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I agree with this. it's something underestimated by many. "Oh, if you haven't done it, or gone through it, you don't know." But sometimes, observing and seeing what others go through can help you learn some things you may want to avoid, watch for, that you may want to try, etc.
My father is great, but he has serious flaws, so he's not the kind of man I would date. He thinks he knows everything-thus you can't tell him anything, is a bit of a mooch, cheap, stubborn, obnoxious, and a drunk. All of this isn't bad, as in he's a bad person. he's just immature and stupid. So, when I start to see hints of this in any guy I am dating, I am probably gonna be gone soon after. I got enough of that with him.
So, I would love to be married, but to the right person. I am not soured on marriage. I just need to be careful of following in my parents' footsteps. My brother and his fiance already look like Mom + Dad 2.0-my brother taking after his father, which I told my mother. She laughed.
I agree. especially the bolded. Honestly, If I can marry somebody like my dad or my brothers, I would be a happy woman for the rest of my life.
I lost my great love to suicide, my other great love had a genetic illness. I also loved two other men and things didn't work but I had absolutely no regrets.
I will never marry somebody like my ex brother in law. My grandfather, well, I love him. He was a charming, amazingly talented artist, but he had issues and was not a family man.
I agree. especially the bolded. Honestly, If I can marry somebody like my dad or my brothers, I would be a happy woman for the rest of my life.
I lost my great love to suicide, my other great love had a genetic illness. I also loved two other men and things didn't work but I had absolutely no regrets.
I will never marry somebody like my ex brother in law. My grandfather, well, I love him. He was a charming, amazingly talented artist, but he had issues and was not a family man.
Sorry for your losses. But good you have no regrets, and experience with what you want, or may be willing to try. The tricky part is finding it, which I think is why many may chose career, because dating is kind of a luck thing. But a career you can get if you are resolved and disciplined to get it.
Sorry for your losses. But good you have no regrets, and experience with what you want, or may be willing to try. The tricky part is finding it, which I think is why many may chose career, because dating is kind of a luck thing. But a career you can get if you are resolved and disciplined to get it.
yeah. Lost somebody to suicide is an experience I don't wish on my worst enemy. But I realized that now that If I can survive a loved one's suicide, I can make it on my own. I no longer believe in "I cannot live without you." It is not like I am bitter, it is the total opposite, I realized now that I can always love him from far away. He will always cheer me up from far away. He would always want me to be happy.
I saw how miserable my grandmother was, I decided to never marry a cheating man. I know what kind of men to avoid.
I saw how miserable my sister was. I decided to NEVER marry an ugly man (ugly men are safer in my sister's mind, look at what she got herself into).
I think you learn from other people's mistakes and know exactly what kind of men or women to avoid.
Thank you!!!
That's what I try to tell people when they try to tell me what I should do in terms of relationships. It is possible to know and understand things without actually experiencing it. Some experiences could get you killed, though this is not that extreme. Just giving an example.
That's what I try to tell people when they try to tell me what I should do in terms of relationships. It is possible to know and understand things without actually experiencing it. Some experiences could get you killed, though this is not that extreme. Just giving an example.
Spouse for me because people matter more to me than a career. For me, a career is just a way to pay the bills so I can live life and eventually retire. As the saying goes, on their death bed, people rarely think, "If only I worked a little more."
I think alot of people are excited for a potential new journey. If your on your death bed there is no reason to really care about what is going on around you but to get mentally prepared for whatever is next.
The unmarried guys far outweigh the married ones here. I'm not surprised. Note what the married ones answered.
I answered the question based on great spouse/ordinary career vs. great career/ordinary spouse. I have an ordinary career. It doesn't fill me with joy, but it's not bad and it pays the bills. Much better to endure a so-so job until retirement than a so-so husband the rest of my life.
That was the intent of the question. Greatspouse/ordinary career vs great career/ordinary spouse. Not meaning all or nothing, one or the other.
For men a lot of our identity comes from our careers so it doesn't surprise me that more men then women said a career was more important to them. In the end I think it is harder to find a great spouse then to get a great career.
Another twist to this question or how it could be worded differently is would you accept a big promotion or a great new job if it would mean moving away from your current BF/GF (and he/she wouldn't follow for whatever reason) whom you had a very promising relationship with?
Unless someone is like the Pope or Mother Theresa, I personally have to wonder about anyone who would choose a career over a great spouse.
I used to think that way until I fell in love.
Marriage isn't for everyone.
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