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Like others have said, everyone has strengths and weakness in the "smarts" department and there are so many facets to intelligence, how can a person "really" tell who is "smarter" than whom.
Albert Einstein said it best, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Very true. For me, intelligence is absolutely essential in a man. An active mind, a desire to know about the world and other people and to continue to learn. A man who's open-minded, astute, and as Jrz said, has practical skills and common sense.
But, unlike when I was in my 20s, it is no longer essential that a man has a university education. It's not important at all, actually.
I hope you don't it against them lol considering they set aside a portion of their life to learn a skill instead of just focusing on their social / women skills.
This is not bragging, but I have a high IQ, and my sister says I'm "Jeopardy smart". I graduated college with a 4.0 gpa, taking courses like trig, physics, and programming/designing digital logic circuits.
I work as an engineer for a cellular phone company running a large geographic area.
Its damned near impossible to find someone as smart as me, if not smarter. So yeah, I date below my intelligence level. That isn't to say everyone else is dumb, I find that there is wisdom in the most idiotic person, you just have to find it. Pearls of wisdom in a pile of crap, but thats life.
It boils down to if the person you're pursuing has substance or not. You can date someone who's very book smart, but has no relatable substance to real life. My high school Valedictorian was this way. I graduated in a class of about 500 by the way to judge scale. This person was super intelligent, but when it came to lifes hiccups he failed miserably. Now, he's a 30 year old pizza delivery driver that never graduated college. Not that graduating college is any feat, but you expect your Valedictorian to go on and do great things.
A college degree doesn't define the person, but it does say something about the person. They have the ability to commit to something over a period of time that's not state mandated.
My area I've always preferred college degree people, because most of them could mingle well with my thought proceess. My area is also pretty typical of that in my age demographic. The ones pursuing college have more direction than the ones that aren't. That carries on into adulthood and you can start seeing the degrees of separation between the people attending college and the ones that aren't.
Do you think it's possible to be in a relationship with someone who isn't in par with you intellectually? Someone you couldn't have a profound intellectual conversation with? They are not book smart, they are not voracious bookworms. But they have a high level of common sense and they are emotionally/street smart. Would you be in a relationship with them/marry them?
I'd marry someone who can empathize with me.. but I guess that falls under emotional intelligence.
Do I want to marry someone I can share deep profound intellectual conversations with? IDK.. I never met a guy like that.. Actually, I did twice. One was waaay too argumentative in debate, and the other one? He was always high off his head and I suspect a total player.
I think street smarts and book smarts are a great combination to have. I like well-rounded people.
Do we need to sit around and talk like we are in a uni lecture hall all day? Nah.
Just as long as we click and "get it." (You know how some people just get you and you get them? You don't have to say too many words, you just do and understand each other very well). Similar intelligence is preferable, not necessarily the same is what I prefer. And, I dig someone who's intelligent but humble.
My husband and I are smart in different ways. I like that. I couldn't be with someone who was dumb as a box of rocks or couldn't keep up with my fast paced thought processes - but I don't need them to be smart in the same way that I am. I'm book smart - my husband is practical smart. Let me put it this way - I read like a fiend and have a large vocabulary - but if my husband and I got lost separately in the woods somewhere - I'd die and he'd build himself a house with running water.
I hope you don't it against them lol considering they set aside a portion of their life to learn a skill instead of just focusing on their social / women skills.
No, of course not. I'm well-educated, so I can appreciate that portion of their lives they set aside to learn a set of skills. As others have said, though, there are different kinds of intelligence, and I've learned to appreciate those just as well. Moreover, there are other qualities in a man I consider FAR more important than his possession of college degrees.
I now think of the higher education of a (potential) partner as more like icing on the cake. Nice to have, but not at all necessary.
I with the poster who says "define smart". My lady is not as well read as I, but her mind is a steel trap. Street smart? Yes. We both are. Neither of us have a college background that could be considered as qualification to be "academics". Yet, the latter types can have severe trouble debating either of us on various subjects.
She also suffered a traumatic brain injury when she was young. Sometimes I have to finish sentences for her, which is annoying for many, but with us, she asks for me to. Its part of our conversational relationship. Her train of thought slips, so I help her to regain it.
Obviously, a PhD type would not wish to enter a relationship with someone with an 80 IQ, unless they are some type of sick control freak. But, so called "normal" relationships ALL make allowances for intellectual differences. Good ones blend and make a formidable team.
I have had that same experience, which is why I don't practice in my field anymore. I fell down an escalator 11 years ago and have lifelong problems with seizures and migraines. It has also affected my short term memory and concentration. My gf is very patient and understanding. She understands that I forget things repeatedly, but I'm not stupid. So she reminds me of things over and over again and tries to be patient with this. I am very dependent on notes, my Google Calendar, alarms, text messenging myself all sorts of lists, etc.
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