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Sorry, but have to agree with mbuszu. You got that right man!
Too much overthinking. I hope that girl won't find out some day, that OP is discussing this issue on the internet...
It's ironic you say this when you, yourself, are participating on said discussion board. People come to the Internet all the time for advice on various topics. If you think it's strange or contributing to some sort of regressive behavior, then don't feed into it.
I actually appreciate talking things through with other people from a variety of backgrounds. I feel that I become more well-rounded as an individual when I consider all well thought-out perspectives. Frankly, I don't find a discussion like this any different than discussing a topic in a college classroom. This is my process.
It's ironic you say this when you, yourself, are participating on said discussion board.
it's not ironic, since I'm not asking the questions.
Quote:
People come to the Internet all the time for advice on various topics. If you think it's strange or contributing to some sort of regressive behavior, then don't feed into it.
I give advice because I want to. But since your questions and overthinking reveals some other issues you might have, I think it's generally better for me to not support this kind of behaviour.
I think it's generally better for me to not support this kind of behaviour.
Well then, good riddance.
There have been plenty of people on here who were more than happy to respond in kind and with thoughtful responses. You have done neither of these things. Rather, you seemed more than eager to proclaim this girl's disinterest in me based almost entirely on nothing. How many times did you post the same "It's so obvious, she's not interested" comment on this thread? You sounded like someone who has an axe to grind. If I had listened to you, I wouldn't be going out with her again tonight.
It's ironic you say this when you, yourself, are participating on said discussion board. People come to the Internet all the time for advice on various topics. If you think it's strange or contributing to some sort of regressive behavior, then don't feed into it.
I actually appreciate talking things through with other people from a variety of backgrounds. I feel that I become more well-rounded as an individual when I consider all well thought-out perspectives. Frankly, I don't find a discussion like this any different than discussing a topic in a college classroom. This is my process.
I actually think discussing this way is better than real life friends if it's a sensitive issue.
No real names are (usually) exchanged, and it would be pretty hard to figure out just who someone is talking about, even if you did know them in real life.
Some of the more specific stories can be a bit worrisome, but generally, this is probably easier and better than confiding in someone who might know both the poster and the person they are dating, and would have a bias, as well as possibly be crossing a line in discussing the matter.
I've actually point blank asked my wife about this. We both agree that, if some problem were to arise in our relationship that we need help with, an internet forum is preferable than discussing private matters in real life with people we both know. We also agreed that talking to each other is preferable to even that...
it's not ironic, since I'm not asking the questions.
I give advice because I want to. But since your questions and overthinking reveals some other issues you might have, I think it's generally better for me to not support this kind of behaviour.
Not everyone has a perfect sense of reading people, understanding social cues and understanding behavior. Some people need help with that.
Give the OP some credit. He's actually following advice and doing well, unlike many posters here.
I actually think discussing this way is better than real life friends if it's a sensitive issue.
No real names are (usually) exchanged, and it would be pretty hard to figure out just who someone is talking about, even if you did know them in real life.
Some of the more specific stories can be a bit worrisome, but generally, this is probably easier and better than confiding in someone who might know both the poster and the person they are dating, and would have a bias, as well as possibly be crossing a line in discussing the matter.
I've actually point blank asked my wife about this. We both agree that, if some problem were to arise in our relationship that we need help with, an internet forum is preferable than discussing private matters in real life with people we both know. We also agreed that talking to each other is preferable to even that...
Agreed. Because what if something serious were to develop between the two of us? Then my entire family and friends would already have a negative bias against her because of what I've discussed with them. I don't want to start a relationship that way.
To answer your question... yes, you have a good point that I completely overlooked. I am thinking in my day-to-day (not expecting a call or text mode) when I ignore my phone. Friends text me and sometimes I don't get the texts for a couple of days. But when I am expecting a text or something (like when I am dating someone I know who is into their phone)... I do look more. But still, it's not a habit I am used to. So I still might go hours before I think to go look at my phone. And to be fair, I tell every man I start dating about this... that I am not a phone person, I don't text a lot, etc. It's better to call me on my landline (yeah, I still have a landline. My cell... and other people's cells... only work in one room in my house... near the window... if the weather is good. lol)
And with the guy who texted me several times in one hour (and he called too I might add--left two voicemail messages), I did call him back as soon as I realized because he was pretty upset and angry by his last text that I was "ignoring him."
I liked him enough to date him, but we'd only been dating for three weeks by that point. We weren't a couple... just went out on a few dates. While there were things I liked about him (of course) and some things I didn't like (hey, no man will be "perfect" after all). The texting incident completely turned me off to him because it was just too needy and controlling for me that he couldn't accept that I was unavailable for an hour. I could see if I said I would meet him for a date and I didn't show up... or if we agreed to call each other and I didn't answer... but just on a random weekday evening, right after work and expecting me to be at his beck and call? Too much.
I think also what he's saying Jillabean is that when you know you like someone, that game playing isn't on your radar, whether you feel the other person likes you or you don't know. That's me as well. If I don't really care to hear from the person, they aren't really on my mind. I'll hear from them after 2-3 days and I reply, but then I go back to what I'm doing. They aren't on my mind to where I'm actually wondering how their day is. Sometimes I think that's truly how the game playing works. There's one person that's either unsure or knows it's not going to go somewhere, so that person becomes a bit of a placeholder.
I've been on more dates than I can count and I know the ones that I wanted to keep in touch with and the ones I could go a week without talking too and then text them on a Friday night because I'm bored. These were generally the ones that were into me more than I was into them and would send me long text and I would reply with one or two word responses.
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