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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne
Oh, you're one of those guys who thinks women "shoo men away on a daily basis". Okay then.
Well, if you're screen name is a moniker, we're in adjacent cities. I live in Somerville. And honestly, I can't go out anywhere around here with a female friend or date, not Davis, Union or Porter, or Kendall or wherever... and not have them hit on while we're out. Usually multiple times.
Oh, you're one of those guys who thinks women "shoo men away on a daily basis". Okay then.
Some actually do, but not all. Have you not paid any attention to the threads on here where women admittedly say they get 10s or 100s of messages a week on OLD sites? Yeah, maybe they're not all prize winners, but think of it like having hundreds of employers trying to recruit you for their jobs. That would be a nice situation, right?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Which may entail meeting a (vast) number of people. How do you fail to grasp this concept? It's so elementary.
Because that isn't how it works. Its about targeting the right place, time and situations or settings. Not mass meetings of randoms.
That would be as effective as finding a job by just sending out thousands of resumes to whoever and wherever. Could it work? Sure. Is it a colossal misuse of time and energy? Absolutely.
Consider the alternative: not being chased after or pursued at all.
At least they have a number of options. And since it's all a numbers game, it works to their advantage anyway.
I have been both in my life... ignored and "hounded" (or at least pursued by overly aggressive guys I had no interest in). To me, they were equally bad for different reasons and I wouldn't wish either on anyone. It's like asking would you rather be dunked in boiling water and have your skin cooked off or dropped into the Arctic Sea and freeze to death. Both are bad and neither is "better" than the other.
A happy medium is someone in between. You meet people and while most don't work out, a few do. You aren't invisible and sad/lonely and you aren't stalked and scared/defensive either.
Because that isn't how it works. Its about targeting the right place, time and situations or settings. Not mass meetings of randoms.
That would be as effective as finding a job by just sending out thousands of resumes to whoever and wherever. Could it work? Sure. Is it a colossal misuse of time and energy? Absolutely.
I think this is very wise. And it shows the two basic strategies you see men mention... the spamming everyone approach and the focused approach. I agree with Timberline that the focused approach is a better use of time and energy (and more likely to pay off).
How many guys are shooing women away? Almost none. I never have. It doesn't work like that. That's ok, because it isn't about meeting random people. Not having people approach you because you're hot or whatever has nothing to do with dating success.
Outside of the top 10%, probably not many. But that's my point. As a guy, you can have a lot going for you and still not be successful with dating (that depends on how you define success, of course). Most average women that I know get pursued pretty steadily. I would love, love, love to live in that world.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Outside of the top 10%, probably not many. But that's my point. As a guy, you can have a lot going for you and still not be successful with dating (that depends on how you define success, of course). Most average women that I know get pursued pretty steadily. I would love, love, love to live in that world.
The grass is always greener. I'd like to try that world for a little as well.
But I don't think it has any impact on dating success that some random people don't hit on me.
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