When you break up with a lover do you sit them down? (2014, problems)
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For the breakup with me it has to be in person and look me in the eye. No phone call. No email. No third hand. In person so that you get to see, relish and enjoy the experience.
I never got dumped in a relationship but I would prefer to hear why if it ever happens. I can only change and learn from mistakes if I am aware of it, right? Otherwise I always wonder what I did wrong.
On the non romantic relationships board, I discussed how many people use the passive aggressive approach to ending relationships with best friends. They just make an effort to send them a message they are no longer interested in friendship anymore by slowly or suddenly eliminating contact. I said this might be fine for casual buddies but not best friends. I prefer a direct conversation.
How about lovers you are breaking it off with? Is the new approach the passive aggressive approach, with a sudden breakoff of contact, without saying why, or a plan to send them a message by being really slow at returning phone calls, texts or emails, or claiming you were busy even if you are not. Or maybe breaking it off with a simple text or email. Or a phone message when you know that they are not going to answer the phone.
How do you break it off with lovers and why is it different than breaking off relationships with best friends?
It depends on the person and the situation. I have broken it off in person with some and I've dropped others with no notice. I don't treat any other relationship any differently.
I think once you slept with somebody and the other person assumed you are having a relationship, you owe a personal talk if you break it off. Out of respect.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
I think once you slept with somebody and the other person assumed you are having a relationship, you owe a personal talk if you break it off. Out of respect.
I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I don't need someone to sit down and have a conversation with me about why they are breaking things off. Text me, e-mail me, call me and say "it's not working out, I'm done"...that is more than enough for me. If they are done, then I am done.
You either want to be with me, or you don't. If you don't, there is no need to sit me down and explain why.
I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I don't need someone to sit down and have a conversation with me about why they are breaking things off. Text me, e-mail me, call me and say "it's not working out, I'm done"...that is more than enough for me. If they are done, then I am done.
You either want to be with me, or you don't. If you don't, there is no need to sit me down and explain why.
Right. If she doesn't want me what makes her think that I would want anything to do with her ever again? The thing she remembers is that it was her choice, not mine. People are entitled to make incredibly stupid decisions. Not my fault or problem.
passive aggressive is the only way to go.
you are took good for me, you deserve better
you are a goddess and i am nothing
(that is why i am putting you in the goddess trash can)
On the non romantic relationships board, I discussed how many people use the passive aggressive approach to ending relationships with best friends. They just make an effort to send them a message they are no longer interested in friendship anymore by slowly or suddenly eliminating contact. I said this might be fine for casual buddies but not best friends. I prefer a direct conversation.
How about lovers you are breaking it off with? Is the new approach the passive aggressive approach, with a sudden breakoff of contact, without saying why, or a plan to send them a message by being really slow at returning phone calls, texts or emails, or claiming you were busy even if you are not. Or maybe breaking it off with a simple text or email. Or a phone message when you know that they are not going to answer the phone.
How do you break it off with lovers and why is it different than breaking off relationships with best friends?
When my ex and I broke up, we had a long walk on the beach and he told me, "I know what you are going to say, but I still don't want to hear it. Since we are going our separate ways, I wish you well. I am not going to date for a while" I never looked him in the face because I knew I would have changed my mind.
We had a great relationship and he was one of the few men I have truly loved. We broke up because circumstances beyond our control. I think I owe him at least a face to face conversation.
I still think about him from time to time and we are still very good friends. I don't hate anybody I dated, if I bad mouth all the guys I've dated, what does it say about me? I would like to believe I am not that bad judge of character. I try to distant myself if I knew the relationship was not going anywhere, hoping he could end it because I always had troubles saying no. I would prefer a very civil break up, text, phone call, face to face, doesn't matter, as long as it is civil. I don't need drama especially after the person is gone. Sheesh.
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