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Making some new friends after college is challenging, nevermind the dating scene. You can be the sort of person who is fun and outgoing. You'll still be nothing more than a third wheel when the chips are down. People already have their circle of friends and you'll always be that one guy who entered the picture later on. At least that's the culmination of my experiences involving either myself or all of my friends as they begin to move across the country and create new social circles from scratch.
My advice as a late-bloomer is don't be like me. Put yourself out there before you become too old. If there is something you need to improve about yourself then please focus on that. I think a lot of people on this forum are quite frankly too far into the deep end and need to become better adjusted. But I do sympathize with these circumstances. I've been disabled from a rare neuromuscular disorder for essentially all of my adulthood until my late twenties, to finally being diagnosed and fully cured after multiple surgeries. Now I frequently move and work back-to-back ten hour shifts to make up for lost time. It will be several years before I'm in a good position to date again, and I cannot help that. If you do have the opportunity to put yourself out there and into the world then do so while you can. There might not be anything you can do differently about lost time. But each day is a new opportunity to enjoy yourself and possibly broaden your horizons and social circle along the way.
Last edited by Chill8742; 11-10-2014 at 05:38 AM..
Making some friends after college is more difficult let alone the dating scene. You can be a pretty awesome and reasonable kind of person who gets along well with others. You'll still be nothing more than that one guy who seems alright but is a third wheel when the chips are down. At least that's the culmination of my experiences involving either myself or all of my friends as they begin to move across the country and create new social circles.
My advice as a late-bloomer is don't be like me. Put yourself out there before you become too old. If there is something you need to improve about yourself then please focus on that. I think a lot of people here are quite frankly too far into the deep end and need to become better adjusted. But I do sympathize with these circumstances. I've been disabled from a rare neuromuscular disorder for essentially all of my adulthood until my late twenties, to finally being diagnosed and fully cured after multiple surgeries. Now I frequently move and work back-to-back ten hour shifts to make up for lost time. It will be several years before I can date again, and I cannot help that. If you do have the opportunity to put yourself out there and into the world then do so while you can. There might not be anything you can do differently about lost time but each day is a new opportunity to enjoy yourself and maybe broaden your horizons and social circle if you'd like.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I found dating to be far easier after college. I didn't have work and school, and I wasn't broke, and being 22 with a job, an apartment and an income, well let the party begin
During college you are surrounded by thousands of women in their prime years of looks and freedom, usually coming in to the university unattached (since they had to leave their high school boyfriend), and of course it's legal to date them since they're not your coworkers. It's open season in the dating market. Graduate college and it's completely closed. You won't be able to find someone who's compatible, even with the targeted searches you're able to do with online dating filters. The women you're attracted to have been snatched up, are unavailable.
Reason its easy at school is because its a small "universe" where everyone is sort of clumped together and living in a tiny "city". You see the same people, go to the same places, support the same teams, so its really easy to meet. But, if you think about it, you can do this same thing after college.
For me, there was no real difference between dating while in school and dating after school. I cant even tell you the number of women I met, gone on dates with, banged, developed great friendships with, etc. who I met just at local Starbucks, coffee shop, bookstores, martial arts school and gym. Now that I really think about it, it was actually more than while at school.
My advice to you is to just be open and friendly with everyone you meet. This includes ugly girls and even the ones who are "snatched up" as you call it. While they may be unavailable, if you are totally cool, nice, friendly, etc. they WILL set you up with their friends. Worst case scenario is that you make new friends. That is always a good thing.
My advice to you is to just be open and friendly with everyone you meet. This includes ugly girls and even the ones who are "snatched up" as you call it. While they may be unavailable, if you are totally cool, nice, friendly, etc. they WILL set you up with their friends. Worst case scenario is that you make new friends. That is always a good thing.
You'll never be surrounded with more unattached attractive women than in college
"Being surrounded by them" is not the same thing as them "being available". Just because you're surrounded by attractive women doesn't mean they want anything to do with you. If you're an observer, then sure, you can't beat college. But if you're a participant? Better after you graduate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I found dating to be far easier after college. I didn't have work and school, and I wasn't broke, and being 22 with a job, an apartment and an income, well let the party begin
This. It helps to know what you're looking for, but for me it got WAY easier after college. I was more marketable, I was more cultured, I had more money, and the women around me actually know what they're doing, both on dates and in bed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OvernightDelivery
What is better than college is living in a real urban city like San Fran, Philadelphia or NYC.
Also, this. There is an endless supply of women in major cities like this.
During college you are surrounded by thousands of women in their prime years of looks and freedom, usually coming in to the university unattached (since they had to leave their high school boyfriend), and of course it's legal to date them since they're not your coworkers. It's open season in the dating market. Graduate college and it's completely closed. You won't be able to find someone who's compatible, even with the targeted searches you're able to do with online dating filters. The women you're attracted to have been snatched up, are unavailable.
While this is broadly correct, you better nip this thinking in the bud now because you are currently in the NEXT BEST time for dating: the 10 years after college.
After that the difficulty sky-rockets and stays that way.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE
While this is broadly correct, you better nip this thinking in the bud now because you are currently in the NEXT BEST time for dating: the 10 years after college.
After that the difficulty sky-rockets and stays that way.
Oh, I would vehemently disagree with that. 20s were better than college years for sure, but I, and most people I know, had far more success and fun in our 30s that 20s. More dates, better dates, better sex, healthier relationships.
It's tapered some in my 40s, but that might just because my focus has changed.
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