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Just move on. He just isn't that interested and you're coming across as needy. He got what he wanted and in his mind he's past you. You should take the hint.
I almost want to text him just to let him know its over and he's a liar. Should I be friendly in my approach or what?
Don't do it. You already look like a chump for texting him over & over. He's obviously done with you. Move on before you make yourself look like a complete fool.
OP, it sounds like he'd already withdrawn in the weeks before. He must've met someone else who was more into him and didn't need to take it slowly. Why he then took back up with you and started calling a lot I can't say. Maybe he hit a rough patch with the other gf, and reached back out to you.
He could at least do you the courtesy of telling you he'd found someone else, but a lot of dudes don't have the balls for that. Sounds like he was acting kinda guilty when he left. Wouldn't even make eye contact with you. He knew he was just using you. That's my take.
Guys don't go out with a woman for two months just to see if they can get laid, and once they do, they move on.
If they moved on, there is a reason, and that wasn't it.
Timberline also gets it...
I suppose it is normal but forums have a way of ganging up on the other person that hasn't even a chance to say his/her part. People read this and take it as the holy word of the OP being the innocent. Situation dictates and no two are ever the same.
OP, it sounds like he'd already withdrawn in the weeks before. He must've met someone else who was more into him and didn't need to take it slowly. Why he then took back up with you and started calling a lot I can't say. Maybe he hit a rough patch with the other gf, and reached back out to you.
He could at least do you the courtesy of telling you he'd found someone else, but a lot of dudes don't have the balls for that. Sounds like he was acting kinda guilty when he left. Wouldn't even make eye contact with you. He knew he was just using you. That's my take.
I agree with this. Women who play the waiting game are investing in a losing proposition. I know, because I've stopped communicating with women who do this. This guy signed off a couple weeks prior, it sounds like, and jumped in the sack when the opportunity was presented to him.
I have been dating this guy for about 2 months and we finally slept together the other day. I had been wanting to for a while, but holding back because I wanted to make sure I was ready and that I trusted him. We've talked and texted a whole lot, especially in the beginning and even spent hours on the phone, but I'd noticed he started contacting me less in the past few weeks. We had started talking a lot again last week and it just happened. It was enjoyable for both of us I thought, but in the morning he seemed awkward and distant. We did kiss goodbye, but he wouldn't look me in the eye for that long. We did have a problem with the condom and he got a little worried at one point so I thought it may have had someone to do with that. He said he'd talk to me later, but I didn't hear from him all day. I ended up deciding to get morning after pill just to ease his mind (and mine). He actually did text me, but it wasn't until 2am even though he was off most of the day. I texted him the following morning mentioning i took the pill, but he didn't respond. That made me kinda upset because it made me feel alone in it all. I texted him again around 2am (we do text late a lot) asking if something was wrong. He responded the next day in the afternoon saying i had not done anything wrong and saying he was sorry. I wrote back saying thanks for letting me know and saying that I wish he would have just said something sooner, but he didn't respond to my followup text for the rest of the day. It's been 3 days since then and I haven't heard from him. It's really stressing me out because he convinced me he was a good guy and would never hurt a woman and he understands women because he grew up close to his mother and sisters. He was very much into me in the beginning and wanting a real relationship that he said he hadn't had in so long. We're in our late 20s and he let me know how much he just really wants to find love with the right woman, though he mentioned he's picky.
Did he start to lose interest a few weeks back and then decided maybe he could still at least sleep with me? He's always been very sweet and in the beginning I even told my friends how attentive he was and would always text back and check up on me or say sorry if he took to long to contact me. Now we've slept together and its silence. I know he'll respond if I text him now, but should I just wait for him? I really don't believe he'll just ignore me that much longer, but it hurts and I almost want to text him just to let him know its over and he's a liar. Should I be friendly in my approach or what?
