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All I can say to this is the people we allow in to our personal lives are the people who have the most influence over us.
I would talk to my SO about my concerns and discomfort with the whole situation.
If my wife ever came to me with this concern and expressed his uncomfortable me being around another women made her, I wouldmt be keeping that women in my life in any personal way.
However, I think she interperets it as a cocky, playful thing instead. I haven't said it directly. Maybe tonight I'll tell my husband straight out that I think she has a crush on him and see what he says.
This sounds good. It's definitely suspicious, at the moment I would say you are currently in a kind of open relationship.
Keep in mind introducing distrust, whether he cheated or would ever cheat, will kill the relationship by itself.
Where is monumentus when you need him. He would enjoy this.
But OP, let's cut to the knees on this. Let me first explain the situation then suggest how to approach it.
The bottom line, he knows what he is doing and he is playing with hot coal. Not exactly fire but he is getting there. As the OP suggested, it is up to your husband to set the boundaries.
Now, you need to remove yourself from this immediately and stop being such good friends. That was your bad. Don’t go making trouble when you don’t need it. Don’t go playing games to test him. I can see where you are coming from but don’t do it. It’s a time waster and you need to get this over with.
This is not as easy as some posters will make it out to be. I can already feel exactly how you are feeling. The thought of her approaching and intruding every time you are out. She texting him and seeing him at work. Bottom line, she is not a friend of yours. She is just a neighbor but she will be for a long time and you have no way of escaping. Plus, she is a co-worker. This makes it all worse.
So what do you do? IT’S TIME TO SPEAK UP. Not stinky footing around and playing games. Just say hey dude, I am not feeling ole girl and I think she is getting a little too close. He then needs to respect that.
However, you seem to know every little detail about how much, when, and what they communicate about. This begs me to ask the question of: why are you so involved in every aspect of their relationship? I just find it strange that the guy can't even breathe on his own. However, you do have a right to be a bit uncomfortable.
But, you have to distance yourself from her. He needs to set boundaries and keep the texts limited. He shouldn't be chilling with her. It's JUST NOT A GOOD LOOK. I wouldn't do it nor would I want my lady to do it with her male co-worker after hours.
You now know never to get close to or become good “friends” with your husband’s co-workers because you don’t have the capacity to remain secured. It’s natural. I would feel the same way.
All I can say to this is the people we allow in to our personal lives are the people who have the most influence over us.
I would talk to my SO about my concerns and discomfort with the whole situation.
If my wife ever came to me with this concern and expressed his uncomfortable me being around another women made her, I wouldmt be keeping that women in my life in any personal way.
I'm not in a marriage to make my wife feel uncomfortable, let one every day of the week
This past spring, my husband introduced me to a woman he works with. We both have a lot of the same interests, so he thought we'd make good friends. She actually lives in our neighborhood, so we have met up a few times now and have become friends - she and I really do get along well, and I don't have many other women friends here in OH.
I'm 37 and so is my husband. This woman is 28, single, and gorgeous. I have no reason to believe my husband has any alterior motives here, he rarely talks to her outside work in person unless she and I are doing something and he comes along or she's at our house. They do text but she initiates it 99% of the time.
However, here and there, I've suspected that this woman has alterior motives regarding my husband, and might have more of an interest in him than would be appropriate. She does occasionally text him at home, usually for work purposes (he fully discloses and doesn't hide anything), but then they usually chat a bit about other mundane stuff once the work discussion is over. She texts me too, however, often simultaneously.
Then it got a bit worse. Several times, she has made comments to me (usually without hubby around) that my husband is adorable or that I'm lucky to have him. These comments are becoming more frequent.
I told my husband about the "adorable" comment. He said "yeah, she says that at work sometimes, too, but says it to a lot of people".
However, last week we went for a walk around the neighborhood (hubby, kids and I) and she saw us, looked straight at my husband, got these big wide eyes and smile, and then came up to talk to us.
I'm starting to think she's trying to use me to get to him somehow. I don't have a reason to distrust my husband, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable, even though I'm sure my husband wouldn't take her up on it if she tried to make a move on him. Just the idea she may try. Or, it could be her personality, since she is the type of woman that calls a lot of things "cute" that she likes. What do you think? Am I overthinking this?
I really don't believe an affair is happening, there are no odd late night meetings, my husband rarely goes out of the house for non-work reasons for any length of time, etc. No odd behaviors that would suggest he's hiding anything. If anything, I think he's totally oblivious to the idea that this woman might have a crush or worse on him. Our sex life hasn't changed, either.
You are already worried about it hence the reason you are asking.
You either trust your husband or you do not trust your husband, it is that simple.
However, I think she interperets it as a cocky, playful thing instead. I haven't said it directly. Maybe tonight I'll tell my husband straight out that I think she has a crush on him and see what he says.
Don't do this. It's only delaying the process and adding stress where you should be taking care of bidness to make it go away as quickly as possible. No need to aggravate or play games.
You are already worried about it hence the reason you are asking.
You either trust your husband or you do not trust your husband, it is that simple.
I see where you are coming from but the neighbor/co-worker isn't making things that easy. it's not like she is miles away. She is almost intruding with texts and approaching them on their walks. I would tell they guy off if I am walking with my wife and her co-worker that she sees everyday comes up to us. It's our time and should respect it.
It is sad that some woman feel the need to weak a happy home. Yea some guys do it too get you own dam woman or man and leave people that are taken alone.
OP I am no psychic but I don't get a good feeling here. Please terminate ALL unnecessary communication and if possible move to a different area of town. I feel she is not as straight laced as she wants you to believe. A man is a man is a man. A young woman is always a danger. Another mitigation would be to hook her up with a loser that keeps her busy. But again stay away from her.
Sounds like this woman wants your man, although this kind of behavior could be normal for her. Some women are flirty/bubbly by nature.
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