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Um ok I agree with it in the beginning, but if you know him and he's doing it....it can be kinda hot.
Sure, if we've started dating and have gotten more chummy. Otherwise, right off the bat, I don't want the showered with compliments crap. I am all for sweet-talk and wooing, after some dates, and seems like a moving relationship.
I have had guys flirt, or seem interested, only to never ask me out. So, those words were apparently empty, or just being nice, or joking around to see how I would respond. I have had lots of women compliment me. But it all seems empty. So I have had me fill of it.
Compliments get nowhere with me. I don't take them seriously. I give a smile and thank-you, of course. A woman doing my nails says how beautiful I am. Nice of her, but I don't hold much weight on it. Approaching, acting like you wanna talk, and get to know me goes further than the compliments & wooing. Save those for later.
Walk up to a woman and introduce yourself, give whatever compliment you want or ask her a question besides "Can I get your number".
Then see where the conversation leads, if possible after a bit of conversing ask if she would like to go and get a coffee or an ice cream, walk with you through the park, just do something.
Sure, if we've started dating and have gotten more chummy. Otherwise, right off the bat, I don't want the showered with compliments crap. I am all for sweet-talk and wooing, after some dates, and seems like a moving relationship.
I have had guys flirt, or seem interested, only to never ask me out. So, those words were apparently empty, or just being nice, or joking around to see how I would respond. I have had lots of women compliment me. But it all seems empty. So I have had me fill of it.
Compliments get nowhere with me. I don't take them seriously. I give a smile and thank-you, of course. A woman doing my nails says how beautiful I am. Nice of her, but I don't hold much weight on it. Approaching, acting like you wanna talk, and get to know me goes further than the compliments & wooing. Save those for later.
I agree with those who said to just come up and start a conversation. And if you can throw in something to make me laugh, that's a plus.
As far as compliments...in my opinion it depends on the actual compliment. If a man comes up and starts blathering on and on about general stuff, I can get skeptical. However, If he were to say,"I like that color shirt you have on, looks good with your skin." Or notices a piece of jewelry I am wearing, then that is a good thing. Something specific. And hearing that I have a great smile never gets old.
Because in the situation that I outlined, all those signals being present indicates the odds are with him. Maybe you missed out on part of the exchange we had going.
There is no right answer for how to approach women. You just do. Some will like it.....some will not. Just the nature of the beast.
If you do decide to give a complement make it different from what a typical guy would say.
I only complement things I like on a woman...such as her hair color, earrings, nail color, or lipstick color, watch, necklace, etc.
I almost always get a smile when I focus on these things. Rarely do I mention anything related to body composition. Women with nice bodies know they have nice bodies and get complemented on that all the time. Make sure you mean it and women will respond.
Don't waste a whole lot of talking.
Complement, introduce yourself, get her name and get straight to the point of your intentions.
Not easy to do. Shouldn't take more than 5-10 mins max to let her know you are interested and to exchange numbers.
If she is curious she will respond favorably to your conversation.
OP, you don't have to open with compliments. Almost anything can be an opener, but it's best to keep the topic appropriate to the situation. So, at the bookstore (in check-out line, or just browsing): "I love bookstores! Do you know what author they have scheduled to speak this week?" In line at the grocery: "I'm so glad the opened this branch store in this neighborhood! It's so much more convenient than the other location." (ANYTHING to get a convo started!) Or (after glancing in her basket): "Is that a good brand of (chocolate, guacamole, olives, coffee, whatever)? I haven't seen that before."
More generically, you can make it about the weather, if there's been a sudden change. "That thundershower was so refreshing yesterday! I didn't think we'd see rain ever again!" (After a drought of whatever duration)
If you notice an unusual piece of jewelry she's wearing, or she's wearing a T-shirt with nice artwork or an unusual slogan, you can compliment that, and ask where it's from. This will open the convo up to her possibly talking about travel or an interesting event she attended.
It's just to get a conversation going. It doesn't have to be brilliant. Some of the most mundane comments sometimes can be very successful. It's all in how you say it.
Just speaking for myself, but I've found that women tend to be more receptive to me if I just chatted casually with them like a normal courteous person. In other words, when I was just being myself and had a positive attitude. No corny one liners, no forced attempts at humor, nothing like that. Just said hi, maybe make a comment about the venue or whatever and just try to let it flow from there. If something witty came to mind naturally that fit contextually or situationally, then I rolled with that. Conversations can go in a hundred different directions and it's better if you can roll with it and minimize the steering. Many interactions were merely pleasant interactions to pass the time, some led to friendships, some led to flirting and dates. Yeah, occasionally I might not phrase something quite right or have the occasional stumble or brief moment of awkwardness. As long as I laugh it off and put it behind me, most women didn't seem to care. Better to be slightly awkward every now and then rather than a fake or a poser.
I tend to be cautious with compliments. Very easy for them to come off unnatural and not genuine. I try to only do that when it makes sense within the surrounding context and even then I try not to overdo it or get overly hyperbolic.
It's better NOT to be strategic or tactical about this stuff. Cut the crap and just interact with them like a normal person. And read body language and recognize when she wants to be left alone.
Just speaking for myself, but I've found that women tend to be more receptive to me if I just chatted casually with them like a normal courteous person. In other words, when I was just being myself and had a positive attitude.
DING DING DING DING DING!
Quote:
Originally Posted by GravityMan;
Just said hi, maybe make a comment about the venue or whatever and just try to let it flow from there. If something witty came to mind naturally that fit contextually or situationally, then I rolled with that. Conversations can go in a hundred different directions and it's better if you can roll with it and minimize the steering. Many interactions were merely pleasant interactions to pass the time, some led to friendships, some led to flirting and dates. Yeah, occasionally I might not phrase something quite right or have the occasional stumble or brief moment of awkwardness. As long as I laugh it off and put it behind me, most women didn't seem to care. Better to be slightly awkward every now and then rather than a fake or a poser.
I tend to be cautious with compliments. Very easy for them to come off unnatural and not genuine. I try to only do that when it makes sense within the surrounding context and even then I try not to overdo it or get overly hyperbolic.
It's better NOT to be strategic or tactical about this stuff. Cut the crap and just interact with them like a normal person. And read body language and recognize when she wants to be left alone.
Flirting 101 It should be fairly effortless, and start out with only the expectation of sharing a casual chat to pass the time. Don't load it down with the burden of high expectations. Then you'll never manage to say anything, you'll be allowing the situation to intimidate you. But if things start clicking, go with it. Don't try to impress, just let the conversation evolve naturally.
"Hows everything?" "What crazy stuff you up to this weekend?" "Happy (insert day of the week)"
Be positive, fun, smiling, "up", but also relaxed, comfortable in your skin and surrounding environment.
No compliments. They are played out.
Last edited by tofur; 11-11-2014 at 04:28 PM..
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It should be fairly effortless, and start out with only the expectation of sharing a casual chat to pass the time. Don't load it down with the burden of high expectations. Then you'll never manage to say anything, you'll be allowing the situation to intimidate you. But if things start clicking, go with it. Don't try to impress, just let the conversation evolve naturally.
