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Sorry, but that's what leagues are about. They are about looks, nothing else.
That's human biology. We will never get past it.
If you are honest with yourself: do you really want ugly people to reproduce? Ugly people make ugly children and this makes me sad. Do I want to be sad all the time I go out and see those ugly little kids? No.
It's not only looks. The cheerleaders in my high school were attractive, but not that attractive. What made them hot, was the "cheerleader" effect.
For me intelligence is part of "leagues". I was much more likely to turn a guy down if I felt they weren't that smart. I actually quit dating one guy because he was so much smarter than I was. He always wanted to talk about Physics and other things that hole very little interest to me.
To get my rocks off, they have to be intellectually inclined and have the ability to critically think. I think that's why I find it so difficult to find someone that I consider to be a good match.
I kid, I kid. But intelligence is a big factor for me.
I think women do the same... maybe most women don't use the sports metaphor of "leagues" but sometimes I know I see a man and think he's either too good looking, too rich, doesn't have the same interests, too serious, or whatever that he wouldn't really be a good match for me. It's not just looks, it's just a mismatch and it's usually more than one thing or enough little differences that I don't consider it.
I have to ask, do men really only consider looks when they think of leagues? Would a man think a woman who was (for the sake of argument) a multi millionaire (if he's a minimum wage worker) be "out of his league?" Or what about a woman who is very social and popular--maybe a leader in the community--when he's more quiet and reserved man. Would he look at her and think, "it wouldn't work." (which is the same as, "out of my league)? Isn't that what men are saying when a woman is really good looking? That she's so good looking compared to me that it wouldn't work?
I could be wrong, but I really don't get the feeling "leagues" is just about looks.
It's almost entirely about looks; however, educational ataintment, personal income, or athleticism, can be part of the equation, too. It's not so much a feeling of "I'm not good enough for her" as it is "She probably doesn't think I'm good enough for her." Women want guys who are at or above their achievement level and physical attractiveness.
I think the two fundamentals for attraction are happiness and health. True health leads to a fit look and intelligence. Happiness is just our catch all for everything else. At intro if these are all someone sees they can only assume everything else is great, no baggage, successful, fun, etc.
To be totally honest I wouldn't date a guy who looks like an Abercrombie model with perfect six pack abs. I think I'm pretty, but I'm not super model gorgeous. I would likely be insecure dating someone I viewed as a lot better looking than I am. Looks do matter, but not always. My ex husband cheated on me and is now married to a woman who does actually make me look like a gorgeous super model in comparison! She's over weight and not pretty at all, so you just never know what someone else finds attractive. I think some people like to date people they feel are less attractive than them because it makes them feel more secure.
To be totally honest I wouldn't date a guy who looks like an Abercrombie model with perfect six pack abs. I think I'm pretty, but I'm not super model gorgeous. I would likely be insecure dating someone I viewed as a lot better looking than I am. Looks do matter, but not always. My ex husband cheated on me and is now married to a woman who does actually make me look like a gorgeous super model in comparison! She's over weight and not pretty at all, so you just never know what someone else finds attractive. I think some people like to date people they feel are less attractive than them because it makes them feel more secure.
I remember a girl I had a huge crush on once met my ex-girlfriend (lived in the same building as me, ugh), she told her friend I could do better(this girl was definitely better looking then my ex, perfect in my eyes actually). That was the first clue for me that women do judge and have a sense of "leagues", and that they are physical based. Also one of only a few clues I've gotten in my life that I'm not bad looking.
But I have felt self conscious around guys I found attractive. Mine is more associated with being a burden on someone. I also base it on personality as well, if he is being loud, and is way more social, then I would probably be too boring for him. I feel either I am too plain, too shy, too boring, or just not qualified hahaha especially if he is really successful and an all around good guy. I feel like I would hold him back.
To be totally honest I wouldn't date a guy who looks like an Abercrombie model with perfect six pack abs. I think I'm pretty, but I'm not super model gorgeous. I would likely be insecure dating someone I viewed as a lot better looking than I am. Looks do matter, but not always. My ex husband cheated on me and is now married to a woman who does actually make me look like a gorgeous super model in comparison! She's over weight and not pretty at all, so you just never know what someone else finds attractive. I think some people like to date people they feel are less attractive than them because it makes them feel more secure.
I agree with you. I don't like guys who are super pretty..it actually kind of turns me off. I don't want to be with a man who likes exchanging hair care and skin care tips with me. That's just me.
Happens all the time. Very beautiful = Stammered communication in my opinion, unless she initiates first.
A bit of compromise in beauty with shyness when I speak brings out my best qualities.
And most good looking girls (in my eyes) are either with someone already or have had sex with someone else.
Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 10-21-2014 at 11:11 AM..
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