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So, on top of my real life dating drama, I actually had the (not so) great idea to go back to online dating.
I've been exchanging messages with a man for about three days now.
On his profile picture he's wearing sunglasses so I couldn't see his face properly. He seemed alright so I thought why not talk to him. I may have gotten carried away ... just a little.
He sent me a picture and I have to admit, on top of not feeling the actual chemistry while talking to him, I now understand why my intuition told me I'd be wasting my time. He's basically everything I do not want in a man (physically speaking).
Sure, I could give him a shot but he lives far away so it's not worth the hassle. He's been messaging me all day and I haven't responded because his pictures literally turned me off completely. He been checking my profile about once per hour.
I don't want to disappear because that would hurt his feelings as he'd assume I don't find him attractive (rightly so).
I want to let him down gently without hurting his ego. I wouldn't want to be rejected based on these grounds myself. Hence, I feel bad for him.
What can I say?
IF I were the guy, I'd want you to flat out say what you want, and do it quickly...be as polite as you can be while being truthful and be done with it.
This expectation is unrealistic. Of course you are going to hurt his feelings, he will deeply resent this and you will have to experience the bad karma that you have coming your way for it. There’s nothing you can do about it.
I highly doubt I'm going to experience "bad karma" for telling someone the truth.
As someone said, I would attract "bad karma" if I were to string him along, pretending I'm into him. It's definitely not the case here. Disappearing would cause "bad karma". Honesty? Never.
If we get "bad karma" each time we reject someone politely, we'll never see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's unrealistic.
Besides, how can you resent someone you only exchanged 8 messages with? We've never been on a date!
It's far more hurtful when someone disappears after 4 dates. I can't picture anyone getting hurt over something so insignificant.
Come up with any kind of jive bs, but don't say it's because of his looks... Just say something like you're just not feeling it like you should or the classic, it's not you, it me horse pucky that some people say.
It would be like dumping a guy cause his schawnz is too small... it's would be hard to recover from something like that...
You need to tell him clearly that you're not interested, and goodbye and good luck.
DO NOT try to be nice about it (but don't be purposely mean either -- just be direct).
And I cannot emphasize, DO NOT continue trying to stay friends with him. Tell him no ONCE and disappear on him for good.
Learn from my mistakes. I tried to be nice and I tried to be friends, and as a result, two years later, here I am having to go to the police to file a stalking report.
This expectation is unrealistic. Of course you are going to hurt his feelings, he will deeply resent this and you will have to experience the bad karma that you have coming your way for it. There’s nothing you can do about it.
Yeah. Because all men are just that fragile, and a woman finding a man unattractive is totally malicious in intent and deserves karmic payback. What would be fitting punishment for a woman thinking a man is fug? A pox of armpit fleas?
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