Guy doesn't know I'm fat, should I meet him? (dating, woman, love)
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I used to go on okcupid a lot and had multiple pictures up, a couple that included my whole body. I am not in good shape, at all. I used to have a more detailed profile too. So several months ago when I had these pictures up I was talking to this guy, we got along great and had planned to meet up but I felt so insecure and chickened out because I didn't want him to see how fat I am. Btw I didn't stand him up, cancelled the day before. I have actually met several guys from the site before but usually before we meet up I ask them something like you've seen all my pictures...right? Because I'm ridiculously insecure, ugh. So it just didn't really come up with him and I was too embarrassed to go meet him :/
This was probably around January, if not even longer ago. I got sick of online dating and disabled my profile for many months. I just reactivated it again at the end of October. A lot of things in my life have changed, and the pics are now old too. So I deleted all of them and just put up.a face picture and rewrote short sections for my profile. I may eventually add more pics or expand my profile but I'm just not into it the way I was before, I don't care that much.
So anyway...this same guy contacted me this week, as if we'd never talked before. We are talking about different things now but still great conversation and get along really well. I want to meet up with him but now all I have on there is the up close picture. He's not in perfect shape, but I'm definitely bigger than him. Should I bring it up somehow (how???) or just not say anything and meet up? I don't want to be a disappointment if we do meet up.
You should work on learning to love your body the way it is or work to change it, if that's what will make you feel proud about it.
We can tell you that if you want to represent yourself accurately in your profile, then post updated body shots. But that's not the problem here. This guy seems to be fine with your weight if this is the second time he's contacting you. Even if he thinks you're another woman, that supports the likeliness that he's fine with your body type. It's not cool you set a date with him only to cancel because of your own insecurities. Focus on self-esteem so it doesn't continue to sabotage your dating life.
There's just no reason to obsess about your weight when it comes to finding someone who will love you the way you are...not if you're open and clear about it in your profile.
dont feel bad lots of girls do this
did i ever tell you about my blonde cutie from nashville?
when i finally took the plunge bought a ticket to nashville flew out to meet
her
there she was in the parking lot, quasimoto.
you think i make this stuff up dontcha?
I used to go on okcupid a lot and had multiple pictures up, a couple that included my whole body. I am not in good shape, at all. I used to have a more detailed profile too. So several months ago when I had these pictures up I was talking to this guy, we got along great and had planned to meet up but I felt so insecure and chickened out because I didn't want him to see how fat I am. Btw I didn't stand him up, cancelled the day before. I have actually met several guys from the site before but usually before we meet up I ask them something like you've seen all my pictures...right? Because I'm ridiculously insecure, ugh. So it just didn't really come up with him and I was too embarrassed to go meet him :/
This was probably around January, if not even longer ago. I got sick of online dating and disabled my profile for many months. I just reactivated it again at the end of October. A lot of things in my life have changed, and the pics are now old too. So I deleted all of them and just put up.a face picture and rewrote short sections for my profile. I may eventually add more pics or expand my profile but I'm just not into it the way I was before, I don't care that much.
So anyway...this same guy contacted me this week, as if we'd never talked before. We are talking about different things now but still great conversation and get along really well. I want to meet up with him but now all I have on there is the up close picture. He's not in perfect shape, but I'm definitely bigger than him. Should I bring it up somehow (how???) or just not say anything and meet up? I don't want to be a disappointment if we do meet up.
Put a recent photo on your profile and see what happens. If he wants to meet you he will stay in contact and set up the meeting, if not then he won't.
Just keep in mind though something my Grandmother taught me many years ago.
She said: "If you cannot be happy with yourself you cannot be happy with someone else".
I met with a girl from OKcupid who showed up 50lbs heavier than she was in her pics. I still had a few drinks and talked to her normal, but I was a little disappointed and felt like I was tricked.
She was nice looking for a bigger girl and if I was big myself I wouldn't have had a problem with it, but I'm not that big a guy so I wasn't very comfortable.
Don't hide your weight. Yes, many guys may not be attracted to you because of it. This is REAL LIFE. Not tumblr. But I can count on guy's hand with no fingers how many times showing up to a date where he thinks you're not fat works out in a fat chick favor.
You owe it to yourself to properly represent yourself. Everyone is different, some guys like tiny, while other's enjoy substance. If you are waiting to get guys to reply to your ad, it's important to be honest about your looks. I'm aware that guys are the same way, so I like to skype before meeting in person, it's in both parties interest to do so.....if they don't want to, chances are they are not who they say they are....
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