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My nephew is really struggling socially in his first year of High School. He came into the school not knowing anyone and is constantly shocked at the strange interpersonal rules and culture in a typical American suburban High School. He wonders how does someone become REAL popular in High School.
He is not looking to be one of the guys or just having a few good friends or any of those things. He wants to know what people do to become the most popular kid in school. How about the "Home Coming King," what does he do to be so popular with everyone? How can someone have just tons of friends in school while others with great personalities are outsiders? What is the secret to High School popularity?
Years ago, Billy Graham put out a suggestion for teens. He suggested reading one chapter of Proverbs per day to learn how to live with man and five chapters of Psalms per day to learn about God. I did the first and sometimes the second and I will not say I was totally in in school, but I consider I had a successful high school time, because I graduated in the top 5% of my class and think almost everyone respected me as an honest person. It would never be my choice to be with the in crowd.
There sure are unwritten rules, some of which include being good at something, preferably sports, or oratory. Then there are the bullies; they are always popular with someone so bullying is high up on the list.
But popularity in general is usually more of a nuisance than a benefit. It always annoyed my parents that the phone didn't stop ringing and that I needed a special jacket for different clubs and numerous pairs of sneakers all year long raising the clothing allowance.
So depending on budgets, and personalities, it might be wiser to stay quiet, and remain a wall-flower.
I'd say he's better off NOT being popular.
BUT...i think it usually is someone with a very outgoing personality, sense of humor, and generally in my opinion they have always been very athletic.
Have him join a sport team or a club or band or something. That is a good way to make friends.
Make sure he knows popularity in HS only goes as far as HS. Once you graduate it will not matter who was friends with who.
Years ago, Billy Graham put out a suggestion for teens. He suggested reading one chapter of Proverbs per day to learn how to live with man and five chapters of Psalms per day to learn about God. I did the first and sometimes the second and I will not say I was totally in in school, but I consider I had a successful high school time, because I graduated in the top 5% of my class and think almost everyone respected me as an honest person. It would never be my choice to be with the in crowd.
Excellent and mature advice! I would suggest that the crowd that should matter to your nephew is the one he's friends with. I have raised two kids - a son who graduated a few years ago and was considered very popular - a well known athlete locally, very outgoing and friendly. I now have a high school senior daughter. She use to struggle because she felt she wasn't as "popular" as her older brother. I think through building self confidence of her and not trying to be her brother, she built her own set of friends and her own "popularity". She's as respected and well liked by her peers as her brother was. She's also much more shy and less outgoing and would not have ultimately been as comfortable in the limelight as my son was. God puts us places and offers opportunities that are for us as individuals - what we do with those opportunities is up to us. That's a lesson that one is well served to begin to learn in high school.
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
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When I was in high school in the 70s, there was no "in crowd" per se because everybody had their own crowd they hung with. The jocks hung with the jocks, the fans of Alice Cooper hung with the fans of Black Sabbath and the smokers all hung out by the west door where they could smoke and the rednecks all hung together in the parking lot and the blacks all hung together on the grand lawn (except the black jocks who hung with the white jocks) and the geek types hung out in the science club and had good relations with those in the chess club and the Christians hung out with each other and had the Bible Club. So whatever crowd you hung with was your "in crowd". I hung with the "music crowd" and the "motorcyle crowd" because those were my interest.
While all the replies are interesting none of them really answer the question. What is it that makes a high school student so popular that they are elected home coming king or queen and/or they are the real in crowd.
All the PC talk about how it is not necessary for anyone to be the most popular is interesting but not what I was really looking for. I want to know the reason why someone is the most popular kid in class. Thanks
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