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No anal....next! J/K, I'm sure you already know the answer. You have more than compromised to satisfy his hunger. I think the writing is on the wall....a marriage filled with self doubt, one sided compromise....I think most would say you have been more than accommodating, and after allowing so much, having him be deceitful, is rather troubling.
Hi I am new here. I have read many discussions about husbands and porn, lying etc. Here is where I stand. I'm 28 and my husband is 43. I know all men look at porn. Its common. I don't really get mad about it. I get mad about him lying and being deceitful about it. Let me start here. When we first met I was the one who instigated sex. I have a high sex drive. I have told him many times I'm very sexual. He knows this by now. We've been together four yrs and married one. I've offered to buy and watch porn together. I've taken photos and made home flix with him. I wear lingerie for him. I pretty much do anything and everything he wants except anal. Just not ready for it. We overall have a healthy sex life. Most of the time we have sex every night. But he swears he isn't looking at porn and I find it. He hides it. He lies about it. He one time said it was an email. He doesn't have email. This really isn't about porn. Its just about the lying. No I don't like porn. I will watch it if he wants but he refuses to have me look at it with him. He refuses to.include me knowing that I'm open with alot of things. I don't get it. What should I do??
-stop 'instigating' sex
- porn is free
- he watches porn and sees the constant anal being done and he feels he is missing out...
- what you should do is stop saying he is lying about everything. your whole post is completely about PORN and how you hate it. you qualified everything by talking about your sex drive and frequency of sex as if to say "arent i enough, why does he have to watch porn..."
blame the internet... the internet made it possible to just be browsing something harmless and as you know thoughs of sex is constantly living in a man's mind. therefore if you are on a computer and sex comes across your mind then all of a sudden you open up a new window and google a nasty term and wallah you are in a porn trap
It's posts like these that just go to show just how little men and women understand about each-other. When I read the advice that some of the women on this thread are giving, all I can do is shake my head. Even if a man was married to an 18 year supermodel that wanted it 10 times a day, he's still going to watch porn and say hi to his monster. It has nothing to do with a man's significant other or the quality of his relationship.
There are two types of men. Guys that watch porn and guys that lie about watching porn. LOL
But in all seriousness, I've never met a guy that didn't watch porn in this Internet era. Not one. And if I did, would question his sanity. Suppressing these types of urges will **** a guys head up. This is why people in places like the middle east are so bonkers. It's because of religious oppression.
8-10 years ago my wife used to dislike my watching porn. She thought I wanted or was fantasizing for some other woman by watching porn. It took some convincing that that was not the case and that porn has its value in a relationship. And now she herself watches porn sometimes--alone in her jetted tub--to prepare for the mood
But she still objects to me watching women-on-women kind of porn--she thinks I want another woman along with her. I am not going to lie about it and say that I don't have such fantasies. Perhaps it is in a man's DNA. But I don't have to act upon fantasies. Anyway, I told her that: "You are making me uncomfortable with such comments to the point where I have to switch the videos or turn the screen away from you." I think she is trying to understand my viewpoint but I still, in deference, don't test her.
Needless to say my wife and I have to work it out some more on these things. But I don't think there is 'trust deficit' between us.
Morale of the story: Grab the bull by both horns and deal with the issues.
PS. Yeah, the OP husband's putting on of lingeries to get off is pretty weird!!!
There are two types of men. Guys that watch porn and guys that lie about watching porn. LOL
But in all seriousness, I've never met a guy that didn't watch porn in this Internet era. Not one. And if I did, would question his sanity. Suppressing these types of urges will **** a guys head up. This is why people in places like the middle east are so bonkers. It's because of religious oppression.
Sounds a lot like typical talk-radio mentality.
Not watching porn =/= suppressing your urges.
Never assume that just because YOU do it, ALL people do it.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 11-22-2014 at 04:48 PM..
Reason: typo
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