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I didn't say I wouldn't be okay with it, I said I didn't know. I gave an honest answer, something I feel is in short supply on this board. If you don't like the answer I gave, that's your problem, not mine. Unlike many here, I don't feel a need to portray myself idealistically.
As for the issue of infidelity, if I've largely (although, contrary to what you said, certainly not exclusively) discussed it, it's because it's an issue where I feel our society's collective judgment--and the sanctimoniousness of this board--is seriously questionable, if not downright wrongheaded. If you reject that view, that's your prerogative.
You've always rejected the notion of having an open relationship as being too difficult to find. It's apparent that having one is not something you've actually considered, just something you like to say.
I have a first cousin who can't or wont be faithful to save his life. He has a very good looking wife with a great figure and a good job. He is a good looking guy himself in his early 40s with 4 kids and he is often approached by women. Everybody in the family loves his wife because she is so nice, friendly, helpful and respectful to everyone. Also, everybody in the family knows how my cousin fool around on her, especially with younger girls in their 20s. It was a little sad to see them finally split but I understand why. I will sure miss his wife and the kids at family functions this holiday season because I know she wont come around even if invited. This guy have never been faithful to any woman his entire life despite having good looking girlfriends or wife.
I didn't say I wouldn't be okay with it, I said I didn't know. I gave an honest answer, something I feel is in short supply on this board. If you don't like the answer I gave, that's your problem, not mine. Unlike many here, I don't feel a need to portray myself idealistically.
As for the issue of infidelity, if I've largely (although, contrary to what you said, certainly not exclusively) discussed it, it's because it's an issue where I feel our society's collective judgment--and the sanctimoniousness of this board--is seriously questionable, if not downright wrongheaded. If you reject that view, that's your prerogative.
No one likes being lied to, and cheating does just that. When you decided to wed your significant other, you took on a vow to be with one another. That's apparently not right for you, so don't do it. You probably KNOW your spouse will leave you if you even suggest open marriage. Be fair about things. Deception always ends poorly.
"The spouse"? I am not talking about a hypothetical schlub--I mean you! Condoning cheating is literally the only thing you talk about on this board, and you've done so for quite a while. Your rationalization is that breaking up is hard and finding someone who wants an open relationship is hard, so it's preferable to stay in a relationship and have quiet affairs. I don't see why you're not fine with her doing the same thing. Maybe she's not willing to divorce and lose the security of being a wife, but she desires someone (or a few someones) who know how to turn her crank. I'm surprised you're not okay with the idea of this.
My philosophy is that if a woman steps out on me, she was never mine to begin with.
I know that some folks like to suggest that men and women cheat for the same reasons, but I know better than that.
I have a first cousin who can't or wont be faithful to save his life. He has a very good looking wife with a great figure and a good job. He is a good looking guy himself in his early 40s with 4 kids and he is often approached by women. Everybody in the family loves his wife because she is so nice, friendly, helpful and respectful to everyone. Also, everybody in the family knows how my cousin fool around on her, especially with younger girls in their 20s. It was a little sad to see them finally split but I understand why. I will sure miss his wife and the kids at family functions this holiday season because I know she wont come around even if invited. This guy have never been faithful to any woman his entire life despite having good looking girlfriends or wife.
I love my gf of several years unconditionally. We get along flawlessly and she is truly an amazing woman. I never could have hoped to find someone this amazing.
Sex wise, she is amazing. Always wants it, never turns me down, is a total freak, etc. In that sense, I also couldn't be happier.
That being said, something is wired in my brain I guess to be promiscuous. I don't put myself in those positions so I dont let it get the best of me, but it's hard.
Prior to her, I was often sleeping with 3-4 different women every week. Sometimes multiples in a day. In one 4 month stretch I slept with about 30 women.
The "diversity" is what I loved. Most were not nearly as attractive or as awesome sexually as my gf but the thrill of something "new" is what gets me.
That being said, it's a struggle I fight very hard with but as others said I can't have my cake and eat it too. I want a normal life some day, children, etc. and I know my gf is who I want them with.
I will just continue fighting the urge, small price to pay for everything else I have.
I honestly think I was/am a sex addict but I'll just deal knowing that this is what I want deep down when I think with the right head.
If it was something I could help I would in a heartbeat. Just don't know how.
There's nothing to understand. He was horny and has poor self control. That right there, in a hard and shiny nutshell, is your reason for why 90% of men cheat.
There's nothing to understand. He was horny and has poor self control. That right there, in a hard and shiny nutshell, is your reason for why 90% of men cheat.
I love my gf of several years unconditionally. We get along flawlessly and she is truly an amazing woman. I never could have hoped to find someone this amazing.
Sex wise, she is amazing. Always wants it, never turns me down, is a total freak, etc. In that sense, I also couldn't be happier.
That being said, something is wired in my brain I guess to be promiscuous. I don't put myself in those positions so I dont let it get the best of me, but it's hard.
Prior to her, I was often sleeping with 3-4 different women every week. Sometimes multiples in a day. In one 4 month stretch I slept with about 30 women.
The "diversity" is what I loved. Most were not nearly as attractive or as awesome sexually as my gf but the thrill of something "new" is what gets me.
That being said, it's a struggle I fight very hard with but as others said I can't have my cake and eat it too. I want a normal life some day, children, etc. and I know my gf is who I want them with.
I will just continue fighting the urge, small price to pay for everything else I have.
I honestly think I was/am a sex addict but I'll just deal knowing that this is what I want deep down when I think with the right head.
If it was something I could help I would in a heartbeat. Just don't know how.
Shakespeare's "to be or not to be" wasn't the question Chris Rock summed it up best.
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