When do you go exclusive? (date, interested, relations, reason)
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Like I said I don't have much dating experience. I only had 2 relationships in the past and both went exclusive after holding hands. So I don't know what is the new dating world rule. Is this guy's behavior normal? when should 2 people date be exclusive? After sex? after become gf/bf?
There is no rule. No two people and/or situation is the same. There is certainly nothing abnormal or unethical about dating more than one person at a time, provided you are not dishonest about it.
Honestly you cannot expect someone to go exclusive until you have at least had sex once, just my opinion of course. But no WAY I do that until we've had sex.
There is no rule. No two people and/or situation is the same. There is certainly nothing abnormal or unethical about dating more than one person at a time, provided you are not dishonest about it.
I agree with this. OP, you also need to clarify what you mean by seeing him active on the dating website. this could just mean that he logged in to read a message someone sent him. Or he could be seeing other people. You won't know until you discuss this with him instead of a bunch of strangers on the internet.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosco55David
Your advice pretty much sucks all around.
Here's a novel idea. Why not advise the OP to have an honest and frank discussion with the man and see where he stands on the issue? For all we know, he may be ready to make things official himself, and you're telling the OP to cut bait.
This. Until you have the discussion, there is no exclusivity.
Just talk to each other. It is really damn simple.
You expect to be exclusive already? Sorry, I never did things that way, and I really am more of a "one woman kind of guy." But relationships take awhile to build. Maybe you could start by saying, "I'm not going to be dating anyone else or even looking as long as I'm dating you". But get real. Even in HS, going "steady" is a big deal, not something that happens right away in most cases.
If it's bothering you, you need to move on. He obviously is.
And, there are no rules. Only rule is what makes you happy/confident/comfortable.
Why settle for less than what you want?
I've known some guys who after our first date, were very serious and didn't play around.
You need not to worry what "other people are doing." Don't degrade yourself!
Play by your own rules!
:co nfused:
That's rough.
I would have the "exclusivity talk" with him. And I would tell him, IF he is still on dating sites (I wouldn't reveal that I know), he should please take his profile down.
If he doesn't do it within the next weeks, THEN I would question his intentions with you.
I feel like this is one of the hardest things about dating. You want to be exclusive, but you don't want to look desperate or needy by bringing it up. I've been there. If after 5 or 6 dates I really like someone, then I would like to be exclusive. I would like to know we are giving each other a real chance to get to know each other without having to worry that the person is going on dates with 3 other people besides me. I think sometimes people assume exclusivity, but I think until you actually have the talk and agree to be exclusive, it's better not to assume anything.
You can wait for him to bring it up, you can bring it up, or you can choose to stop seeing him.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Generally for me the exclusive conversation seems to mostly come up when we're discussing STDs/ testing /birth control, etc and whether we're sleeping with other people and if we are going to likely keep sleeping with other people comes into play. Sometimes we agree to stop doing that and become exclusive, sometimes not. But, it gets clearly and unambiguously discussed at that point.
So me and my date had 5th dates, we didn't have sex but did pretty much everything else.
However I still see him being active on the dating site where we met.
I don't have much dating experience but from the past relationship I had, My ex and I were both the " date-one-person-at-a-time" type. Just to give the current date respect and focus until we figure out whether we go next step or just break it.
I feel slightly disrespected that he's still active. Any thoughts?
5 dates over what time period? You are still signing on the site too. Does he see that you are signing on? I find with OLD that if a person is still on the site, that person is still seeking other dates. There is nothing wrong with that if being exclusive has not been discussed. I see dating as one stage at the tine. Dating for something to do could mean several dates with the same person as well as with other people. There is no commitment. Dating because it is '"you" would be the exclusive discussion stage. If he has not discussed being exclusive, you have no right to feel disrespected because he is still active. As someone else suggested, stating that you are off the site will open the discussion.
There is no rule. No two people and/or situation is the same. There is certainly nothing abnormal or unethical about dating more than one person at a time, provided you are not dishonest about it.
You would have to be crazy TO be honest about it.
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