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Old 11-15-2014, 11:28 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,261 times
Reputation: 10

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Hey everyone, I'm in a bit of a situation with my bf and I'm really not sure what to do. For the most part, we're extremely happy with each other and our sex life is great. We have only been with each other for 3 months but the bond we've developed is strong and we would do anything for each other. However, I recently found out that he has a porn addiction and I'm absolutely devastated over it. I know porn has become so commonplace in our society and that we are often told to "just accept" that our partners will watch it. At first, I was a bit uneasy with it but I've become okay with him viewing porn videos. What I'm hurt by is the fact that his obsession seems to be excessive and seems to have gone past videos. I've confronted him about it and he admits that videos simply aren't doing it for him anymore. Honestly, I feel a bit concerned that it's gotten to that point that he's become desensitized...but anyway...

I've found that he watches live webcams of girls, though he denies chatting with them or interacting with them. I can't explain it but knowing that there's a real live person at the end of the other line makes a difference to me. Again, I can't pinpoint the distinction between a webcam and a video but there somehow is one in my head and it deeply upsets me. Maybe someone can help me out here? I've also found out that he enjoys trading nudes with anonymous strangers online. That, to me, doesn't seem like something a man in a relationship should be doing. The one-on-one interaction component of this just seems to violate the exclusivity of our relationship and I'm deeply disturbed that he's sharing his body with someone else other than me. Also, he chats with girls on Omegle and Kik. I honestly hadn't heard of these sites before but after googling them, I am suspecting that the chats are of a sexual nature but he swears that they're not...

We've had a long talk about it and he says that he's incredibly sorry and never meant to hurt me intentionally. He says he didn't think about me while he was doing these things- as if that's supposed to make me feel better- but isn't the fact that he's not mindful of my feelings a problem in and of itself? He tells me it won't ever happen again but I'm reluctant to believe that it's that easy of a habit to correct.

Anyway, I think I am just at a loss for words. I am deeply in love with this man. I don't know how to proceed. Is this okay behavior since no physical cheating happened? Have we become so progressive that this sort of thing has become acceptable and I'm just old-fashioned? I am torn between my heart and my brain and I would just appreciate any sort of advice or guidance on the matter. Thanks in advance...
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,682,223 times
Reputation: 25361
In all honesty dump the pig.He is doing shat a single man may do.Do you want a future with a cheater? He is giving nudes to other ladies! And looking at them too.But it should just be you and him exchanging.

It really looks bad I'm sorry.
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:48 AM
 
1,285 posts, read 1,281,572 times
Reputation: 1730
You already know the answer, I'm sure the argument that it's harmless since there is no touching...no in person interaction. Here's a great way to find out how "harmless" it is....tell him exhibitionism is something you are curious about. Tell him you want to go on the same site he is on, and do the same with other guys....see what he says
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,579,270 times
Reputation: 98359
You are not wrong. This kind of porn addiction is no joke. He's not discussing the Middle East with those girls.

Dump him.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Missouri
6,044 posts, read 24,021,702 times
Reputation: 5182
Yuck! Be glad you found this out only 3 months into the relationship. Yes it'll hurt now but MOVE ON... you will be grateful you did in the long run.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:40 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,596,459 times
Reputation: 54727
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014 View Post
You already know the answer, I'm sure the argument that it's harmless since there is no touching...no in person interaction. Here's a great way to find out how "harmless" it is....tell him exhibitionism is something you are curious about. Tell him you want to go on the same site he is on, and do the same with other guys....see what he says
That's a good response!
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Old 11-15-2014, 01:09 PM
 
833 posts, read 653,279 times
Reputation: 1341
I am a guy and no I don't approve of such behavior if your significant other objects to it.

Drop him
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Old 11-15-2014, 01:25 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,058 posts, read 18,220,575 times
Reputation: 37120
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014 View Post
You already know the answer, I'm sure the argument that it's harmless since there is no touching...no in person interaction. Here's a great way to find out how "harmless" it is....tell him exhibitionism is something you are curious about. Tell him you want to go on the same site he is on, and do the same with other guys....see what he says

This, and then dump him.
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Old 11-15-2014, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,627 posts, read 34,103,329 times
Reputation: 76624
It's been three months. This guy isn't the love of your life, so it's time to cut him loose.
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Old 11-15-2014, 01:38 PM
 
6,005 posts, read 4,754,084 times
Reputation: 14470
The love of your life wouldn't be disrespectful and hurt your feelings.

Protect yourself and demand respect. He doesn't seem to be giving you or your feelings much thought. You deserve better.
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