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So, on top of my real life dating drama, I actually had the (not so) great idea to go back to online dating.
I've been exchanging messages with a man for about three days now.
On his profile picture he's wearing sunglasses so I couldn't see his face properly. He seemed alright so I thought why not talk to him. I may have gotten carried away ... just a little.
He sent me a picture and I have to admit, on top of not feeling the actual chemistry while talking to him, I now understand why my intuition told me I'd be wasting my time. He's basically everything I do not want in a man (physically speaking).
Sure, I could give him a shot but he lives far away so it's not worth the hassle. He's been messaging me all day and I haven't responded because his pictures literally turned me off completely. He been checking my profile about once per hour.
I don't want to disappear because that would hurt his feelings as he'd assume I don't find him attractive (rightly so).
I want to let him down gently without hurting his ego. I wouldn't want to be rejected based on these grounds myself. Hence, I feel bad for him.
What can I say?
Last edited by LostinPhilly; 11-12-2014 at 05:57 PM..
If he persists for specifics, just tell him you do not find him physically attractive and that is important for you. Don't make him feel shamed for not possessing the qualities he doesn't have that are out of his control. Just lay it out there as a matter of fact.
Don't butter up the truth. Let the cards lay where they want to fall
Alternatively Say exactly what you said here: not feeling the chemistry, not physically attracted
Apologize for getting caught up
3. You can just ignore him and hope he leaves you alone
Out of the 3 I would go with 1.
I'm getting a feeling you fall into the type of person that gives into social pressures. No one is going to chastise you for living your life how you feel (unless of course you go around violating other peoples rights and laws). Tell it how it is, don't be afraid of how you feel, start living life for you.
All you can say is, you're just not feeling any chemistry, or you don't think anything will work out in the end, due to distance, and real life issues. If those don't sound like good excuses, you can just not reply, and he'll get the hint. it may hurt his feelings, but there won't be any hassle or bad words said.
Rejection hurts no matter how you try to dress it up. In the end, you're not interested, so you can ghost, or outright tell him, "I don't think it'll work." If he pushes for more info, then you could get more blunt that he looks aren't appealing. He asked.
Tell him he's unattractive and you don't like him. What's wrong with being direct?
Becuase I would assume, as she says "I may have gotten carried away"
Meaning she treated him like a prospect and than came to her senses as the reality caught up with her.
She already feels bad, she doesn't want to make it even worse
But I agree, there isn't no need to dance around the subject. You can be direct without being a "B"
I want to be polite. Rejection is hard to handle, I don't want it to be rude.
Then again, I don't want him to come back in 3 weeks asking me if I changed my mind. It has to be sharp. There's no hope left.
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