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24 female and I have no relationship/sex experience. It really embarrasses me and I get nervous about having to explain it and be judged too early on! I had a first date with a guy the other week and that was the thing that I was most nervous about. It didn't come up in this instance, but yeah, just curious.
i personally dont really care if my ladies have past relationships or not. if they bring up the subject, i will explore it with them, but in the end i dont really care much about their past. i try to live in the now. the past doesnt matter, the future doesnt matter.
the reason i do this is to take the pressure off her. if she doesnt have to worry about what my reaction might be to something in her past, then she can relax and just be herself.
I think, the topic is unavoidable, whether its on the first or 6th date; you'll eventually have a clue of their past relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrissycs
It will come up naturally. It's never scripted. Usually it happens when the relationship is moving forward. If you are nervous, then go over in your head a response that you are comfortable with, so you're not stuck stammering and at a loss for words.
Agreed with these two.
For most adults, their previous relationships (or lack of) occupied a significant portion of their lives in the past. Particularly for those who are experienced...their prior relationships and the things they learned from them played a role in shaping them into who they are today. Part of getting to know people on a deep level is having some knowledge of their past. Sooner or later they'll share a funny story or memorable event or something that involved an ex-partner in some way.
Learning about someone's past relationships isn't (or shouldn't be) much different than learning about many other things about him or her. He will likely bring it up naturally on his own timetable once he feels comfortable doing so. You don't want to be pushy or too forward when getting to know someone b/c that may make him or her withdraw.
I find this information very relevant. Maybe not for a 24 year old, but if you are older, it is. A guy who is 40 and never had a relationship longer than 4 months, there clearly is something wrong. Or if he says ALL gfs cheated on him. Or if he says all his ex gfs hate him ... RED FLAG.
OP, I would just tell the guy, you have been so busy with school or building your career, you haven't been seriously dating so far. That should be enough as an explanation.
That's your choice. When I'm with someone I share things that I am comfortable talking about. I can honestly say I have only had one woman grill me about past relationships and needless to say I was not with her long. I have always lived my life in the present, not the past. People change and dwelling on the past is not healthy.
i personally dont really care if my ladies have past relationships or not. if they bring up the subject, i will explore it with them, but in the end i dont really care much about their past. i try to live in the now. the past doesnt matter, the future doesnt matter.
the reason i do this is to take the pressure off her. if she doesnt have to worry about what my reaction might be to something in her past, then she can relax and just be herself.
Seriously though if a date has cheated on an ex or is just bad at relationships or has some type of ulterior motive, I want to know. Every date has a track record that they need to fess up about.
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