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My posts was simply about me looking forward to achieving my goals, I never sad anything bad about mothers, I just said I did not want to be one.
How is this in any way provoking or insulting?
Ohky0815, I never told people what they should post. But you are telling me what I should and should not post. You said I was stupid for saying something. You said you would have said something, which means you would have voiced your opinion. So how come it is okay to some to speak up and I cannot?
I am tired of family and friends making comments to me like: Oh you will change your mind about having kids, one day when you have kids..., etc etc. So my post was directed at them letting them know Motherhood just is not for me guys, I want to spend my life traveling/writing/etc.
OP, why don't you just stop trying to convince other ppl to accept your views about personal decisions you have made?
you are making your life much more difficult by seeking validation and acceptance from other ppl. just stop, eff 'em. this is your life and it is your decision for how you decide to live it. for example, why even post this thread if you want to dispute or disagree with others for commenting? go find other productive things to do beside trying to find justification for your non-traditional lifestyle. who cares? you apparently do so i'm suggesting that perhaps you shouldn't.
Facebook isnt the place to voice your life choice. Tell a close friend or counselor.
Ohhhh, okay. Did not know their are rules about what I can and cannot post on my own page.
Ya know, I saw I bunch of posts on there about how people couldnt imagine life without their kid. This implies if you dont also have kid, you live a lesser unfulfilled life. But thats okay for them post right?
Actually the point of making this thread was to talk to other people who are CF. Can we stick to that or no, are we going to be childish about a post I made and deleted?
Is there anyone who commented who is not a parent?
I have no kids, and don't want any. I am also older than your 20 year old friends.
Personally, I would never say to a mother that I don't want kids because I want to do important stuff in life. That's like saying that somehow motherhood is not important. I have a lot of respect for mothers, and can understand why they are proud of their kids and being a mom.
I have seen women who choose to not have kids look down on moms as if somehow their life must be boring, and they are not as successful because they might not have a career or might not get to travel or whatever, and I think that's pretty lame. I have also seen women who choose to have kids look down on women who choose not to, and that is pretty lame too, but you said these people never bothered you until you made your comment so it seems like you are the one looking down on them.
Ohhhh, okay. Did not know their are rules about what I can and cannot post on my own page.
Ya know, I saw I bunch of posts on there about how people couldnt imagine life without their kid. This implies if you dont also have kid, you live a lesser unfulfilled life. But thats okay for them post right?
Geez, i think someone peed in your wheaties. Calm down. I made a joke about leaving and tried to be nice by exiting. Ill try wording it another way. Facebook may not be the best route for you to post this specific thought/feeling. Meaning, It caused emotional responses there and here, which is not good, so next time before posting remember that and talk to a friend or counselor beforehand.
Since I deleted the post, I had to retype it the best I could. It was not worded exactly like that, I made it clear that I meant no disrespect, basically I said I want to devote 100% of my time to my career/traveling/writing, etc and that I did not plan on having kids because of that.
Yes, I live in a not-so-great city and I know dozens of classmates who have babies and are married.
Why should I keep my thoughts to myself? Why are only parents allowed to speak their mind? They post a bunch of stuff I do not agree with, but I do not act like some of them acted.
Why do you care what they think? It's facebook for crying out loud, post what you want, make your status what you want, don't apologize for anything that you did not do wrong.
If they want to be upset that you do not want to have children that is their issue and not yours.
I would not have deleted anything or apologized to anyone.
Facebook is nothing but an open invitation to a drama fest, much like this forum a lot of times.
I knew I did not want kids at a young age too. It makes it REALLY hard to find a good woman. If you don't want kids and want good OS and your not mr.GQ then you have to relax a lot of other standards because its hard wired into most women to want kids.
