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No he hasn't been upfront with her. He has used her. He is using her desperate desire to be involved with him as a means to get close to her and have sex. Afterwards, when she is looking for signs that he really is the friend he claims to be, he starts whining about being smothered and pressured. He wants to be left alone after he has been able to obtain what he wants. She gives him everything he wants, and then when he has had his fill, he plays mind games with her that keeps her upset and anxious. SOME FRIEND.
If he wanted her as a friend WHY did he even bring up being sexually attracted to her? Coming onto her under the guise of being emotionally vulnerable and honest with her. Nasty business. If he had a vagina, someone would have called him a "tease" by now!
Why would he come at her like that? Because he is too much of a punk to simply say, "I want sex from you and I want to be free to see other women. I know you want me, but I don't care" There. That would be brutal honesty that I, as a woman would deeply respect, as horrible as his attitude sounds to me. He's a wolf who wants to hang out in a sheep costume because he likes looking like Mr. Nice Guy (whose is NOT like all the other guys).
You're interpreting the situation much differently than I do. He hasn't "used her" at all, quite the opposite. Even when the OP offered herself up to him on a platter, ("no strings attached", "let's just meet and see how it goes" yada, yada) he backed way off, saying that he didn't want to be a ***. Sounds to me like he could have easily taken what she was offering but he chose not to.
The OP wasn't clear but I suspect that he isn't the one who brought up the subject of them being sexually attracted to each other. Based on my impression of the OP, she probably brought it up and came right out and asked him. What was he suppose to say? Of course, when asked, he is going to tell her that she is attractive. What kind of man would tell a woman that she isn't attractive?
He feels smothered because she has been pressuring him to meet and whines when she doesn't hear from him every day. It's a clear indication of what will be in his future if he gets involved with this "no strings attached" relationship. This is what happens when women chase men. Despite how often you hear men say they like it, this is typical of how they respond when a woman throws herself at a man and can't take a hint. He's doing everything he can to make it clear that he isn't interested in her without coming right out and telling her to go away.
Since we got back in touch, after about a week he started being very suggestive. At first i just told him to stop. He even told me he wanted me, i took it meaning in every way which obviously was not what he meant. After a while i gave in, and was suggestive back, although i later regretted it because it really isn't me at all. I don't disagree that he may have thought i came on too strong and that is why he didn't want to pursue a NSA thing, and i don't think he led me on in terms of wanting a relationship, but he went from telling me he wanted me, to telling me he didn't want to be a **** and wanted to meet as friends, to telling me i was smothering him within 72 hours. This is what i am referring to as mixed signals.
Also i never whined that he didn't contact me every day. I got irritated because he kept changing daily on what he wanted, and i wanted to know straight.
And being an idiot still wondering if there is hope for our friendship.
You're not an idiot for wondering if there is hope for your friendship. You're only an idiot if you keep pushing it, because that will pretty much guarantee the end of it if he's feeling smothered.
Also i never whined that he didn't contact me every day. I got irritated because he kept changing daily on what he wanted, and i wanted to know straight.
THOUSANDS of single men are within 30 minute drive of where you live and you choose to spend all of your time trying to get the attention of ONE??? One that doesn't even make time to see you???
Because he was being honest? I don't know that he was, but that would be my first assumption until I have reason to believe otherwise.
Friends are sexually attracted to each other sometimes. I've never known it to be a crime to discuss it. Friends tend to be open with each other.
Sorry, I call bullsh**** He's reading her like a book, he knows she wants to be his girlfriend, he doesn't want her, so why hold her back from the guy who would want her? That's no friend. That's a selfish predator. Just because you're sexually attracted, you don't have to discuss it or act on it, especially if you see the woman wants more. That would be a friend looking out for a friend. That dude is just a shark looking for food.
THOUSANDS of single men are within 30 minute drive of where you live and you choose to spend all of your time trying to get the attention of ONE??? One that doesn't even make time to see you???
UNBELIEVABLE...
That's because some women think sex is something to barter for what they want from a man. Then afterwards they wonder why they feel tricked and slightly violated. Never once stopping to think what sex could be with a man who wants all of you, not just the lady parts.
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