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Agreed, I'm religious as well but I'm incredibly lenient. To the point where you can't even really tell. My family is religious as well...but there is not one person in my family that waited until marriage.
I used to say I was when I was a teenager but now....I just want to be in an exclusive relationship, or have a tight bond with the person. Even that seems unlikely since I hardly ever like anyone anymore. So waiting until marriage is a no go...because I don't even know if I will come across someone I want to marry, at least not for an extremely long time.
Coming across someone I am attracted and trust and vice verse is the hard part.
Agreed word for word. So, good for those who waited for marriage, found it, and lost the V-card to a partner, and the sex was good in the relationship. But I think it's rare that happens.
I have a totally different take on the article. It has nothing to do with her saving herself. It has to do with the church teaching her sex is shameful. Quite sad.
So glad that my spiritual life and Christian faith have been able to exist side by side with my healthy, normal, non-fraught-with-guilt sensibilities regarding my own sexuality. Also glad that my church never taught me that sex was shameful. We're not all repressed and damaged (nor are we all fanatics).
Wow. Six years of not even being able to cop a feel with your fiance.
How do religious nuts justify shaming two monogamous people that want to explore a normal part of being red blooded human beings that love each other BEFORE taking some vows?
For that matter, how do they justify shaming non-monogamous people or people who do not intend to take vows? It's all BS.
Agreed word for word. So, good for those who waited for marriage, found it, and lost the V-card to a partner, and the sex was good in the relationship. But I think it's rare that happens.
Indeed it does happen and the rarity of this unique situation is what makes it all the more a very special, desired and treasured experience for both "V's"
Our parents were not pushing for anything. But what my parents said be careful from unwanted pregnancies. But I have no disrespect for people who were virgins till they got married. My cousin sister is like that. But after three years of her marriage her husband divorced her. I am sure god might know why.
I have a totally different take on the article. It has nothing to do with her saving herself. It has to do with the church teaching her sex is shameful. Quite sad.
No one "taught" her that sex was shameful they merely said that sex before marriage is not acceptable.
There is a vast difference and it is not anyone's fault but her own that she did not ask questions until she understood the difference.
She said in the article that she did not know where to draw the line, that is when she should have started asking questions.
She is the one who felt shamed and guilty after having sex on her wedding night after she had been "taught" all those years that sex was good after marriage.
It is all too easy to blame other's for whatever issues come along even though the one with the issues should have started asking questions about anything they doubted or did not completely understand.
Just another "I have issues because of what my parents did to me" wanting attention story.
I think the article reflects the viewing on one person and not the thinking of a community.
If you want to save yourself for marriage do it because you think is the right thing to do. Don't do it for pressure or to impress anybody. Sure every man's fantasy (almost) is to marry a virgin. But for today's standards that's not even possible anymore. Personally? I don't care about the sexual past of my girlfriend, as long as she is clear that is the PAST.
No real christian community will censor a woman for having sex with her husband. In fact the christian marriage is not official (consumate) until they have sex. So the thinking on the article is really biased.
I dated a 36 years old virgin when I was 30 years old. I respected her and her decision of not having sex until marriage but she was a deppression patient. She was religious as well, but she was saving herself because her dad told her to do so when she was a little girl and she didn't want to dissapoint him. I'm not saying both things (deppresion and virginity) are related but usually when you do thing to "please" others, you aren't really helping yourself either.
Do it for conviction if you want to. But don't let others dictate your life.
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How do religious nuts justify shaming two monogamous people that want to explore a normal part of being red blooded human beings that love each other BEFORE taking some vows?
