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where does the line get drawn in his preferences for you?
What if one day he suddenly thinks you look great in booty shorts and exposed midriffs?
Will you accommodate him just becuase he has grown a taste for it?
He shouldn't expect anything other than what you are, but appeciate when you go to of your way to accommodate his desires.
I would keep his preferences in mind, but spending an hour every single day because he prefers your hair that way seems insane to me. My hair is naturally straight and I love to curl it. It looks full and pretty with waves in it, but it takes me at least 45 minutes and there's no way I want to spend that much time every single day on my hair. I've got other stuff to do! It's one thing for him to prefer it that way, but it sounds kind of crazy he's that hung up on it.
I am black. I prefer my hair straight, because it's easier to manage that way, by not getting tangled as much. Curly is easier to do, just wash, and, put it in 1 wet pigtail, it air dries, and it comes down curly. The straightening takes longer, but maintains better.
But if I was with a guy that wanted it curly all the time, for vanity, and not caring about my own preferences, then we aren't a good match. I could wear it as a treat for him now and then, just not all the time. It's like guys wanting hairless women. It's fine if that's what they want, but they need to go for that, instead of getting with 1 woman, then trying to mold her to their liking, demanding that she shave bald, areas she may not be comfortable or believe in shaving.
So, really this is just vanity, and not worth the trouble just to please him. I am all for working on a relationship and accommodating for your partner. But sometimes it borders on controlling and/or unnecessary when it's something like this, taken to this level.
It's fine if he likes that. But compromise is in order here. Wear it like that on special occasions. But everyday is too much if it's so much work.
So, in a relationship, compromise is good. You can straighten it sometimes, or special occasions, and see if he can handle that. if not, he's too demanding.
For all those that oppose A BIT of compromise, the thread will attach a virtual relationship GPS to you and if you dare accommodate or even think of comprising and communicating to come to some sort of agreement, you will be flagged and fined. Stop being machines.
I would keep his preferences in mind, but spending an hour every single day because he prefers your hair that way seems insane to me. My hair is naturally straight and I love to curl it. It looks full and pretty with waves in it, but it takes me at least 45 minutes and there's no way I want to spend that much time every single day on my hair. I've got other stuff to do! It's one thing for him to prefer it that way, but it sounds kind of crazy he's that hung up on it.
I also don't have the time for it, to be honest. I'm a full time student with an 8AM class MWF and I also have a part time job. I can barely fit in time to eat at the end of the day, because I love sleep (still end up getting maybe 6 hrs at the most)
How much of yourself, if at all, would you change to fit your partners preferences?
For example, I have curly hair that is shoulder length (I'm biracial). However, my boyfriend prefers my hair to be straight. When it is straight, it is waist length and it's healthy, because I never do anything with it.
I wear my hair in its natural curly state a majority of the time because it's more convenient for me and I don't mind my hair being curly. I have just normal curly hair, but it still takes me over an hour to straighten (with a CHI). Also, I'm kind of a fitness nut and I workout every single day. I'm a heavy sweater, so my hair would be ruined in 1 sess and my scalp would reek.
So, is this an unreasonable request? For me to straighten it every day? He's not a jerk about it by any means, he's just pushy and keeps suggesting I straighten it regularly. I chalk it up to cultural differences since we are of different races (I'm biracial but not part white), where as he is white and, well, male.
I realize it's not a drastic change he is suggesting, so perhaps I am being overly dramatic. He's known me for over 2 years though, so he knows how I am
Apologies for misspellings. I'm on my phone
Don't do it. If you give in now by straightening your hair then what's next? I have thick hair with a little curl so I know how tedious it is to straighten it every day.
You don't think being pushy is not being a jerk about it?
Well, you are compromising and he is going to have to meet you half way. Tell him it takes a lot of work, AND straightening it every day will cause damage so it will lead to you having to cut your hair shorter.
If my husband finds something attractive, I'm all about doing it; but if he pushed me, I think I would dig in my heels. That's your hair in it's natural state, it's how you come as a package. You're doing it when you can to please him, I think that's enough.
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It's about being reasonable. You should accomodate and he should be reasonable in requests. Her not budging or refusing is the same as he pushing too hard. We are not freaking machines. We have our own personal tastes. But hey, don't get mad at his unlimited porn collection of straight haired pigeons if you decide to hold out.
It's about being reasonable. You should accomodate and he should be reasonable in requests. Her not budging or refusing is the same as he pushing too hard. We are not freaking machines. We have our own personal tastes. But hey, don't get mad at his unlimited porn collection of straight haired pigeons if you decide to hold out.
Well, that escalated quickly.
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