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I was emotionally closer to her than pretty much everyone i know IRL. I talked to her on the phone nearly every week and in the chat more or less every day, I saw videos of her talking, etc. Yes I do have "real life" friends but I don't feel anything in the same for them as this girl.
No I really like this girl, she's beautiful and we have a lot in common or so I thought at least. I'm almost 25 and have never been on a proper date.
Getting a crush on a stranger isn't the way to go about it.
I've been talking to this girl on Facebook and on the phone for about a year and a half who lives across the country and I have had strong feelings for her, but she is in a relationship. We were good friends but lately she's kept her distance from me, not answered my texts and messages all the time like she used to and I confronted her about it and she admits she wants to keep a distance out of respect for her boyfriend. She said we shouldn't talk on the phone anymore and that she doesn't want me to fly out there and visit her now. I was planning to next summer and she wanted me to but I guess she's changed her mind.
I thought I could deal with just being friends and for a while I could but the last straw for me was she said she would call me this weekend and she never bothered to. I feel like she's neglecting our friendship because she is singularly devoted to her boyfriend. I do understand that the fact i have romantic feelings for her makes things sort of awkward, so I told her maybe in a few years we can be friends again if she wants but right now it's probably just best we don't talk.
I feel absolutely terrible but I think it's what she really wants and as painful as it is it's probably what I need because I don't think I'm going to stop wanting to be more than friends with her. Do you think my disappointment with her is unreasonable and did I do the right thing unfriending her on facebook and saying we shouldn't talk anymore?
You did the right thing. Try to look at the situation objectively for 1 minute and the answer is to just let her go.
That can be painful. You've invested yourself emotionally in this person, and she didn't take the time to call you back when she said she would. I don't mean to be a downer (I've been through something similar recently)…when a "friend" forgets to get in touch with you, it's bcs you are not the first thing on their minds. If she had those kinds of feeling for you, she would go through hell or high water to get in touch with you.
The boyfriend piece of the puzzle further complicates things, obviously.
That can be painful. You've invested yourself emotionally in this person, and she didn't take the time to call you back when she said she would. I don't mean to be a downer (I've been through something similar recently)…when a "friend" forgets to get in touch with you, it's bcs you are not the first thing on their minds. If she had those kinds of feeling for you, she would go through hell or high water to get in touch with you.
The boyfriend piece of the puzzle further complicates things, obviously.
Yeah it was my fault for unrealistically and vainly hoping I could "win her over" eventually or at least staying friends without it being awkward with her boyfriend but I guess not. Maybe in the near future things will sort themselves out and I can be buddies with her again, but I feel like I invested so much of my heart in this girl.
Was FB your main means of communication? I know what you are going through is hard, but really, you need to let her initiate contact I would think. And she may not…so be prepared for that. Its only going to be painful for you to maintain a lukewarm friendship from her.
It's okay to unfriend her if you feel you may be tempted to contact her again. She is in a relationship with someone else, so it is best to respect that and discontinue all contact with her. It will help you get over her.
Get out there and practice talking to women in real life. Trial and error buddy. You mentioned that you haven't been on a proper date. Eventually with enough practice you will develop the proper way to converse with women and you will find yourself going on that proper date you desire. You have nothing to lose.
I've been talking to this girl on Facebook and on the phone for about a year and a half who lives across the country and I have had strong feelings for her, but she is in a relationship. We were good friends but lately she's kept her distance from me, not answered my texts and messages all the time like she used to and I confronted her about it and she admits she wants to keep a distance out of respect for her boyfriend. She said we shouldn't talk on the phone anymore and that she doesn't want me to fly out there and visit her now. I was planning to next summer and she wanted me to but I guess she's changed her mind.
I thought I could deal with just being friends and for a while I could but the last straw for me was she said she would call me this weekend and she never bothered to. I feel like she's neglecting our friendship because she is singularly devoted to her boyfriend. I do understand that the fact i have romantic feelings for her makes things sort of awkward, so I told her maybe in a few years we can be friends again if she wants but right now it's probably just best we don't talk.
I feel absolutely terrible but I think it's what she really wants and as painful as it is it's probably what I need because I don't think I'm going to stop wanting to be more than friends with her. Do you think my disappointment with her is unreasonable and did I do the right thing unfriending her on facebook and saying we shouldn't talk anymore?
Your situation and I are strikingly similar. I really like that girl and she likes me too but I don't think her feeling for me is as strong as I have for her. She also lives across the country, thus we communicated a lot using Facebook and Skype. I also planned to visit her this summer. However I know that I am only her second option and I notice a recent downtrend in communication between us. Yesterday I told her it's better we should remain friend, and I will try to suppress my romantic feeling for her . Some girls just like the attention from you but nothing more, you can't change that.
I've been talking to this girl on Facebook and on the phone for about a year and a half who lives across the country and I have had strong feelings for her, but she is in a relationship. We were good friends but lately she's kept her distance from me, not answered my texts and messages all the time like she used to and I confronted her about it and she admits she wants to keep a distance out of respect for her boyfriend. She said we shouldn't talk on the phone anymore and that she doesn't want me to fly out there and visit her now. I was planning to next summer and she wanted me to but I guess she's changed her mind.
I thought I could deal with just being friends and for a while I could but the last straw for me was she said she would call me this weekend and she never bothered to. I feel like she's neglecting our friendship because she is singularly devoted to her boyfriend. I do understand that the fact i have romantic feelings for her makes things sort of awkward, so I told her maybe in a few years we can be friends again if she wants but right now it's probably just best we don't talk.
I feel absolutely terrible but I think it's what she really wants and as painful as it is it's probably what I need because I don't think I'm going to stop wanting to be more than friends with her. Do you think my disappointment with her is unreasonable and did I do the right thing unfriending her on facebook and saying we shouldn't talk anymore?
Yes.. you did the right thing.... for sure.
In a while after you get over it a bit you might be able to be friends with her, but now... you unfortunately need to cut off contact with her.
Time may give you some perspective.
You'll feel better in a while... sorry you have to go thru this pain right now... but if you can manage to stand back and get some perspective you'll see that you'll be ok in a while and that life goes on.
I've been talking to this girl on Facebook and on the phone for about a year and a half who lives across the country and I have had strong feelings for her, but she is in a relationship. We were good friends but lately she's kept her distance from me, not answered my texts and messages all the time like she used to and I confronted her about it and she admits she wants to keep a distance out of respect for her boyfriend. She said we shouldn't talk on the phone anymore and that she doesn't want me to fly out there and visit her now.I was planning to next summer and she wanted me to but I guess she's changed her mind.
I thought I could deal with just being friends and for a while I could but the last straw for me was she said she would call me this weekend and she never bothered to. I feel like she's neglecting our friendship because she is singularly devoted to her boyfriend. I do understand that the fact i have romantic feelings for her makes things sort of awkward, so I told her maybe in a few years we can be friends again if she wants but right now it's probably just best we don't talk.
I feel absolutely terrible but I think it's what she really wants and as painful as it is it's probably what I need because I don't think I'm going to stop wanting to be more than friends with her. Do you think my disappointment with her is unreasonable and did I do the right thing unfriending her on facebook and saying we shouldn't talk anymore?
If I were her, I wouldn't want you to fly over and see me, and I'd limit our conversations on the phone to zero.
Seriously?
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