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I read mostly men here crying about their standards and inability to attract a woman they are attracted to themselves.....I believe that only the young, under 25 naturally will have these standards. By the time they are 25 most will have enough experience to teach them that the most important feature of a woman, is a feature you can't see when you first meet. Those are the features that sustain a relationship. They are not only learned over time, but are allowed to be shared over time as well.....I think if you are over 25 with those same standards, that you are a slow learner...
Well said. I was finding similar expectations from men in their mid- and late-20s. It happened often enough to lead me to upping my minimum age range preference.
Sex is a lot different when someone is sleeping with you for your body than when they're sleeping with you for that inconspicuous something you find in your partner over time.
Glad a beautiful woman like Oh Eve finally could break out of her shell and realize that there are many great men who fall outside the male model criteria.
actually, the height was the only male model criteria all my exes had. They had to be at least my height.
It was the ONLY physical trait I was stubborn on. I dated the fat, the thin, the bald, the half blind and only about two hot guys. My friends even said they weren't hot, so I guess I am the half blind one.
I agree with this, not saying we should not have any standards, but we should be realistic also. If I do not want to date a woman is 65 years old, nothing wrong with it considering that I am going on 28, so no one will fault me for it. But if I meet a woman in my age range, educated, and fits my personality and physical type, bar her breast size and I reject her for it, then I am being irrational. Her breasts being smaller than my "ideal" does not mean our relationship is doomed. Just like a woman dating a man under 6' does not mean it is doomed either. Sometimes we dismiss people on trivial things, and we miss out on something potentially good.
Of course it should start with physical attraction and we should have standards, but we need to be rational. The person we are with are not necessarily our "soul mate", it is just that we gave each other a chance and we happened to meet. There are many people out there you are better than our spouses, but we have not met them, or we passed them up. Like an employer who passes someone up for another, does not mean the person hired will turn out better, many times it does not. We just gave that person a chance and the other not.
Height/Weight proportionate. I am super fit and working out is a passion of mine. If I would only date women that worked out as much as I did I would eliminate 95+% of the dating pool. I'm not even asking that she works out, just height/weight proportionate.
Not crazy.
Not bad with money.
Needs to meet minimum physical attraction requirements. Not looking for models only. Bottom line if I'm not attracted to her then the best we can be is friends. Liking someone without sexual attraction is the definition of what a friend is.
Age range 25-35.
Wants to have kids, preferably doesn't have any kids yet. If she has kids it can't be more then one. Not looking for an instant family here.
I don't think that is asking for too much, it is far less then what most women want in a man.
Things that I do not care about:
Her education level
Her occupation (as long as she isn't a porn star or hooker) yes I could date a stripper, I'm not the jealous type.
Her income
Whether she has a car or not
Where she lives (as long as she is within 30 minutes) Apartment, her own mansion, don't care.
Her height
Color of her eyes or hair. I am most attracted to blonde hair and blue eyes but not a requirement. Just bonus points.
Whether or not she has big boobs
Nothing is set in stone. If she is exceptional then I make exceptions for exceptional women.
Great list, and I think you are not asking for much. Though there are some out there, it is good to have standards, while being moderate and flexible.
actually, the height was the only male model criteria all my exes had. They had to be at least my height.
It was the ONLY physical trait I was stubborn on. I dated the fat, the thin, the bald, the half blind and only about two hot guys. My friends even said they weren't hot, so I guess I am the half blind one.
Date who you love, not who your friends tell you who is attractive or whom their approval is dependent upon. Too many relationships today are based on societal approval rather than a romantic connection or the substance between two individuals. I remember how I was told even by other guys not to date that girl because she was "Ugly" or "Stupid", etc, etc. People who make their judgments on other people's assessments (most ignorant) are not really worthy of finding a special person whom with they, themselves, can cherish, respect and be bonded. Not to sound biased, but I think men, more than women are willing to push aside their egos, reservations and criticisms of the opposite gender if they feel they are relationship material, which is becoming less and less common these days. Lot of guys end up with the woman you least expect in a relationship, whereas many women I meet keep chasing after that special guy who ends up screwing them. It seems the more in demand a man is, the more women gravitate to him.
Oh yeah, I have also learned one other thing from years of analyzing character traits and relationships. Women who are even mediocre looking, but who most men consider real easy-going, friendly and "lovable" tend to end up being even more popular and adored by guys than the snotty, high-minded, sexy diva kind of girls, who think their crap smells like roses. Most men are utterly turned on by friendly girls who can even relate to them, on the man level. Maybe, not quite tom-boyish, but just a girl who gets along with guys and understand their mindset. Basically, friendly/mediocre girls have much higher chance of long-lasting relationships/marriage and tend to have more male suitors then sexy/stuck-up girls who feel that the world revolves around them.
P.S.
Short, bald guys are the sexiest, BTW.. DOn't ask me how I know..
Last edited by RotseCherut; 11-18-2014 at 04:51 PM..
Man, Auraliea, I think you deserve your own cult following where you charge people $3,000 for a seminar on how to not give a hoot. It's really the stress-free route to go...letting things happen for themselves. When you're not trying to force it, there's nothing to get angry, bitter, or resentful about.
There's just so many people that let themselves grow jaded with every bad-to-decent date and think that's part of dating. It can be fun. Or if not, it's okay to be single, too.
Lol I'm not sure about all that, but it would easier if people didn't care so much.
Most people I know met the folks they ended up with by chance, not by having an impossible list of credentials. You fall for, who you fall for. That's that.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014
Reading through some of the threads here, I have to wonder, if many have never been taught how to find a partner. I've always been under the assumption that if you see someone who attracts you, that you approach them. Try to start up a conversation, and observe the way they react to you. If it is positive, you ask them out. Over time, you can get to know someone, sometimes growing much closer to them, sometimes not. If you begin to have feelings for them, you bring it up, tell them. If it's mutual, you can seriously have a exclusive relationship. The time can differ depending on the initial attraction, and the speed of your connection. The more intense the chemistry, the faster you want to commit.
It seems like a lot of people have some sort of list. The list has a number of qualities that must be met before they will agree to date someone. I've read things like "I'd rather be alone, then settle" "should I just give up, because no one I am attracted to is attracted to me" REALLY?????
I don't know how a person can say something so ridiculous.....The only qualities they could possibly have are physical ones. It takes time to find out the most important ones in a person. The qualities that will keep two people together for years to come.
If you want to only date the your "hail mary" that's fine, but lets not fool ourselves in calling it something it's not....It's not having high standards, it's setting the bar so high, that you take yourself out of the game.....just admit you are happy being alone, instead of building the ever growing resentment, that a weird legion of awkward males are festering. You know who you are!
OP, no sale. I'm sorry but if you cannot meet a very simple list of preferences I have physically, economically, and personality wise, I am not going to waste my time trying to date you. End of story.
I'm going to a college party. Yet, I'm kind of nervous because I know hot girls will be there. Not used to doing this.
Why be nervous if there's hot girls? That is a good thing. Just have fun, be natural, and don't feel like you have to hit on girls. Just have fun and talk.
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