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I think people always mistake this don't make yourself too available thing as a mind game. It's not. It's a way to gauge the level of interest in the other person. If you are so desperate to just want to be with him no matter how much he likes you, by all means throw yourself at him. The OP has already indicated she has reached out but he hasn't. So what is the point of reaching out to him again?
I agree. We can debate all day long about how a woman should feel free to pursue and initiate dates/contact with the guy, but all I have is my own experience and my own experience has been when I was the one reaching out it meant he wasn't that interested. Obviously once you are actually dating it should be more equal, but initially I prefer the guy to make his interest known. A guy who is too timid to pursue and make the first moves to get things started isn't for me.
A guy who is too timid to pursue and make the first moves to get things started isn't for me.
And I totally get you. But then you run into the situation where women, not you necessarily you, continue
this game of hide and seek and it comes down to the man always having to pull teeth when in reality, then its all games and her testing him- aka "$..t tests".
Last edited by halfamazing; 11-05-2014 at 11:56 AM..
It's all good, as long as you know that woman that is too entitled to do any work herself isn't for a lot of men, either.
I'm not entitled at all. And I am gracious and very thankful when guys make the effort to plan dates for me and make the first move to show their interest. And after he shows interest I have no problem showing my interest back and planning dates and initiating conversations. But if a guy takes me on a date and I never hear from him again I'll assume he isn't interested. I've been the person before who would make the first move to reach out and it never worked out because they just weren't that interested. If they were, they would have initiated another date in the first place.
Men who are interested pursue. Or like I said, if he wants to but he's too timid or shy then we're going to have a personality conflict down the line anyway, so he isn't for me.
If you asked him out the first time, I wouldnt ask him out again. You already asked him a second time, and he said he had plans. You'll never know if he's really interested in you, or just filling in empty time, if you have to keep asking him out.
It is never too early to start planning your wedding. Start by narrowing down the guest list to the people you really care about, and then adding others based on budget. The number of guests will be very important when determining the venue, and the venue availability will influence the exact date of the event.
You can also start researching colleges for your eventual children, and even planning a speech for your children's wedding. Some may disagree, but I think it may be a bit premature to start thinking about buying cute outfits for your grandchildren.
I'm not entitled at all. And I am gracious and very thankful when guys make the effort to plan dates for me and make the first move to show their interest. And after he shows interest I have no problem showing my interest back and planning dates and initiating conversations. But if a guy takes me on a date and I never hear from him again I'll assume he isn't interested. I've been the person before who would make the first move to reach out and it never worked out because they just weren't that interested. If they were, they would have initiated another date in the first place.
Men who are interested pursue. Or like I said, if he wants to but he's too timid or shy then we're going to have a personality conflict down the line anyway, so he isn't for me.
You just repeated the same point, which is very one-sided. According to you, you're obviously not interested in the guy if you're not pursuing him, you're too timid and shy. And that's not for a lot of men.
It is never too early to start planning your wedding. Start by narrowing down the guest list to the people you really care about, and then adding others based on budget. The number of guests will be very important when determining the venue, and the venue availability will influence the exact date of the event.
You can also start researching colleges for your eventual children, and even planning a speech for your children's wedding. Some may disagree, but I think it may be a bit premature to start thinking about buying cute outfits for your grandchildren.
Thanks for the laugh! It was a good idea. He has grandchildren and I have teens so I'm not picking out any baby clothes just yet!
There will be no big wedding for me. Just me, my guy, my family, a few close friends and a bluegrass band by a lake.
And no, I haven't heard a peep. Just gave a guy on OKCupid my email address and asked if he is busy this weekend. I was driving through my neighborhood and saw a guy that looked just like him (I guess it could have been him) So I decided that was a sign.
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