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To me, "clingy" is 4, 5, 6 texts in a row with no response. Showing up at my work without me expecting it on a regular basis. Refusing to let me go out with friends.
Some guys act like "oh, she called me the day after our date. Clingy psycho!"
Really? I don't get people.
There's been girls who I've dated that left me with 20 missed calls some mornings. I've been down that road, and I don't want to go down it again.
Maybe she is the kind of girl who has enough respect for herself not to sleep around with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Maybe she values herself as a human being and not a penis holder.
Maybe she is wondering if you are good enough for her.
20yrsinBranson
This. You should respect a woman who doesn't want to hop in bed on the first date. Many men seem to have very contradictory attitudes about what they expect from women (not that women aren't also a study in contradiction). They hate it if a girl slept with their ex-boyfriends on the first date, thinking she's loose, but they expect the same thing and aren't patient if she doesn't do that. Give it a little time and see what happens.
This. You should respect a woman who doesn't want to hop in bed on the first date. Many men seem to have very contradictory attitudes about what they expect from women (not that women aren't also a study in contradiction). They hate it if a girl slept with their ex-boyfriends on the first date, thinking she's loose, but they expect the same thing and aren't patient if she doesn't do that. Give it a little time and see what happens.
You can always tell who reads through a thread to find out what's going on and those who catch a glimpse of one thing that catches their attention and they base their entire response off of that.
This is not about getting her into the sack. Period.
This. You should respect a woman who doesn't want to hop in bed on the first date. Many men seem to have very contradictory attitudes about what they expect from women (not that women aren't also a study in contradiction). They hate it if a girl slept with their ex-boyfriends on the first date, thinking she's loose, but they expect the same thing and aren't patient if she doesn't do that. Give it a little time and see what happens.
Basically it's this for most guys:
Even we men want to be at least a little "special" to her. Meaning, "she had sex with me because she wanted ME, not because I was the only d*ck in the room at the time".
However, no guy wants a frigid prude, either, and we like a woman who has some enthusiasm and appreciation for sex.
She's probably keeping the walls up a little for her own protection after the two year relationship ended. It could be shes a little timid and confused as to what your thinking as well. Also not everyone wears there heart on their sleeve and are a little reserved expressing their emotions. She's agreeing to dates and is receptive so the interest appears to be there, so just go with it.
It's one of those questions that time will answer. Relationships always move at the pace of the slower partner. I don't think you (the general you) need to take the pulse of the relationship every moment and need to know without any uncertainty exactly "where you stand" at all times.
Relax and try to enjoy NOT knowing. I find new relationships exciting for that reason, anyway.
This. You should respect a woman who doesn't want to hop in bed on the first date. Many men seem to have very contradictory attitudes about what they expect from women (not that women aren't also a study in contradiction). They hate it if a girl slept with their ex-boyfriends on the first date, thinking she's loose, but they expect the same thing and aren't patient if she doesn't do that. Give it a little time and see what happens.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
You can always tell who reads through a thread to find out what's going on and those who catch a glimpse of one thing that catches their attention and they base their entire response off of that.
This is not about getting her into the sack. Period.
OP is complaining about the fact that she isn't going fast enough for him so he can't tell if she wants him or not. I highly doubt he's referring to them going to basket weaving classes together.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,146,337 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
I know some people are quick to write others off, particularly as it pertains to dating. I've been guilty of this myself, and I wonder if it's been detrimental to my dating life. How many potential relationships could I have salvaged if I had just been a little more patient? I sort of follow this 1 to 2 strikes you're out policy. If you do something that even remotely smells, feels, or appears like you're not interested, I'm moving on. However, I've been trying to embrace a more understanding and patient philosophy in hopes that it will be beneficial in the long run.
Now I met a girl a few weeks back, and things have been moving along, albeit rather slowly. We communicate a few times a week. We've been on a few dates. However, she's not big on initiating things. I can't tell if it's because she's shy/reserved or if it's because she's not interested. I talked to her last week after a date and told her I was interested in her and how she felt about me. She also replied that she was interested in me as well, but she was moving slowly because she had gotten out of a two year relationship not long ago. Rest assured, right? Nope. Because I have a tendency to believe that sometimes people say things just to be nice and they don't want to hurt another person. So that's why I'm still feeling a little doubt.
She's a nice girl and I enjoy talking to her and I'm optimistic about the potential with her, but I feel like thus far we're lacking in the intimacy department (the very thing that makes a romantic relationship a romantic relationship). We've had a few nice kisses, but that's the extent of it. In the past, I probably would have called it a wrap by now for the simple fact that we don't seem to be on the same page and I don't like to waste my time. But like I said before, I'm trying to embrace this more understanding and patient philosophy.
Do you think I need to give this more time? Or am I being a chump by being "understanding and patient" with this girl?
I'm sorry, but - what is your goal here in all this? What is the nature of the relationship you two have?
At the dating stage if after 3 phone calls she doesn't call back I stop calling until she does. If she doesn't call back then that is where it ends.
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