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Old 10-29-2014, 06:08 PM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,320,068 times
Reputation: 43047

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Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeendonuts View Post
Yeah, I really need to talk to him about it. Up until junior year of HS I did straighten my hair regularly. But I have grown to like my hair and I appreciate it.

I do it on special occasions so I feel as though that should be enough.

If I start straightening now, it would be for him, not me. And I don't want to inconvenience myself over something like hair, when it's unnecessary and not a life or death.

Maybe gingers don't have souls kidding

I don't think he'll dump me over it. It's not break up worthy, I just think he doesn't understand that I don't have time for all of that and it doesn't fit my lifestyle.
And therein lies the other point - YOU like your hair the way it is. That's huge.

I'm happiest and most comfortable in a pair of biker boots and jeans. If a guy told me he wanted me to start wearing skirts and heels on a regular basis... um no. I'm a professional, so I've got plenty of those items in my wardrobe and am happy to wear them from time to time, but day-to-day I'm wearing the outfit that makes me happiest. Never got any complaints about that.
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Old 10-29-2014, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Encino, CA
4,542 posts, read 5,366,433 times
Reputation: 8189
Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeendonuts View Post
Changing to fit your partners preferences?

How much of yourself, if at all, would you change to fit your partners preferences?
Depends on what the change is, and what title does my "partner" have (i.e, new girlfriend, long term girlfriend, fiancee, wife, etc.).

If its something simple like a hair style, I'd probably consider it.

Of course, the greater the title she holds, the more I would be will to consider and make concessions for her preferences.
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Old 10-29-2014, 09:28 PM
 
Location: east coast
2,846 posts, read 2,962,947 times
Reputation: 1971
I also think age is a huge factor. Prior to doing my research, I was approaching it from a different angle. The OP is still a baby. (not as in immature but as in young) Things like this are going to happen at such a young age. We have to put these things into perspective.
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Old 10-30-2014, 05:11 AM
 
Location: east coast
2,846 posts, read 2,962,947 times
Reputation: 1971
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I don't see what race/ethnicity has to do with anything. Being controlling isn't cool or ok in any relationship.
Look, we can play as if these don't exist all we want. But at such a young age of barely making it out of high school, interracial dating for the first time can be complicated. I am not saying that it is an image thing but for someone that wants their SO to straighten their hair every single day is something to wonder besides asthehic preference. We have to look at all possibilities and reasons.

Let's not hurry our heads now.
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Old 10-31-2014, 01:30 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,400,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeendonuts View Post
How much of yourself, if at all, would you change to fit your partners preferences?

For example, I have curly hair that is shoulder length (I'm biracial). However, my boyfriend prefers my hair to be straight. When it is straight, it is waist length and it's healthy, because I never do anything with it.

I wear my hair in its natural curly state a majority of the time because it's more convenient for me and I don't mind my hair being curly. I have just normal curly hair, but it still takes me over an hour to straighten (with a CHI). Also, I'm kind of a fitness nut and I workout every single day. I'm a heavy sweater, so my hair would be ruined in 1 sess and my scalp would reek.

So, is this an unreasonable request? For me to straighten it every day? He's not a jerk about it by any means, he's just pushy and keeps suggesting I straighten it regularly. I chalk it up to cultural differences since we are of different races (I'm biracial but not part white), where as he is white and, well, male.

I realize it's not a drastic change he is suggesting, so perhaps I am being overly dramatic. He's known me for over 2 years though, so he knows how I am

Apologies for misspellings. I'm on my phone
Why??

u do wh makes u happy. u do u and who gives an eff wh/anyone thinks!! u want to straighten ur hair some days some days u don"t. do it 4 u cus u want to> eff wh/everyone else thinks.
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Old 10-31-2014, 01:34 AM
 
3,009 posts, read 3,636,176 times
Reputation: 2376
Why would you want to do that for?

If i am dating a girl i am dating her for who she is not what i can turn her into .
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Old 10-31-2014, 01:44 AM
 
Location: Ohio
5,624 posts, read 6,823,061 times
Reputation: 6802
I think you should respect him and honor him but dont do it if you are going to harbor bad feelings.

My husband loves my hair down, but he also doesnt realize how tangled and annoying very long hair can be. I do wear it down for him though more often than id like out of respect.
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Old 10-31-2014, 08:38 AM
 
877 posts, read 1,313,490 times
Reputation: 1156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
I think you should respect him and honor him but dont do it if you are going to harbor bad feelings.

My husband loves my hair down, but he also doesnt realize how tangled and annoying very long hair can be. I do wear it down for him though more often than id like out of respect.
I already explained to him that I don have enough time to do it daily and that it isn't really compatible with my lifestyle.

He'll live
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Old 10-31-2014, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,771 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284
Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeendonuts View Post
I already explained to him that I don have enough time to do it daily and that it isn't really compatible with my lifestyle.

He'll live
I love this reply.
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Old 10-31-2014, 08:47 AM
 
Location: CDA
521 posts, read 730,829 times
Reputation: 988
I prefer when my husband shaves his face everyday and is nice and smooth but that doesn't mean he does it everyday lol. It's okay for him to like how you look when you wear your hair a certain way, but it doesn't mean you need to do that all the time. Maybe on certain date nights or special occasions or if you are just in the mood for straight hair. Just like I'm sure my hubby likes it when I get all dressed up but I don't do that all the time. Then it's more special when I do. It's not bad of him to voice his opinion and shouldn't make you feel bad for not wearing your hair that way. It's just like, okay that's nice to know, and wear your hair like that sometimes for him but don't drive yourself crazy over it or take hours a day to do that!
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