing, mind blowing for both. She said her husband was wanted only her money, he didnt give her attention, she did not love him, they use KY jelly to have sex.
You are starving and she offered you a sandwich. Maybe you really do love her, or maybe it is nothing more than that.
Leave her alone. Let her work things out with her husband, or not. But that is their business, not yours.
Your business is to decide what to do about your own marriage. Your choices are:
1. Fix it.
2. End it.
3. Accept being miserable.
You say your marriage has been sexless for 11 years, yet you have children aged 5 and 2. That doesn't quite add up. Perhaps it is more that you have been unhappy with your sex life for 11 years?
There are three separate issues: your relationship with you kids, your wife, and the other woman.
You need to decide each separately. If you are not able to rehabilitate your marriage, it is best that you discuss that with your wife and end your marriage in a way that preserves whatever goodwill remains and your relationship with your kids. It is up to you at that point whether you bring up the other woman, but if you have truly separated the issues, you will not bring it up.
If you have decided to end your marriage, then you can wait around for the other woman to either end hers or not, but obviously once you are a single person, the dynamic has changed and you may discover the grass is actually not greener on the other side.
You say your marriage has been sexless for 11 years, yet you have children aged 5 and 2.
Twice a year for the past 10 years. Wife is educated. Got preggo with the 2nd kid in one sex session. I thought she was interested in me, but was very surprised by the kid.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-14-2014 at 03:21 PM..
Reason: Fixed glitch in quote.
She wants to be friends. Last time we broke up, our 3rd attempt, I tried to block her off on FB, she said "It wont end up happy, if you block me, and don't even talk to me". She says things with a reason, likes dropping hints.
What a fool! You deleted your wife and neglected your children's emotional needs of having their father and mother rekindle the lost romance, just for you to selfishly pursue your own temporary sexual needs. Well I hope you are happy. Your wife even wanted to reconcile and try to get the feeling back with you and you turned her down. Fool! You don't care about your children or else you wouldn't have blasphemed and dishonored their mother with your selfishness for sex with a stranger.
If she divorces you and you lose the kids, you deserve it and I hope she takes everything you have. I hope the sex was good enough to last the rest of your life alone in misery.
My advice is to pay up. Obligatory support is looming.
You say your marriage has been sexless for 11 years, yet you have children aged 5 and 2. [ /QUOTE]
Twice a year for the past 10 years. Wife is educated. Got preggo with the 2nd kid in one sex session. I thought she was interested in me, but was very surprised by the kid.
You're saying she got pregnant on purpose without discussing it with you? That's a pretty big breach of trust.
I think if two people are both willing, any marriage can be salvaged, and even turn into something really worth having. But it does take two willing people.
Have you told your wife "Look, I am miserable, and here are the reasons"? If you do that and she is not willing to work on your relationship, there is really nothing you can do. Your options become end it or just accept being miserable.
You say your marriage has been sexless for 11 years, yet you have children aged 5 and 2. /QUOTE]
Twice a year for the past 10 years. Wife is educated. Got preggo with the 2nd kid in one sex session. I thought she was interested in me, but was very surprised by the kid.
Well, your name says it all.
You have two kids to raise! Think about them!!
This whole thing is going to destroy them.
Sex is a mistime-nor. The more you miss the meaner you get.
In your case this may have proved true.
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