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As someone who's still a virgin I was hoping to hide it the first time I have sex. I mean why make things awkward (especially since I'm way past the age where being a virgin is normal)? But I was wondering if you eventually start having a relationship with somebody, is this something I would have to talk about? Have you and your SO ever talked about how you lost your virginity? Or has it simply never come up?
No, never have. I really don't even remember so it must have been pretty forgettable. I don't ever discuss previous partners when I am with someone and I never ask about theirs. I really don't see what the point is to be honest.
The jaded, old pros on this forum are giving the OP bad advice. I'm a little more sensitive to the issue, because I have kissed away the tears on some little birds with broken wings.
For most people it's ancient history about an event from a very long time ago. You might as well be talking about the first time you got lost in faraway town, or how you stayed home alone while he cool kids were at prom or the homecoming dance.
DONT bring it up unless you are specifically asked about it. "Let sleeping dogs lie". You learn quick, and then you can decide if it's irrelevant or not.
You won't be able to "conceal" your inexperience. Unless you are a really good actor/actress. But I can tell you are not, just by posting the question.
SOME people enjoy talking about it, reliving the memories. But only with a person open to hearing the details. You're LUCKY if you find someone who cares to that degree about your feelings and experience.
The world is FULL of people whose attitude is "I'm here to get mine b^$#h, I don't tolerate that talkin, you're ruining my high."
Ok, so I'm not necessarily super experienced in the topic, but I disagree with a lot of these comments.
First, whoever said women will probably bleed and/or will have a painful experience is completely wrong. If you do it right, sex the first time should be, at most, a bit uncomfortable.
Second, I disagree with the comment about never taking about old sex partners with current ones. In some cases it's necessary to get to know each other as well as to be aware about possible exposure to STIs.
Now to answer your question, you don't necessarily need to tell her it's your first time, do so if she asks. But don't worry too much about the issue. Go with the flow, enjoy it, and it being your first time doesn't have to be a big deal, unless you make it out to be.
A lot of the people commenting seem to be older and more experienced so I see why they don't touch the topic with their partners. I'm a young college student with a very small amount of partners who just recently lost her virginity so I'm always curious about other people's first times and tend to ask every guy I sleep with. It's usually in an airy way, as in "so how was your first time?" I'm usually also curious about age, though they're under no obligation to share with me if they don't want to.
I doubt my husband would want details of my first time anymore than I would want details of his. I feel like we shared with one another how old we each were when we lost it (we got married in our upper thirties/lower forties, so such events were far in our respective pasts), but beyond that, no details.
Well I'm not really sure what else to do? I mean tell her and make it awkward or probably even convince her to reject me? Or just power through and hopefully it all goes well?
Unless you have a hooker lined up, you're not even in a relationship let alone a position to be sexual, so why freak out about this whole virginity fetish you have.
Ancient history - more than 30 years ago! Does anyone really care at this point? I'd say a lot of men might remember the experience but not the woman...maybe women remember a little more but unless it was somehow traumatic, why does your present SO need to hear about it except perhaps in passing?
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