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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
We never had a full-fledged make-out session, but the kisses that we did share got better over time I thought. Definitely became more passionate.
Ok, there is something wrong here. Should be hot and heavy by then and really, if the situation was right (real chemistry on both sides) you should have to be working at trying NOT to sleep together by date three (if for some reason you didn't want to).
Ok, there is something wrong here. Should be hot and heavy by then and really, if the situation was right (real chemistry on both sides) you should have to be working at trying NOT to sleep together by date three (if for some reason you didn't want to).
Obviously. I've already discussed that issue in full on this forum. That's why I'm not really pursuing her anymore. It was certainly strange, because she came out to my birthday get together this weekend despite not hearing from her for an entire week.
She's the one who told me she had just gotten out of a relationship of two years, hence her hesitancy to start something new.
This is what I'm trying to figure out. What am I not bringing to the table? It's funny. Before my last date that ended up not working out, I stopped at a bar to catch a little of a football game and kill some time. There was a young couple next to me and they were talking about their financial woes. The guy was talking about dumping a bunch of money into his car and not being able to afford to drive it. It also sounded like he was a paycheck-to-paycheck guy. And yet, despite being in somewhat of a financial mess, he had a girlfriend right there next to him (at least I'm assuming it was his GF by the way they were talking). What is it that someone like that has that I don't? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm missing that edge, apparently, to keep the woman attracted to me beyond the first date.
He doesn't have anything you don't have, and he doesn't have a lot that you do have. You're looking at this wrong. He has a gf bc he's not looking for women on your level. He's happy with women on his level. You don't know anything about his gf. If she's ok with a paycheck-to-paycheck guy, she may have money issues herself. Or lower self-esteem than what you're aiming for. You don't know anything about those two, so don't compare yourself to them. You'll sabotage yourself that way. Stay positive, or you'll start coming across needy. You'll talk yourself into depression if you're not careful.
edit: She came to your b-day this weekend? That's a good sign. It means, at least, that she wasn't lying about being interested, but needing time to get past her last relationship. Weren't you happy to see her? You sound defeated instead of pleasantly surprised and maybe a little hopeful.
edit: She came to your b-day this weekend? That's a good sign. It means, at least, that she wasn't lying about being interested, but needing time to get past her last relationship. Weren't you happy to see her? You sound defeated instead of pleasantly surprised and maybe a little hopeful.
Yeah, I was really excited to see her. She texted me earlier in the day, too, to tell me happy birthday and that she'll see me later that night. It was a good feeling for sure.
But then things like what happened yesterday happen. I texted her after our home football team won their game and she never responded.
Like I said, she's wishy-washy and sending mixed signals. That's why my interest in her is quickly fading.
I do look them in the eye. Eye contact is big for me and it's something I've been making myself more aware of in the last few years. Mostly for my professionally life, but it still applies to all other aspects in life.
I've also been trying to be more aware of my listening ability. I listen to what they say and only speak up after they're finished speaking.
I'll have to check into good male body language. As far as I know, I have pretty good posture and don't come across as super awkward (I've seen this from guys, so I'm pretty sure I know what that's about).
90% of communication is unspoken. Body language is more important than what you say, especially with women. Have you ever seen the movie Ocean's 11 with Brad Pitt and George Clooney? Watch Pitt's and Clooney's body language in that film. That's what you aiming for.
Yeah, I was really excited to see her. She texted me earlier in the day, too, to tell me happy birthday and that she'll see me later that night. It was a good feeling for sure.
But then things like what happened yesterday happen. I texted her after our home football team won their game and she never responded.
Like I said, she's wishy-washy and sending mixed signals. That's why my interest in her is quickly fading.
Have you expressed your interest in finding a relationship, or are you trying the "lets be friends for a while and date" approach?
If you said "Friends first" then texting her should be like texting a guy friend. You may, or may not, get a response. If you told her you are interested in a long term relationship, then she may be wanting to take things slower than you.
Yeah, I was really excited to see her. She texted me earlier in the day, too, to tell me happy birthday and that she'll see me later that night. It was a good feeling for sure.
But then things like what happened yesterday happen. I texted her after our home football team won their game and she never responded.
Like I said, she's wishy-washy and sending mixed signals. That's why my interest in her is quickly fading.
If she is sending mixed signals, most likely you are just an option for her. If she is truly interested, you'll know. Here is a very good post that goes into this in detail. I'd also recommend this guys blog. It's a little cynical, so do take his stuff with a grain of salt. However, I believe many of his points are valid.
Have you expressed your interest in finding a relationship, or are you trying the "lets be friends for a while and date" approach?
If you said "Friends first" then texting her should be like texting a guy friend. You may, or may not, get a response. If you told her you are interested in a long term relationship, then she may be wanting to take things slower than you.
Oh, she knows. I've made my intentions very clear to her.
Oh, she knows. I've made my intentions very clear to her.
What I always found was the best response when discussing what you are looking for is...
"Well, to be honest, I don't mind being single but I always enjoy being in a relationship because I'm happiest when I can make someone else happy as well. I just want to make sure it's the right person so I'm not with someone who I know I don't truly want to be with in the long run, while the right person passes me by"
I feel like that's the most fail safe answer.. It shows that you're totally ok being single, not desperate, but would really like a relationship, with the right person. You don't want to play off that you "love being single" too much, as an idea to not seem desperate, because it could give the idea that you are afraid of relationships and don't want to date. And on the other hand, it shows that you really want a relationship and you enjoy making someone else happy, because, and let's be honest.. who could have something negative to say about that?
Oh, she knows. I've made my intentions very clear to her.
Are you sure you have? Last week (or so) you didn't communicate about how you felt about her not initiating contact, did you?
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