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Old 11-19-2014, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
3,649 posts, read 4,500,322 times
Reputation: 5939

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Alright so this is something I've kind of known for awhile but never really paid attention to? Because I had a girlfriend for the past year (no longer do)...anyway, I have been scouring craigslist room/shared section for a place to live, and got an e-mail from this chick 2 days ago saying she is soon transferring colleges and needs someone to take over her room/lease etc etc, and we made a time for me to come see it earlier today. Welllllll, of course she was drop dead gorgeous...she was also real cool...the other roommates werent home so we got to talkin a bit aaaand when she showed me what would be my room (it's her room now, she's movin out) we ended up having sex....and now I seriously can't stop thinking about her, even though I know she's moving out of state in 2 weeks. We've been e-mailing back and forth about all kinds of things for most of the night (yeah email! not fb or texting) and just damn c-d, how do i stop this from happening. it sure isn't the first time. hell, since i broke up with the aforementioned girlfriend of a year, i have been trying to rekindle things with an ex (we were dating 5 years, she is really the one that got away i miss her like wild) thinking about that ex literally all day. Especially at work, where I have a job that just requires me to sit at my station 8 hours a day and do the same repetitive thing allllllllllll day every day. I have music in my ears and all I think about for most of the shift is that ex! Playing out scenarios in my head on how to win her back...

so idk if it's me getting too attached to the girls i am/have been with, or even obsessive (but not in a creepy way!) or what...i just don't really know what to do. i want to settle down with a girl that i can be with every night and cuddle with on the couch watching movies and eatin snacks and whatnot. i dont want to keep disappointing myself with really liking a girl then we can;t have a relationship for whatever reason...does anyone have any advice for me please?
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Old 11-19-2014, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,721,390 times
Reputation: 40199
Simple.

When you really want steak you drive right on by all the McDonald's.

If you REALLY want a relationship, something long term you can grow with, then you have to stop engaging in easy sex/hook-ups, especially with women you know are not available for a relationship.

In addition, you start right now to exercise some self-discipline and MAKE yourself stop ruminating on fantasies all day long.
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Old 11-19-2014, 09:09 PM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,236,769 times
Reputation: 62669
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordHelmit View Post
Alright so this is something I've kind of known for awhile but never really paid attention to? Because I had a girlfriend for the past year (no longer do)...anyway, I have been scouring craigslist room/shared section for a place to live, and got an e-mail from this chick 2 days ago saying she is soon transferring colleges and needs someone to take over her room/lease etc etc, and we made a time for me to come see it earlier today. Welllllll, of course she was drop dead gorgeous...she was also real cool...the other roommates werent home so we got to talkin a bit aaaand when she showed me what would be my room (it's her room now, she's movin out) we ended up having sex....and now I seriously can't stop thinking about her, even though I know she's moving out of state in 2 weeks. We've been e-mailing back and forth about all kinds of things for most of the night (yeah email! not fb or texting) and just damn c-d, how do i stop this from happening. it sure isn't the first time. hell, since i broke up with the aforementioned girlfriend of a year, i have been trying to rekindle things with an ex (we were dating 5 years, she is really the one that got away i miss her like wild) thinking about that ex literally all day. Especially at work, where I have a job that just requires me to sit at my station 8 hours a day and do the same repetitive thing allllllllllll day every day. I have music in my ears and all I think about for most of the shift is that ex! Playing out scenarios in my head on how to win her back...

so idk if it's me getting too attached to the girls i am/have been with, or even obsessive (but not in a creepy way!) or what...i just don't really know what to do. i want to settle down with a girl that i can be with every night and cuddle with on the couch watching movies and eatin snacks and whatnot. i dont want to keep disappointing myself with really liking a girl then we can;t have a relationship for whatever reason...does anyone have any advice for me please?
She must not be that important if you have had a girlfriend for a year and you had sex with some gal you just met.
You need to figure out what you really do want and quit chasing those you don't want and quit having sex with strangers.
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Old 11-19-2014, 09:10 PM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,725,695 times
Reputation: 54735
Wait, so you are thinking about craigslist hookup girl alllll day, and you are also thinking about your ex allll day?

Are these thoughts mostly sexual in nature?

