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Of course im gonna give her time.. what do u think are the chances?
How would we know? We're not mind-readers. What did you do during the breakup that she needs to get over? You know a lot more about the situation than we do.
The OP is emotionally distraught, in a jarring and irksome predicament. While awaiting one's fate, so to speak, any additional moment feels interminable, and even a normally patient nature will become impulsive and will crave affirmation.
I'm no psychologist, and certainly no clairvoyant, but it seems to me that "give me time" is a euphemism for "our relationship offered many enjoyable things, but ultimately wasn't what I sought. You, my former partner, are definitely hurt; and I'm not entirely composed either. But if you 'give me time', I'll come to terms with my own decision to split, and will offer you a more definitive explanation in turn."
Not wishing to presently be in a relationship, is another way of stating that one hasn't found a suitable partner. If genuine affection forms and endures, then the question of being or not being in a relationship, is rendered utterly moot. We don't know what mistake or infraction the OP committed, but my impression is that this mistake was merely the catalyst for ending a relationship that would have ended anyway, but perhaps not so suddenly. If the OP's former girlfriend is unsure whether relationships in the abstract are worthwhile, then likely that's because of her regrets and unpleasant sensations in her relationship with the OP. But realizing that the blame isn't wholly his, she sublimates her own guilt in a claim of renouncing relationships in general.
OP - I can offer [virtual] commiseration, but no solution.
Look I did something stupid(regretting it ever since..definitaly not me) which resulted in the break up. So yesterday(a month after the brakup) told her i want to be together again and she said I mean a lot to her and she really likes me.. so i said you wanna try once more... and she said that she needs a little time to think.. i told her if she wants me not to text her again and she refused. So im saying should i text her or let her miss me and think alone?
The OP is emotionally distraught, in a jarring and irksome predicament. While awaiting one's fate, so to speak, any additional moment feels interminable, and even a normally patient nature will become impulsive and will crave affirmation.
I'm no psychologist, and certainly no clairvoyant, but it seems to me that "give me time" is a euphemism for "our relationship offered many enjoyable things, but ultimately wasn't what I sought. You, my former partner, are definitely hurt; and I'm not entirely composed either. But if you 'give me time', I'll come to terms with my own decision to split, and will offer you a more definitive explanation in turn."
Not wishing to presently be in a relationship, is another way of stating that one hasn't found a suitable partner. If genuine affection forms and endures, then the question of being or not being in a relationship, is rendered utterly moot. We don't know what mistake or infraction the OP committed, but my impression is that this mistake was merely the catalyst for ending a relationship that would have ended anyway, but perhaps not so suddenly. If the OP's former girlfriend is unsure whether relationships in the abstract are worthwhile, then likely that's because of her regrets and unpleasant sensations in her relationship with the OP. But realizing that the blame isn't wholly his, she sublimates her own guilt in a claim of renouncing relationships in general.
OP - I can offer [virtual] commiseration, but no solution.
my mistake was the ONLY negative ever in our relationship.. SURE about it
Look I did something stupid(regretting it ever since..definitaly not me) which resulted in the break up. So yesterday(a month after the brakup) told her i want to be together again and she said I mean a lot to her and she really likes me.. so i said you wanna try once more... and she said that she needs a little time to think.. i told her if she wants me not to text her again and she refused. So im saying should i text her or let her miss me and think alone?
Let her think alone, and get to a space where she realizes she misses you. (IF she gets there...) Did you tell her you screwed up majorly when you did that stupid thing?
Good luck, man. Sounds iffy. But maybe she'll come around.
Let her think alone, and get to a space where she realizes she misses you. (IF she gets there...) Did you tell her you screwed up majorly when you did that stupid thing?
Right. She wants her space. If you text, you'll look like you're groveling. Not a good look for a dude. You already told her you want to get back together, she got the message. She knows the ball's in her court. Give her a couple of weeks to see if she lobs it back into yours.
No offense but just because that was your case does it applies to everyone?
None taken, I was just sharing my experience with this subject. She told me she wanted time, I called her BS, told her it was all or nothing so I got nothing. It crushed me but I made it through thanks to my friends and family. It worked out in the end.
Good luck man. How long were you together? We were together for 2 years and I thought we'd get married. I was 20.
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