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But the OP made this thread wondering if he's been too quick to move on, so he seems to have the regrets you don't. It's one thing not to feel a connection and move on after a date or two, but he does feel something for this woman. I wouldn't walk away from that so quickly, not without an honest conversation about what each of them would like out of this potential relationship.
Yes, from what he said about her, she doesn't sound like someone he needs to launch ASAP. But since he has doubts about her, it also doesn't sound like there's much of a connection at this point, though I know they haven't been seeing each other for long. If he feels excited about the prospect of seeing her again, I think he should stick with it for now.
Since you like her and you're feeling a connection, and she has been honest with you about recently getting out of a relaitonship, it would be very kind of you to continue moving at her pace instead of your own.
Maybe she is the kind of girl who has enough respect for herself not to sleep around with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Maybe she values herself as a human being and not a penis holder.
Maybe she is wondering if you are good enough for her.
20yrsinBranson
what?
what has having sex to do with a lack of self-respect?
I do feel like there's potential here. When we actually talk in person, I do feel a good connection. It's just that she seems a little more distant than what I'm used to. Most girls I've dated or been in relationships with text at least once a day. She doesn't really text me unless I text her first. There's been days with zero communication.
You are going on dates and sharing some good kisses. What are you hoping will have happened by now? Have you tried ramping it up during the kiss--making out? Or is she supposed to blow you in the car or what?
I'd be curious what kind of kissing.
If not straight up making out, are they sensual kisses? Or like kissing your grandma?
If the former, even if the kisses themselves are short, if there is some passion, if she's participating (in other words, she moves her lips, she participates, she "kisses back") then that's a good thing. Not necessarily tongue, although that always makes it more fun, but at least she seems "into it" when it happens.
If the latter...well...unless she's just a LOUSY kisser (I dated one of those - she was truly into me, just hated kissing and was like kissing a corpse) she probably isn't feeling it.
I didn't think it was about sex so much... what I was taking away is that the OP is initiating everything from dates to kisses to progressing the relationship and the woman he's dating is almost not participating. Maybe my impression was wrong, I don't know.
From previous posts, I think you're right.
I think the OP should continue on, for now. She might just be the more passive type, or holding back either because she likes the OP but is in a limbo stage, or really does still have a bit of hesitancy due to a past breakup.
I wouldn't throw her under the bus just yet, OP. Sounds like you have a slow but good start to things.
I'll add one other thing: From what I see from your posts, it's not as if you have 39 other women beating your door down, so why NOT continue seeing her if you indeed like her?
I don't mean you can't date others, but it's not as if there's a real reason not to continue seeing this one.
I'm not concerned with sleeping with her so soon. It's a culmination of everything though, that has left me doubtful during this whole deal.
I do feel like there's potential here. When we actually talk in person, I do feel a good connection. It's just that she seems a little more distant than what I'm used to. Most girls I've dated or been in relationships with text at least once a day. She doesn't really text me unless I text her first. There's been days with zero communication.
Almost. She did initiate one text last week to set up a movie date, which I thought was reassuring. But this week, there's been nothing initiated by her. I texted her on Tuesday and she responded. That was it. I saw her last night and we did talk a bit. Our conversations always seem to go well.
I agree with this. I guess this is just more of my own cynicism and trying to be realistic than anything. I think guys tend to do this more than women, but I'm not positive. I do think guys, from my observations, tend to believe that if the girl isn't all over you within a couple weeks, that she's not interested.
I'll admit, it is hard to tell sometimes, because everyone is so different.
I remember one girl I dated in college. I actually asked her a few times during dates if she was having fun (not saying this was the right approach), because she was so passive, so non-reactive, so "blah" to everything. She insists she was, but she was so boring. She could win the lottery and express it with all the emoiton of Steven Wright, it was infuriating, since I'm the more "animated" and expressive type.
She went along with things, and told me that the fact she was continuing to see me meant she liked me, but it's hard to have a raging desire for someone who can't express it back in a way that involves more than "not saying no" at least for me.
This girl you're seeing doesn't seem *that* bad compared to my example, and I'd give her a chance to warm up a bit more.
So, she's not needy and obsessively attached to her cell phone. Again, not a bad thing. But a bit of communication would clear this up for you so you're not guessing about why she's not texting, and she's not getting dumped, unaware that you'd like her to reach out to you more. She may simply be someone who prefers actual conversations because really, texts aren't a meaningful way to get to know someone, and not everyone enjoys the "hey! " messages.
Try to let go of what other girls do/have done and just appreciate her for who she is and your connection together.
The trip from "uninterested" to "intentionally aloof" to "clingy" is very short, it seems.
Each time we kiss, I try to take it a little further. The first one was a little peck, the last one lasted a solid 20 seconds or so. However, these usually take place after dates, and in public. So there's not been much of an opportunity for a steamy make-out session. She also seems a little averse to PDA.
After our last date, I invited her back to my place. She declined, and that's when she told me about getting out of the two year relationship recently.
I've found that women tend to start disliking PDA around their mid 20s - it's more a teen/college thing. This is a good and mature thing, by the way.
However, if you can't get her alone it can be frustrating. If anything, you might be a bit too fast for her then. Keep slowly escalating kissing, but wait a bit before asking her over to your place again (I don't mean months, but a few dates).
Each time we kiss, I try to take it a little further. The first one was a little peck, the last one lasted a solid 20 seconds or so. However, these usually take place after dates, and in public. So there's not been much of an opportunity for a steamy make-out session. She also seems a little averse to PDA.
After our last date, I invited her back to my place. She declined, and that's when she told me about getting out of the two year relationship recently.
This is hard to balance. Myself and lots of women I know can sometimes be hesitant to go back to a guys place unless we are prepared for sex. While it doesn't seem like the logical next step I know plenty of men who felt otherwise. Some were truly annoyed I wouldn't "put out". I don't know if there is any where you can go where there would be less people (trails) and she might feel comfortable being more affectionate.
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