Every situation is different but a lot can be determined by the OP. It is never absolute but people are generally act the same based on common thought and what common thoughts they follow. The OP may not be back so let me break it down for others reading with similar issues.
First, let's not get hung up on the "hit and quit it" talk. If this is the first thing on our minds than we will forever be doomed from the get go. But, let's get a better read of her and natural behavior.
Quote:
Originally Posted by larubia143
I have been dating this guy for about 2 months and we finally slept together the other day. I had been wanting to for a while, but holding back because I wanted to make sure I was ready and that I trusted him.
Nothing wrong with a woman waiting and a man will either wait for her or not and with or without an agenda; Situation dictates. But again, we can't be hypocritical by saying that not all men are like this or that but then simultaneously start preparing ourselves to be ditched by men. If that is the case, then all men our dogs and leave it at that; be consistent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by larubia143
It was enjoyable for both of us I thought, but in the morning he seemed awkward and distant. We did kiss goodbye, [b]but he wouldn't look me in the eye for that long.
All this premeditated thinking of "he will hurt me and will ditch me after I have done all this preparing” is starting to creep in and will be the death of you. Your insecurities are showing through your post and I can only imagine how you are in person to any reasonable guy. Not exactly attractive at all. He is probably good at reading people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by larubia143
We did have a problem with the condom and he got a little worried at one point so I thought it may have had someone to do with that. He said he'd talk to me later, but I didn't hear from him all day.
Again, are you living together? Does he owe you money? Do your insecurities need to be fulfilled by him calling you back when YOU EXPECT it? See, I am sure he read you because even though you actually did the nasty, you were prolly so apprehensive that he doesn't want to deal with your insecurities. You most lilkely show more of your insecurities during the "sacred act" you were so worried about. Couple that with the condom issue and now it's just a mess. You prolly didn't make things easy because you were on edge to begin with. PEOPLE in general don't need this extra drama unless its two virgins...
Quote:
Originally Posted by larubia143
Did he start to lose interest a few weeks back and then decided maybe he could still at least sleep with me? He's always been very sweet and in the beginning I even told my friends how attentive he was and would always text back and check up on me or say sorry if he took to long to contact me. Now we've slept together and its silence.
Insecurity, insecurity, and insecurity. Mind you, it is ok to be cautious but you are acting as if sex is equivalent to marriage or some kind of commitment that can never ever be broken. If sex and trust is this important, then you should hold out until marriage IMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by larubia143
I really don't believe he'll just ignore me that much longer, but it hurts and I almost want to text him just to let him know its over and he's a liar. Should I be friendly in my approach or what?
Insecurity. Even though he will respond, he won't respond in the manner of which you want in order to satisfy your insecurity. OP, he reads all of this. Many people can't read you because they can't make the connection between what you are writing and who you are as a person. However, they are usually one in the same.
You HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL INSECURE. I am NOT saying you are wrong for feeling the way you do. HOWEVER, you NEED to realize that not everyone has had your experiences and can't expect everyone to understand and deal with you on your level. It is best advised to seek counsel and find out the underlying issues or wait til marriage. If not, you will be living a life of insecurities.
I agree with this. Women who play the waiting game are investing in a losing proposition. I know, because I've stopped communicating with women who do this. This guy signed off a couple weeks prior, it sounds like, and jumped in the sack when the opportunity was presented to him.
^^^ this, plus coupled with her trust and insecurity issues that was so obvious especially in person. Nobody, man or woman, wants to deal with waiting then insecurities on top of it all. She needs to wait til marriage.
Yea you need to let go and forget about the dude. Either one of two things happened: 1) from the sex he realized that you two weren't sexually compatible or 2) he put a front to get laid.
Usually its number 2 as a guy will generally be able to tell if he'll be sexually compatible with a girl. Here, he said everything you wanted to hear and painted himself in the best light. Practiced some patience and after he got it, he split. Many guys are willing to go farther and even fake a relationship to get some steady sex. Take it as a life lesson and learn from this situation.
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