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Old 11-16-2014, 01:26 PM
 
Location: CO
2,453 posts, read 3,591,280 times
Reputation: 5267

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This is one of the tawdriest posts I've ever read. Problem is I can't "un-read" it. Low-life at its finest.

 
Old 11-16-2014, 01:31 PM
 
23 posts, read 29,752 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post

Your poor GF must be wondering in horror what kind of man she chose to have a child with!
I haven't mistreated our son so I can't see why she would think that. Our relationship is a different issue.
 
Old 11-16-2014, 01:33 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,662,335 times
Reputation: 54735
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMBman View Post
I haven't mistreated our son so I can't see why she would think that. Our relationship is a different issue.
So what aspects of caring for your 1-year old are confusing to you?
 
Old 11-16-2014, 01:44 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMBman View Post
I don't know certain details like she does, I'm afraid of not doing it right, etc.
You know how to learn to do things you're afraid of not doing right? You do them. You ask a more experienced person to show you, and you just do it. Practice makes perfect.

Fortunately for you, you have a more experienced person to ask right there at home with you! Amazing! And she's been there all year long, just waiting for you to ask. Even more amazing!
 
Old 11-16-2014, 01:50 PM
 
6,005 posts, read 4,770,674 times
Reputation: 14470
If my husband approached me and said, "Hey, I asked a lady at work to come over and have sex with us!" I'd flip the f*** out. I would assume that he already was having sex with this person and I'd feel very betrayed.

IF there was any indication on your girlfriend's part that she'd be even remotely interested in a threesome, you still should have talked to HER about it first.

What a mess.
 
Old 11-16-2014, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,118,175 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels View Post
If my husband approached me and said, "Hey, I asked a lady at work to come over and have sex with us!" I'd flip the f*** out. I would assume that he already was having sex with this person and I'd feel very betrayed.

IF there was any indication on your girlfriend's part that she'd be even remotely interested in a threesome, you still should have talked to HER about it first.

What a mess.
I'm not sure I would assume he was already having sex with her - but I'd assume that he wanted to and had already thought about it.

Fortunately, my husband isn't a complete moron.
 
Old 11-16-2014, 01:58 PM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,686,401 times
Reputation: 26197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
I'm not sure I would assume he was already having sex with her - but I'd assume that he wanted to and had already thought about it.

Fortunately, my husband isn't a complete moron.
Most men are not that stupid. Some are a complete disgrace to the male gender.
 
Old 11-16-2014, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Kingstowne, VA
2,402 posts, read 3,634,805 times
Reputation: 2931
Thats very disrespectful. I think you should have talked with your partner about other ideas for romance between the two of you. I'd never trust you again after basically asking some other woman to have sex. That's the same as saying you want to cheat on her. Not only was it disrespectful and offensive, but completely disrrgarding how your partner would feel about you asking to have sex with someone else instead of keeping it between the two of you. How could you be so careless and believe you are justified?
 
Old 11-16-2014, 02:17 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,625,050 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMBman View Post
Why should she be the one choosing? I would obviously present her my colleague and if she didn't like her, we would try to find another one. Both should do the choosing.
To assuage her fears that you will like the other woman more than you like her. You did it backwards. Now she has to deal with the fact that you propositioned a woman you work with, someone she may not have even thought of as a threat before. Please tell me you didn't tell your girlfriend that this woman is "frisky" at work.

Is your girlfriend bisexual? If not, I think FMF is going to be a hard sell for you.
 
Old 11-16-2014, 02:24 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
Thats very disrespectful. I think you should have talked with your partner about other ideas for romance between the two of you. I'd never trust you again after basically asking some other woman to have sex. That's the same as saying you want to cheat on her. Not only was it disrespectful and offensive, but completely disrrgarding how your partner would feel about you asking to have sex with someone else instead of keeping it between the two of you. How could you be so careless and believe you are justified?
I'm still trying to figure out how bringing home a bimbo for the bedroom was supposed to "help" the non-wife (gf) with her baby exhaustion/sleep deprivation issues. For all we know, his gf, when well rested, is a dynamo in the BR. He's never given her a chance to recover her mood and libido, to see what would happen, before he judged her as needing "spicing up". How unfair is that?


OP, mere apology isn't enough in a situation like this. Serious groveling needs to happen, serious self-deprecation. Then ASK her what you can do to help, to share the burden. Learn how to handle the baby, and offer her a day off to go to lunch with her friends or go shopping or whatever. Suggest building in days off and an occasional weekend off for the two of you. Make it clear you're turning over a new leaf. Tell her you really screwed up, and you'd like to reconnect with her after this first intense year, and help out more.

Also be prepared for the fact that she may not want to talk to you much until she recovers from this bizarre blow you dealt her. You may have to eat crow. Just brace yourself for it, and take your lumps if you get blowback.

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 11-16-2014 at 03:38 PM..
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