What you should have done just press the unfollow button where you can adjust your news feed if you were bothered by those young mother's posts. posting arrogant personal statements is not the way to react those. Just enjoy their joy with them. Does not want to have child does not mean you need to be a child or mother hater????? For me it is look like you hate young mothers, kids, may be that has to do with what you went through as a kid. So I say you better talk to a therapist instead of hitting your anger unhappiness on face book. A woman like you a kid hater was the reason I live with out Facebook today. She also got something to post always when I drop a post with my kid.
When I was younger I never pictured myself having kids. I am 20 and I still have no desire to have children. Please note my apostrophe key is broken.
Anyways, these young mothers havent given me any trouble until I posted this as my status today:
I never want to have children. There are so many things I would like to do in my life. I want to travel the world, get one of my books published, maybe even become a famous author lol.
I honestly didnt think I sounded disrespectful towards the mothers I mentioned before. It was not a status directed at them, just something I have had on my mind for a while and since I was bored I posted it, thinking it would get a couple likes, maybe even some harmless chit chat before being buried under newer posts.
I deleted my post and ended up deleting and then blocking about 6 people.
EFF OFF. I am child free, I want to stay child free. There are things I want to experience in life and I do not want to participate in the baby game. Changing dirty diapers and packing school lunches? No thanks, I will pass.
I thought society would be more accepting of different lifestyles, you know, it being almost 2015 and all. But I made that status and was almost instantly being put down and harassed for not wanting to be a mother. Has anyone else here been pressured or harassed for choosing a child free life? I would like to hear other peoples experiences because no one seems to support my choice, not even family. I try not to let them bother me, but sometimes they do.
OP - While there is nothing wrong with choosing a child-free lifestyle, I hope you have learned a valuable lesson from your fb posting as well as from sharing your choice with others elsewhere - which is that no matter what year it is, it is never going to make for smooth conversation to mention our choices that stray from norms - unless, of course, one's audience isn't going to feel threatened by it. Certain topics aren't meant for polite company - religion, politics, diet, and yes - wishing to remain child-free. If you want to feel supported in your choices, understand your audience and be methodical about deciding when to share your thoughts. It is what it is.
On a more personal note - I was much like you when I was 20, 30, and almost 40. To state what you "never want" when you are 20 years old is a bit like suggesting you have a crystal ball - living changes people and that goes for their thoughts and desires, too. I'm not saying you will change your mind, but it could happen. "Never" doesn't always play out in life.
As far as another poster's suggestion that you make the "obvious" choice and seek sterilization: good luck with that one - meaning good luck finding a doctor to perform that surgery on a 20 year old. Maybe times have changed in this regard - but I was sol years ago when I sought this remedy.
Choosing a child-free life because you have prioritized other pursuits is commendable. I wish more people had such clarity, as having kids and juggling to fit them into a packed life doesn't do justice to parenthood.
OP - While there is nothing wrong with choosing a child-free lifestyle, I hope you have learned a valuable lesson from your fb posting as well as from sharing your choice with others elsewhere - which is that no matter what year it is, it is never going to make for smooth conversation to mention our choices that stray from norms - unless, of course, one's audience isn't going to feel threatened by it. Certain topics aren't meant for polite company - religion, politics, diet, and yes - wishing to remain child-free. If you want to feel supported in your choices, understand your audience and be methodical about deciding when to share your thoughts. It is what it is.
On a more personal note - I was much like you when I was 20, 30, and almost 40. To state what you "never want" when you are 20 years old is a bit like suggesting you have a crystal ball - living changes people and that goes for their thoughts and desires, too. I'm not saying you will change your mind, but it could happen. "Never" doesn't always play out in life.
As far as another poster's suggestion that you make the "obvious" choice and seek sterilization: good luck with that one - meaning good luck finding a doctor to perform that surgery on a 20 year old. Maybe times have changed in this regard - but I was sol years ago when I sought this remedy.
Choosing a child-free life because you have prioritized other pursuits is commendable. I wish more people had such clarity, as having kids and juggling to fit them into a packed life doesn't do justice to parenthood.
I agree on this as well most other comments too.
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