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Old 11-07-2014, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
545 posts, read 630,630 times
Reputation: 376

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Quote:
Originally Posted by P.Varma View Post
I imagine being with a woman or even a bunch of friends discussing their first kiss, sex, etc. and everyone is saying they were 14, 15, 16 and I have to say that I was 30. Yeah I'll stand out.
Do you think you would regret not getting an arranged marriage? You seem to be in a perfect once in a lifetime position for it.
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Old 11-07-2014, 09:38 AM
 
136 posts, read 118,193 times
Reputation: 54
I'll be honest here...I don't think arranged marriages are any less or more moral than love marriages.

However, you state you were born in the USA. Well many persons with distant (and in I mean colonial times, whether white immigrant or African slave) don't often have much success. So by that I mean it may be your personality or approach more so than being of a different culture or being born to immigrants. I think being born to immigrants should make you understand the culture better than your parents do.

That said, I think much of this Indian man=undateable thing is overstated.

You may need therapy, because it seems to me an issue of confidence/motivation.

Also, means more desi women for me if you don't get ...j/k...you can date any race, it's a free world...though i'd kill to date somebody like Namita.
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Old 11-07-2014, 09:41 AM
 
3,201 posts, read 4,399,489 times
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i knew some cats from that part of the world who lived here, they all went home around 30 yrs of age for a few months and came back married

was kinda weird. but it works for people i guess


arent these types of marriages mainly a business arrangement?
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Old 11-07-2014, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,171,087 times
Reputation: 6376
Quote:
Originally Posted by minoviayyo View Post

Also, means more desi women for me if you don't get ...j/k...you can date any race, it's a free world...though i'd kill to date somebody like Namita.
Seriously dude, of all people you choose Namita. Me and my friends make lewd remarks on her sex life all the time .

OP, do what your heart says. You get one life to live. Satisfy yourself or your parents, its a hard choice, but the decision has to be made.
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Old 11-07-2014, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Nashville, TN -
9,588 posts, read 5,816,424 times
Reputation: 11116
Yes, OP, I think you should seriously consider an arranged marriage. I'm sure arranged marriages have many benefits.

I'm curious as to why there hasn't yet been any mention of an arranged marriage between you and your mother/parents. Have you avoided the discussion if it ever came up, or has your mother/parents simply never presented or encouraged it?
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Old 11-07-2014, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,462,475 times
Reputation: 15955
I think arranged marriages work for some.
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Old 11-07-2014, 10:21 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,088,952 times
Reputation: 11796
Sounds you like you would be doing it for the wrong reasons IMO. You need to take a look at yourself. An arranged marriage might mean you have a wife and get past those "firsts", but it won't fix the problems you have within yourself.
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Old 11-07-2014, 10:24 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by P.Varma View Post
Are you all mocking me?
IMO, it's never too late for first love. It's no different at 28 or 30 as it would be at 16. And btw, some people go through highschool and college without dating. You're not as far behind as you think. There was a university professor who used to post here, who said that many of her graduate students were still virgins, and didn't have time to date.

However, realistically speaking, often, in order to find the magic, you have to experience a fair amount of frustration. Finding someone compatible is the Holy Grail, and it's not easy. Be patient. Good luck.
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Old 11-07-2014, 10:26 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
Seriously dude, of all people you choose Namita. Me and my friends make lewd remarks on her sex life all the time .

I'd go for one of those gentle scandinavian chic's in their early 20's who has never been taken to bed before, and give em a "snaky" experience.
OP, don't listen to Adi. He's in the same exact situation as you, except that he's just a couple of years younger.
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Old 11-07-2014, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,171,087 times
Reputation: 6376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OP, don't listen to Adi. He's in the same exact situation as you, except that he's just a couple of years younger.
But we are bound by the same dilemma, essentially. Except that I'm against arranged marriage. I don't see the point, TBH.
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