Anyway what we all really want to know is, will you be taking the room?
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Old 11-19-2014, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,855,270 times
Reputation: 25362
Oh no!
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Old 11-19-2014, 09:20 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,426,017 times
Reputation: 7783
Some guys get wildly attached after sex, you sound like one of them. Its just the way some guys/girls are.

For all the posters taking shots at you, I won't be one. Hookup sex can be great fun.
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Old 11-19-2014, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
3,649 posts, read 4,500,322 times
Reputation: 5939
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Simple.

When you really want steak you drive right on by all the McDonald's.

If you REALLY want a relationship, something long term you can grow with, then you have to stop engaging in easy sex/hook-ups, especially with women you know are not available for a relationship.

In addition, you start right now to exercise some self-discipline and MAKE yourself stop ruminating on fantasies all day long.
Does McDonald's have steak these days?
Anyway, I don't usually engage in hook ups like this, in fact this girl today is only the 5th girl I've ever been with...and in the "heat of the moment" I wasn't really thinking about the fact that she wasn't available for a relationship...I guess obviously thay's my fault...I will try harder tomorrow to make myself stop thinking about these fantasies, but I do try every shift and it's tough. I can start thinking about other things hell including the work itself but the work is so mindless I can go through it paying barely any mind to it...and my mi9ind always ends up wandering back to the thoughts of the ex. Especially when certain songs end up playing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
She must not be that important if you have had a girlfriend for a year and you had sex with some gal you just met.
You need to figure out what you really do want and quit chasing those you don't want and quit having sex with strangers.
She is important to me. The girlfriend for the past year yeah that wasn't the best idea, but I don't think that means the ex was un-important to me...she had moved on so I figured I would try to as well.. ended up in another relationship after a few weeks of "friends with benefits".

Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Wait, so you are thinking about craigslist hookup girl alllll day, and you are also thinking about your ex allll day?

Are these thoughts mostly sexual in nature?

Anyway what we all really want to know is, will you be taking the room?
Thinking about the cragislist chick alllll night, but before tonight it was the ex. No idea how tomorrow's long day of thoughts will play out. The thoughts are not sexual in nature. And i am taking the room lol
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:12 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,414,746 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordHelmit View Post
Alright so this is something I've kind of known for awhile but never really paid attention to? Because I had a girlfriend for the past year (no longer do)...anyway, I have been scouring craigslist room/shared section for a place to live, and got an e-mail from this chick 2 days ago saying she is soon transferring colleges and needs someone to take over her room/lease etc etc, and we made a time for me to come see it earlier today. Welllllll, of course she was drop dead gorgeous...she was also real cool...the other roommates werent home so we got to talkin a bit aaaand when she showed me what would be my room (it's her room now, she's movin out) we ended up having sex....and now I seriously can't stop thinking about her, even though I know she's moving out of state in 2 weeks. We've been e-mailing back and forth about all kinds of things for most of the night (yeah email! not fb or texting) and just damn c-d, how do i stop this from happening. it sure isn't the first time. hell, since i broke up with the aforementioned girlfriend of a year, i have been trying to rekindle things with an ex (we were dating 5 years, she is really the one that got away i miss her like wild) thinking about that ex literally all day. Especially at work, where I have a job that just requires me to sit at my station 8 hours a day and do the same repetitive thing allllllllllll day every day. I have music in my ears and all I think about for most of the shift is that ex! Playing out scenarios in my head on how to win her back...

so idk if it's me getting too attached to the girls i am/have been with, or even obsessive (but not in a creepy way!) or what...i just don't really know what to do. i want to settle down with a girl that i can be with every night and cuddle with on the couch watching movies and eatin snacks and whatnot. i dont want to keep disappointing myself with really liking a girl then we can;t have a relationship for whatever reason...does anyone have any advice for me please?
Your obsession over an ex and possibly with this CL girl who's moving out of state could be related to "the rush" so to speak when falling in love. Biochemically related to the effects of cocaine.

Here's a quick synopsis . You probably have fears surrounding loneliness. And, you're feeling under-stimulated. Reliving your ex in your memories is sorta like your mini-endorphin fix.
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:47 AM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,054,161 times
Reputation: 16753
Please use birth control if you hook up with her again. You don't need more kids.
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