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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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One other thing. The intro line is going to be a turn off to many of the vanilla / straight laced midwestern types. Coming from Boston to WI to Chicago... I found that sarcasm, even mild sarcasm, doesn't go over well with a big portion of the crowd... and the people there really love the Upper Midwest.
Warning, I am kind of blunt, you have been warned: 1. You are 25 y/o male. Dating can be tough for the average 25 y/o male. Internet dating can be brutal for the average 25 y/o male. 2. You are 5'7". And most women assume any guy that says they are 5'7" is really 5'5". 5'7" is less than average, being a 25 y/o male and being below average in height is Strike 2 the internet dating world. 3. You look a lot older than 25 in that pic, I'd guess 40, I can't be the only person to notice this.
And looking nerdy. I am 35 and look younger than the op. Also, I am 5'3" and I tend to dismiss guys that are 5'7" or shorter.
Honestly, I don't think OP would have a problem with getting responses if he was a 6'2" hunk. I thoroughly read his profile and, in my opinion, saw nothing wrong with it. You could suggest anything and his results will probably be the same. OLD is primarily based on looks.
OP: best you try to meet women out in the real world or at least, like some others have said, increase your age range a bit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
And looking nerdy. I am 35 and look younger than the op. Also, I am 5'3" and I tend to dismiss guys that are 5'7" or shorter.
I know this is just one example, but plenty of women share the same sentiments as this poster.
I can't honestly write anything about OLD that doesn't read as angry and somewhat bitter, and I can definitely say that I am at least a little of both, because I want to write a novel about the garbage I see, read and hear about OLD and none of it is going to be good.
What I can say about the guys like myself, who honestly do log onto a website and do read profiles fully, message women who they have some compatibility with including similar interests, and write nice messages to these profiles but go ignored, or maybe you only get 1 message back then nothing, it's not just you, it's a lot of guys who go through this crap, and there are some women who go through this too. I wouldn't call it a numbers game, I'd call it a OLD game, because you can at least get an answer out of the women you meet IRL, in OLD you just get completely ignored so you have no idea what to think.
Most women will eliminate a guy for the most cryptic reasons in OLD. Or they take a look at your picture and they aren't looking at whomever the current hot actor is right now, even if your profile obviously shows the similar interests. Literally I imagine a woman reading a guy who's average looking at best, reads his profile and thinks to herself "Well, he doesn't mention his distaste of cheese like I did, so we'll go on a dinner date and I'll order something and ask to not have cheese on it, and he'll order the alfredo, and then it'll just be awkward because he eats what I don't eat. Better wait for someone who is better looking and doesn't eat cheese, and also has all my interests too. While I'm at it, I should just update my profile to say that I basically want a clone of myself with a D instead of a V. That should clear everything up!"
Probably exaggerating slightly, but probably not too far off. Yes, that was supposed to be humorous at the end. People should try to laugh, and not throw a little tantrum because that isn't what you want to read.
Seriously. Dial it down a notch. You seem like a good guy (note how I didn't say "nice" guy). No need to try so hard. Also, why not ask her if she'd like to talk in your second email? Of course, this could be my age talking (47) but after a decent exchange like the two of you had, I would go for the phone call, and then for the drink.
Only change I would make to your text is to take out the smiley. Too puppy-dog.
Photos: AWESOME profile photo. I disagree with those who said your profile lacks sex appeal. That photo has some. It's the sunglasses and general feel of good health and the outdoors, like you're in your element. I like the fun picture at the Louvre, too.
On the flipside, I would swap out the 281 race photo for a night photo if you have one, something where you're out on the town. Also, the black-and-white, well, it makes you look a little bit stiff.
OKC-specific: That bar for "less trusting," it's a killer. I don't know how many young people or women actually look at the "personality" part of an OKC profile, but I do, and there are a few things I don't want to see: "less kind," "less compassionate," and "less trusting." I don't need to see "more" for those traits, but I don't want to see huge bars out on "less" either. With "less trusting," it makes me wonder if you're paranoid or I'm going to have to prove myself over and over again to you in earning your trust, as opposed to you giving me the benefit of the doubt. Too much work.
And looking nerdy. I am 35 and look younger than the op. Also, I am 5'3" and I tend to dismiss guys that are 5'7" or shorter.
OP, I would suggest that you consider the source when you take advice from people on here. The above poster has been exposed as a delusional "welfare queen" with a horrendous relationship track record (if you weren't already tipped off by the name). I would take anything such people say with a grain of salt. Funny how people enforce height restrictions but will date men who regularly abuse drugs or are newly released ex-cons
That said, I think you've gotten pretty good advice on marketing yourself a bit differently to appeal to a greater group of women.
All the best.
PS: Use sunscreen. At 25, your skin is already showing evidence of significant sun damage.
I wouldn't have your username contain the word "nerd" at all. I think it's a negative connotation and you're placing yourself in a category with that username that will automatically weed out potential matches. Personally, I wouldn't want to date a guy who hard-and-fast labels himself as a nerd. It's self-deprecating. Women want men with self-confidence.
I may post my profile on here one day. What I always hear is that women want a good story. Tell a good story in your profile. Personally, I don't know if it makes a difference for me just because of my age. A good story doesn't matter if my target age female (30-40) eliminates me because of age. BUT maybe there's something else I'm doing wrong. I'll post mine in a separate thread and hope people don't criticize too much. I know I rely way too much on OLD in part because of where I live and the lack of opportunity when I'm out. But then again, I've never been the charismatic guy who approaches in the gym, bar, grocery store, church (everyone's answer in Oklahoma), etc.
Your profile is just fine. I'd date you! You've gotten a lot of good tips...I agree that your first line in your profile sounds negative. And I really like your cleaned up photo, but....it isn't really cleaned up because you didn't shave! I have a gripe about stubble, no matter how carefully it is groomed.
I also relate to the comments about running. If a man is passionate about running marathons I wonder: Does he spend all his spare time training? Does he have time for me? Will he be expecting me to run with him? (some guys specifically say they want a running partner) Lots of guys who are very fit really expect a woman to be very fit.
THere is nothing in your profile that makes me think running is a negative, but there is nothing there to reassure me that it is not a negative.
BUt honestly, you could tweak that profile forever. Just keep shopping!
And try speed dating. It is a lot of fun! and it is a whole different experience because you get to be attracted to a person first, and learn more about them later. Sometimes with OLD we know too much before we even meet.
BTW< do NOT say you close down a hip club. That sound very fakey and not at all like you.
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